Sins of the Past - Roy
by Pandaboo704
Summary: Roy is accused of murder, by the brother of a man that died in Vietnam. Tempers run high as everyone debates the moral and ethical implications of assisted suicide. The US military wants to make a stance against assisted suicide. Will they use Roy as a pawn in their political game?
1. Chapter 1

"Roy, can you help me put out the h'ordeuvres?"

"H'ordeuvres? This man is not here for a social visit Joanne; he's interviewing me to determine if I'm guilty of murder," Roy said, looking at his wife in disbelief.

"Even more reason to be polite and friendly," Joanne said, as she carried a tray out into the living room. "I have a pitcher of iced tea in the fridge; will you please bring it out while I grab glasses?"

Roy just stood there staring at his wife, his mouth hanging open.

Joanne walked back into the kitchen and grabbed several glasses setting them out on the table near the tray of h'ordeuvres. She looked briefly at Roy, and then went and grabbed the pitcher of iced tea herself.

Roy opened his mouth to say something, but the words froze as the doorbell rang.

Roy turned to open the door, shaking his head as he looked at the table with drinks and h'ordeuvres.

Roy opened the door to find a man dressed in a military dress uniform.

"Good afternoon, Mr. DeSoto. I'm Captain Jeffrey Johnson. I'm with the Judge Advocate General Corps."

"Welcome to our home," Joanne said stepping forward and putting out her hand. "I'm Joanne DeSoto, Roy's wife."

Captain Johnson shook her hand. "Ma'am."

"Please have a seat," Joanne said. "Can I pour you some iced tea?"

Captain Johnson gave her a polite smile. "No, thank you, Ma'am."

Roy moved over to the sofa next to Joanne and sat down. Captain Johnson continued to stand in front of the chair.

Roy reached up and lightly grasped Joanne's arm, tugging her to sit down next to him. As soon as Joanne sat down, Captain Johnson took a seat.

"Mr. DeSoto, I'm sure you are aware of why I'm here."

"Please, call me Roy; and yes, I'm aware of the accusations against me."

"If I may, I'd like to read over the information I have obtained from Dennis Kramer and see if there is anything you would like to add."

Roy simply nodded.

"Dennis Kramer states that on April 30, 1968 he and his brother's platoon was ambushed in Dau Teng, Vietnam. According to his statement, your platoon was sent to help them try to hold their position. He ascertains that during the fighting his brother Scott Kramer was wounded. You were working as a medic and came over to assist. Private Scott Kramer's injuries were severe; he'd already lost his right leg from the knee down and had a wound to his abdomen. Dennis claims Scott was emotionally and mentally distraught. He was having difficulty processing the fact that he was going to be crippled, he was in extreme pain and began to beg you to just kill him. Dennis claims that you gave Scott a shot of morphine to help with the pain, but that didn't stop Scott from saying he just wanted to die. He was a college football player that expected to go pro when he returned from the war and now that was all over. Dennis claims that even with the morphine Scott was still in a lot of pain and was begging you for more pain medication. Dennis says that you explained to Scott that if you gave him anymore that it could stop his breathing, and that just made Scott beg you even more. Pretty soon he wasn't begging you to stop the pain, but to end his life. Dennis claims that you gave Scott the lethal dose of morphine, ending his brother's life."

Roy sat stoically as Captain Johnson ran through the statement made by Dennis Kramer.

"Would you like to give me your statement now, Mr. DeSoto?"

Roy looked at Captain Johnson and then over at Joanne. "Jo, will you please go upstairs?"

"What?" Joanne asked, her eyes getting big. Why would Roy ask her to leave, she wondered?

"Please," Roy said.

Joanne stood up and slowly walked up the stairs.

Roy turned to Captain Johnson. "Did Dennis tell you he was also injured?"

"No."

"The platoon was under heavy attack from the Viet Cong. Dennis and his brother were hit by a grenade. Dennis had taken some shrapnel to the head; it wasn't severe, but he did have a concussion. He's correct in stating that his brother had lost his leg, but he had a lot more than an injury to his abdomen. Scott's body had absorbed the majority of the grenade blast; most of his abdomen was gone," Roy said quietly, the images running through his mind as he spoke.

Roy leaned forward, poured himself a glass of iced tea and slowly took a drink. Captain Johnson noticed that his hand trembled slightly. "It was the worst injury I'd seen in the field where the person was still conscious, let alone able to speak. Scott wasn't going to recover from that wound; most of his organs were gone; his brain just hadn't realized it yet. Unfortunately, it was registering his pain; Scott was begging me to help him with his pain. I gave him a high dose of morphine in the hopes of easing his pain. Dennis was the one saying he didn't want to live like this anymore. He was very emotional, crying that Scott was supposed to be a pro-football player and that he shouldn't have to live without a leg. I doubt Scott had the ability to think that clearly given how much blood he'd already lost and how much pain he was in."

"Did you give Scott a lethal dose of morphine?"

"They were trying to get an evac chopper to our location, but we were under heavy fire. The platoons started to gain some ground and push back the Viet Cong. But, a half-hour had passed and we were still out in that field. I couldn't believe Scott was still alive, but he was moaning loudly and obviously in extreme pain. I gave him another dose of morphine to try and ease his pain. He stopped breathing a few minutes later."

"Was it a lethal dose?"

Roy just looked at him.

"Meaning, could the morphine have been the reason he stopped breathing?"

"It doesn't matter. He was already dead; his brain just hadn't figured it out yet. His liver was in shreds 300 yards away from us," Roy ran a hand through his hair and stood up. "I was just trying to ease his pain."

"His brother is claiming that you gave him morphine with the intention of ending his life."

"It was to stop his pain."

"Was it a lethal dose?"

"It was above the recommended maximum dose, but we were never given an illegal dosage amount. We were trained to give a 10 mg initial dose, but could give up to 20 mg. I gave him 20 mg to start given what I could see of his medical condition. When that didn't help, I gave him another 10 mg."

Captain Johnson made some notes on his notepad. "That's a pretty specific recollection."

"Like I said, it was one of the worst injuries I'd ever seen. Those things don't leave you."

The man studied Roy for a few minutes. "I'm not going to lie to you Mr. DeSoto, there are some records of victims brought into aid stations when they were already deceased, but most are very generic and don't provide a lot of information. This case is a lot of he said this and he said that. I seriously doubt the Judge Advocate General will decide to proceed with this case. I'll present the information you've given me. My counterpart in the office, Captain Matthew Parker will present the information from Dennis Kramer. My guess is this will be dismissed for lack of evidence of a crime. You should be able to put his all behind you by the end of next week."

Roy smiled for the first time in a week. "That's the best news I've heard since this all began."

Captain Johnson stood up. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. DeSoto. I'll be in touch."

E

Ashley stepped into the living room to find Mike and Tina both waiting for her. "Oh, guys, c'mon, don't make a big deal outta this; I'm nervous enough."

"You're first day in your station," Tina grinned.

"I haven't been this nervous since the first day I headed toward Station 51."

"And look how good that turned out," Mike said.

Ashley drew in a shaky breath and just looked at him.

Mike walked over and wrapped her in a hug. "Your gonna do great. You're gonna be teamed up with Kyle Stevens. Johnny and Roy say he's a good paramedic. I've done some shifts with Captain Reagan, he's a fair guy. The Engineer is Tommy Brown, he's smart and takes good care of the crew. He's a bit of a playboy, but nothing you can't handle. Your linesmen are Jake Barker, the senior linesman. Joe Small, is the junior linesman. They've both subbed at 51s and were good. Jake's got a bit of a wild streak, but he's professional on the job. Joe's a nice guy, we've gone dune bugging a few times together."

"I know, Mike. Johnny, Roy, you, Captain Stanley, Marco and Chet have all talked to me about my new crew mates. I know they're nice guys and I've got no doubts that all of you have told them to treat me right; it's just first-day jitters."

"You told us not to interfere, we didn't say anything to them," Mike protested.

Ashley cocked her head and looked at Mike.

"What?"

Ashley kept looking at him.

"Look, Tommy and I were in a class together last week. He happened to mention that they were getting you at their station. I may have mentioned that you and I go way back, but I didn't say anything about how I expected you to be treated."

Ashley just laughed. She leaned forward and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek.

As Ashley grabbed a can of ginger ale and walked out the door to get to the station she remembered leaving her apartment that first day before going to Station 51. She'd taken a pill before walking out the door on that day. She shook her head as she opened the car door and got in. She'd had no idea how much her life was gonna change. She'd reconnected with Mike, was able to start putting Maddie's death behind her, she'd developed some great friendships with the guys at the station. She'd met Tina, who was one of her best friends. A big smile spread across Ashley's face, and she'd met Johnny.

Ashley stopped at the red light and let her mind wander briefly to yesterday afternoon. Johnny had taken her out to a remote lake where he liked to fish and hike on his days off. Ashley felt her cheeks start to flush as she remembered how he'd laid back on the blanket and encouraged her to explore his body. She could still see the image of him laying on the blanket, his eyes closed, a look of pleasure on his face as she…

Ashley was jarred back to reality at the sound of the car behind her honking his horn. The light was green and the car that had been in front of her was already through the intersection. Ashley raised her hand in an apology and quickly hit the gas. Daydreaming would have to wait until she was home on a day off.

Ashley pulled into a parking spot and quickly took another sip of ginger ale. She got out of the car and looked at her new station. The building was older than Station 51, but still looked nice. Ashley slowly walked to the door and opened it, stepping directly into the back end of the bay. She walked a few steps, her shoes echoing in the empty bay. C-shift must be out on a call.

Ashley hesitated by the locker room. She'd worn her uniform in to avoid the awkward dance of trying to figure out how to change without disrupting the usual flow of the crew. She'd like to put her bag away though. Ashley raised her hand to knock on the door and stepped back when the door suddenly opened.

"Whoa," a guy said, stepping back in surprise to see someone at the door as he opened it.

"Sorry to startle you, I'm Ashley James."

"Hi, Ashley; I'm Tommy Brown, the Engineer on 24s A shift. You didn't startle me; I'm just not used to anyone else getting here this early."

Ashley smiled, "I didn't want to be late on my first day."

Tommy stepped back into the locker room. "C'mon in, I'll show you an empty locker."

Ashley followed him into the room. Tommy helped her find a free locker in a separate row than the guys. "That way you can change and not worry about any of us walking in on you. We won't have any reason to go past this row and there's only one entrance."

"But, what about if I walk in on you?"

"If you keep getting here this early the only person you'll walk in on is me, and with this body, I'm not shy," Tommy winked at her.

Ashley resisted the urge to laugh, Tommy was definitely living up to Mike's description of a playboy.

"C'mon, I'll give you a tour of the station while we're waiting for Kyle to show up."

Kyle managed to give her the full tour and she was introduced to Jake Barker and Joe Small before Kyle got in.

"Kyle, your new partner's been waiting for ya for like an hour," Tommy teased the paramedic as he walked in to get some coffee.

"I was really early and it hasn't been anywhere near an hour," Ashley stated, worried that Kyle may not like the teasing.

"Relax, Ashley, Tommy's always giving me hassle because I actually have a life and don't show up 2 hours before our shift begins. Did he actually give you a tour of the station, or was he just trying to impress you with his charms?" Kyle smiled at her over his coffee mug.

"He gave me a tour of the station, but said he'd save the squad for you," Ashley said.

"Then let's get to it before we get a call," Kyle said, moving toward the bay.

Ashley stood up and followed him.

Kyle showed her where he kept the key for the compartments. Like Johnny and Roy, he preferred to keep it unlocked to allow for quick entry when arriving on a call. He went over how the supplies were organized and explained how he preferred they respond in regards to which person grabbed which equipment on calls. He had a lot of preferences and Ashley found she needed to take a few notes to keep it all straight. She definitely did not understand his logic, but did not want to cause any waves on her first day.

"Now, I know you worked with DeSoto and Gage for several months before starting the academy and I've been told you've got a nursing degree; but let's be clear, I'm the senior paramedic and you do what I say," Kyle said, looking her directly in the eyes.

Ashley paused for a minute, a little surprised at the intensity of his voice and the seriousness in his expression. "Sure."

"Good, as long as that's clear, we should get along just fine."

E

"How'd your meeting go with the army lawyer guy go?" Johnny asked Roy as he entered the locker room.

"Good, better than I was expecting," Roy said, opening his locker. "Captain Johnson thinks the case will get dropped due to lack of evidence."

"Well, that's good news," Johnny said, sitting on the edge of his locker so he could tie his shoes.

"Yeah, huge weight off my shoulders. How was Ashley yesterday? Was she really nervous about today?

"I think I kept her mind off of it," Johnny said with a smile.

"I ran into Joe Small right after our last shift at the grocery store. I let him know that Ashley had been a valuable part of our team and was a member of the 51 family, no matter what station she was at," Roy said.

Chet walked in and moved toward his locker, catching the end of Roy's conversation.

Johnny laughed and shook his head. "Mike spoke to Tommy Brown too. Since I happened to see Kyle at Rampart on our last shift, I may have mentioned that Ashley was very important to me."

"Please, Gage, you've told everyone and their brother that Ashley's dating you. I'm surprised you haven't taken out a full page newspaper ad," Chet scoffed.

"That's because he can't believe he's actually finally got a girlfriend, let alone someone as beautiful as Ashley," Marco said, as he entered the locker room and joined the conversation.

"You too, Marco," Johnny looked over at him.

Marco just laughed and moved to start changing. Johnny walked out of the locker room and headed to get a cup of coffee. Roy shook his head and followed Johnny.

"Hey, Roy, everything good?" Mike asked as Johnny and Roy walked into the kitchen.

"Sounds like it should be just fine," Roy said, knowing Mike was talking about the murder accusation.

"Good to hear."

"How was Ashley this morning?" Johnny asked. He'd wanted to come over in the morning, but she had been insistent that it would make her more nervous. Actually, he'd wanted her to sleep at his place, he promised her he wouldn't push for anything to happen, but she said she wouldn't be able to sleep.

"She was nervous, more nervous than I've seen her in a while."

"She'll do fine. She's a good paramedic," Johnny said, as much to reassure himself as to reassure Mike.

"Chet, how's Lizzie doing?" Mike asked, as Chet walked into the kitchen.

"She's doing…okay," Chet said. "School's been pretty tough on her. A lot of whispering behind her back, some outright comments that she should be in jail. Physically she's healing just fine; but emotionally she took a hit. I think it's helping to focus on the fact her mom and I are dating; but that's about to come under fire too."

"Whatdya mean?" Roy asked.

"Mary's parents are coming into town next weekend and Mary's decided to tell them we are back together," Chet said, sitting down at the table.

"So you're afraid their gonna talk some sense into Mary and she's gonna dump you," Johnny joked.

"Gage.." Chet stood up looking angry.

"Roll call," Captain Stanley interrupted.

The man moved into the bay and received their assignments for the day.

"Do you think we'll run into Ashley at Rampart today?" Johnny asked Roy as they moved to do a check of supplies and the biophone.

"Maybe," Roy said.

At that moment the klaxons sounded calling them out for a potential heart attack.

The guys moved into the squad for the start of what was a very long day of multiple calls.

E

Johnny slipped out of the treatment room and into the hallway. He let himself lean against the wall for just a moment and close his eyes. He looked briefly at the clock and gave up on the hope of ever seeing a bed tonight. It was almost 4:30 AM. The day had been filled with bad fires, car crashes, multiple heart attacks, and the most recent call an overdosed teenager.

"Rough night?"

Johnny started to smile before he even opened his eyes. "Hey, Beautiful."

Ashley smiled at him and handed him her cup of coffee. "You look like you could use this even more than me."

"How'd your first day go?"

"Ashley, we got a call," Kyle called from down the hallway.

"It's not over yet," Ashley smiled at him.

"Stay safe," they said to each other simultaneously.

Johnny watched her hurry down the hallway toward Kyle. He lifted the cup of coffee to his lips and took a big drink. He made a face.

"Too much sugar?"

"Ugh, I've got to teach her how to drink her coffee black; especially if she's gonna share it with me."

Roy looked at his watch, "Any chance we can make it back to the station and close our eyes for an hour?"

Johnny shook his head. "I wouldn't hold my breath."

The guys moved down the hallway toward the exit and out into the parking lot.

"So far so good," Roy said, getting into the squad.

As Johnny closed the door, the radio clicked. "Squad 51, what's your status?"

Johnny looked over at Roy. "You had to open your mouth."

Roy reached over and picked up the mic. "Squad 51, available."

"There has been a fight with injuries at the Mason Jar Bar, 124 Highland Way, cross street Wayfair. Time out 4:38."

"10-4."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi, Artemis," Captain Stanley threw up his hand to greet the restaurant owner as the guys entered The Breakfast Club after their shift. It had been a night of very little sleep, but everyone had agreed a week ago to meet for breakfast today so they could hear about Ashley's first day.

"Hey, Fellas, rough night?" The waitress asked, taking in the dark circles under their eyes.

"You can just bring us individual pots of coffee," Marco said, plopping down in a chair and briefly closing his eyes.

The waitress smiled. "We'll fix you up."

"There's my favorite paramedic," Johnny said, smiling as Ashley approached the table.

Ashley leaned over and dropped a quick kiss on his lips before sitting down in the chair next to him.

"How was the first day?" Roy asked.

"It was good. It's gonna take a bit of time for Kyle and I to get our system down, but I'll study my notes on his preferences on my days off and hopefully our next shift will be a bit smoother."

"Whatdya mean, his preferences?" Johnny asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Just…preferences. Like, he always wants to be the one to grab defibrillator and drug box when we go on a possible heart attack. He wants me to always grab the biophone and oxygen. But, if it's a potential overdose, then he wants to grab the drug box and biophone and I should grab the oxygen and defibrillator." Ashley explained.

"So he gives the girl the oxygen, the heaviest thing to carry, all the time?" Chet asked. "Whatta dope."

"Chet, I'm strong enough to carry the oxygen, that isn't a problem," Ashley said, rolling her eyes.

"What's his reasoning?" Roy asked.

Ashley shrugged.

"You didn't ask him?" Johnny said, surprised she hadn't asked for the point behind Kyle's rules.

"I did, but he reminded me that as the junior paramedic on the team, my job was to listen to him and do as I'm told."

"Seriously? I'll call him after breakfast, that's ridiculous," Johnny said, getting irritated.

"No you won't," Ashley said, turning to face him. "I'm fine with things, Johnny. I just started, and I don't want to be branded a troublemaker right from the beginning. I also don't want you handling things for me. I don't want people thinking I need you to protect me."

"But…"

"No." Ashley said firmly.

"Guess we know who wears the pants in the relationship," Chet joked, as Johnny slowly nodded in agreement.

"Chester B. Kelly, if you give Johnny a hard time and therefore make this harder on me, I'll make the phantom look like a Girl Scout with the ways I'll find to torture you," Ashley warned.

Chet put up his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay. No teasing."

Captain Stanley laughed, but looked over at Ashley. "I understand not wanting to make waves as soon as you start, but if his attitude keeps up, you should talk to Captain Reagan. This may just be his way of making sure the "new boot" stays outta trouble, and that's fine. But, if it continues after you've proven yourself, it may indicate a bigger issue."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Roy, I haven't heard the latest, did you meet with the JAG officer?" Ashley asked, wanting to change the topic. The truth was there'd been a couple of calls on that first shift that had really bothered her. Kyle did his job and was good; but he didn't want to do anything beyond the bare minimum of his job. It had been a lot different than working with Johnny and Roy.

"Captain Johnson seemed to think the charges would just be dismissed. Too much his word against mine with no real evidence."

"Hey, that's good news," Ashley smiled, relieved that this would soon be behind Roy and his family.

"Ashley, are you gonna come to the youth center on Saturday to help with the clean up?" Marco asked, and then immediately yawned.

"Of course, I'm catching a ride over with Mike and Tina."

"Johnny's not picking you up?" Chet cocked an eyebrow, wondering if there was a way to tease Gage that wouldn't get him in trouble with Ashley.

"That would be silly," Ashley said. "Johnny lives a few blocks from the Youth Center. He'd have to drive 2 miles in the opposite direction to get me."

"I'd do it," Johnny said, his voice slightly sluggish.

Ashley looked over at him and couldn't help but laugh. He'd slumped so far down in his seat she couldn't believe he hadn't just slipped right to the floor yet and his eyes were closed.

"You guys have got to go home and get some sleep."

The group mumbled something completely incoherent.

"Seriously, up! Are you all safe to drive?" Ashley asked, briefly trying to figure out how she would manage to get all of them in her car.

"I've only got a couple of blocks, I'll be fine," Roy said, rubbing his eyes and stretching.

"Yeah, I'm good," Marco said, covering another yawn.

"Are you sure about that?" Ashley asked.

Marco nodded and headed toward the parking lot. He knew he'd make it home okay, but he was definitely ready to crawl into bed.

Johnny stood up and slipped his arms around Ashley's waist. He leaned close, so he could whisper in her ear. "I think I need you to drive me home and get me in to bed."

Ashley smiled. "I think you're fine."

"Come on, Beautiful, come home with me," Johnny moved her hair back to kiss the side of her neck by her ear.

"Mike, are you okay to make it home?" Ashley asked.

"I'm good."

"I'm gonna follow Johnny home," Ashley said.

E

Chet watched Lizzie as she got out of the car and looked around. The Youth Center was a large white stucco building that had some graffiti on it. Someone had obviously tried to wash it off, but it had smeared the paint leaving behind a large black stain. The grass was more weeds than grass. The neighborhood was safe, but definitely different from the area where Lizzie lived with Mary and very different from where she had lived in Fontana.

"We should find Marco and see what he needs us to do?" Mary said, getting out of the car.

"There's Johnny," Lizzie said, watching the Range Rover pull into the parking lot.

Mary smiled. She knew Lizzie would never admit it, but Mary was sure she had a bit of a crush on Johnny.

"Hi, Johnny," Lizzie called out as Johnny got out of his vehicle.

"Hey, Lizzie. You're looking awfully pretty today," Johnny said, heading toward the group.

Lizzie just beamed.

"There's Mike, Tina and Ashley," Chet said.

Mary briefly wondered how Lizzie would handle seeing Johnny with Ashley. Lizzie knew he had a girlfriend, Ashley'd been at the picnic they all attended, but she and Johnny had obviously been having some issues and hadn't been affectionate with each other, at least not in front of her and Lizzie.

Johnny moved over to the truck. Ashley slid out and Mary watched as a smile lit up her face. Johnny wrapped her in a hug and gave her a kiss. Mary watched as Lizzie looked away. Mary gave a brief sigh, being a teenager with a crush on a grown man was tough, especially when he had a beautiful girlfriend.

The group moved over to join them. Johnny's arm slung over Ashley's shoulders.

"Ashley, do you remember Mary and Lizzie?" Chet asked.

"Hi, it's nice to see you again," Ashley gave them both a big smile, but Lizzie basically ignored her.

Ashley looked over toward Mary, and Mary offered her another smile.

"We should get in there and find out what Marco needs us to do," Mike said, also noticing that Lizzie ignored Ashley.

The group moved inside where Joanne and Roy were already waiting. Chris and Jennifer had been playing the corner until the group walk in. "Uncle Johnny!" Chris yelled and went running toward Johnny.

"Aunt Ashley," Jenny called out as she raced toward Ashley.

They both picked the kids up when they reached them. "Can I stay the night with you?" Chris asked.

"Sorry, bud, you know your dad and I are on shift tomorrow," Johnny said.

"You could drive me home in the morning. I'll get up in time, I promise," Chris said.

"Can I stay too, Uncle Johnny?" Jenny asked.

Ashley laughed at the look on Johnny's face. "Only if Aunt Ashley promises to come over and help me," Johnny said.

"Until bedtime," Ashley said. "Then I need to get back to Aunt Tina's."

"When are you going to get your own place so I can stay the night with you, Aunt Ashley?" Jenny asked.

Ashley smiled. "I guess I should start thinking about that very soon. Especially if it means you'll spend the night with me," Ashley tickled Jenny, who broke out giggling.

"You know Jenny, you're welcome to stay the night now, Ashley lives with me and the three of us could have a lot of fun," Tina suggested. "We can't do tonight because I have to be at work even earlier than your dad, Johnny and Ashley, but soon."

"Yeah!" Jenny yelled.

"Thanks for coming guys," Marco said, coming into the room from the office.

"Hey, Marco," the gang called out.

"So what's the game plan?" Tina asked, looking around.

"This is a new building that we're adding to expand the youth center work we do. We need to fertilize the grass, try to get it looking nice. Weed the flower beds and plant some new bushes and flowers. We need to paint all the interior rooms, and we'd really like to get a mural painted on the outside of the building," Marco said, giving the group a quick overview of the work ahead of them.

"You know, Lizzie draws great and can paint too. I bet she could help with the mural outside," Mary said.

"Ashley's a pretty good artist too," Mike said. "We should team them up on the outside work."

Lizzie frowned at the suggestion. "What about Johnny?"

"Oh, you don't wanna see me draw," Johnny said.

"Maybe we could use one of your photographs for inspiration though," Ashley suggested. "Didn't you just pick up a bunch from the foto-mat?"

"Yeah, I still have them in the Rover," Johnny said.

"Why don't you get them and we can look through them, narrow them down and let Marco have the final say," Ashley suggested.

Johnny moved outside to get the pictures. Ashley moved off to the side and touched Mary's arm to get her to follow her. "Is Lizzie going to be okay working with me? She doesn't seem to like me very much."

"It's not really you," Mary said, looking over at her daughter. "I think she's got a bit of a crush on Johnny."

"Ah, I see," Ashley said.

Johnny walked back in holding the pictures. Ashley pointed over to a table and chairs and Johnny waved Lizzie over to join them. Ashley chose the chair that put Lizzie between her and Johnny as they looked at pictures.

It didn't take them long and they picked a bunch of pictures that when combined would make for a beautiful mural along the side of the building.

"You take such pretty pictures, Johnny," Lizzie said, looking at him with admiration.

"Thanks, Lizzie. It helps to have beautiful subjects," Johnny said.

"I'd love to go with you some time," Lizzie said. "Maybe you could teach me how to take pictures."

Johnny looked over at Ashley, picking up on the tone in Lizzie's voice. "Uh, I don't know, maybe some time," Johnny stammered.

"Lizzie, why don't you and I go show these to Marco and get his approval and then we can start drawing the mural," Ashley suggested.

Lizzie looked over at her and shrugged.

It took some time, but Ashley finally started getting Lizzie to open up to her. They shared a joy of drawing and painting and were working really well together.

"Wow, Lizzie, that cactus is fantastic," Ashley said, taking a step back.

"I'm glad Johnny got the picture when it was blooming, the color of the flower really softens the landscape," Lizzie said, stepping back to stand next to Ashley.

"Ready to take a break and get a drink?"

"Definitely," Lizzie smiled and headed toward the cooler.

She and Ashley sat down on a picnic table and watched Johnny, Roy and Mike work on pulling big bushes out of the back yard.

"Have you and Johnny been dating long?" Lizzie asked, looking down at her can of Pepsi.

We've known each other for several months, but we weren't allowed to date when I was working with him at Station 51, so we've only been dating for a couple of months."

"Do you love him?" Lizzie asked, looking over at her.

"Very much," Ashley answered honestly.

"Do you think you'll get married?"

Ashley smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess only time will tell."

"Do you think my mom and dad will get married?"

Ashley looked over at her. "I really haven't been around long enough to even make a guess on that, Lizzie. What I do know is that no matter what happens, you'll always have your mom and dad, and that is everything."

"You don't have parents do you?"

Ashley shook her head.

"Is it hard not having a family?"

Ashley smiled at her. "I do have a family. I have Johnny, Mike and Tina, Roy, Chet, Marco, Captain Stanley, they're my family."

"But, they're not really family." Lizzie said.

"Sure they are. A family is any person, or people, that you can count on to always be there for you. That love you for who you are and support you, and care about you."

"You didn't have them when you were my age though," Lizzie pushed. "Were you lonely?"

Ashley paused, not sure how much she wanted to share with someone as young as Lizzie. "Sometimes."

"Were they mean to you? The places you lived, I mean."

"Sometimes."

"Did you ever have a family that was nice to you?"

"Yes," Ashley said quietly.

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

Ashley looked over at Lizzie and then over at the building where she could see Mary and Chet through the door. Mary was laughing at something Chet had said or done. She knew they'd been going through a tough time with Lizzie and that for her, this wasn't just helping, but was court mandated community service. Maybe she could help Lizzie in some small way.

"I was really messed up for a long time. I was angry that my parents and sister had died. I blamed myself for them dying. I didn't think I deserved to be loved, or that anyone could love me because I was so horrible. So, I pushed everyone away. I was mean and withdrawn. I wouldn't talk. I'd do things that were stupid and dangerous."

"How come?"

"I wanted to prove that people would get rid of me, so I'd push them until they did eventually get rid of me."

"How did you get over that?"

Ashley thought about it for a few minutes. "I saw a doctor."

"A psychiatrist?"

"Yes, a psychiatrist. She helped me talk through some of my issues, some of my past."

"So now you're all better?"

"I'm getting there. It took me a long time to get to where I was, and it'll take me some time to get where I want to be."

"My mom thinks I should see a shrink," Lizzie said, looking down at her hands. "She thinks I need help adjusting to the move, and having a dad and learning about what they did in the past, and dealing with Trevor's…" Lizzie didn't say death, but Ashley knew about the situation.

"I really liked Dr. Baker. She's not at all scary."

"Is that your doctor?"

Ashley nodded.

"I don't know," Lizzie said.

Ashley decided she should definitely not push. "C'mon, let's get back to painting."

E

"Man, you guys did an awesome job!" Johnny praised Ashley and Lizzie as he stood and admired the mural.

"It'll still need a lot of work next week," Lizzie said.

"It's a great start," Mike said, joining the group.

"Lizzie gets most of the credit," Ashley said. "She outlined the scene, my job has just been to paint within the lines."

Lizzie smiled at Ashley's compliment.

"You've got a lot of talent," Johnny said, smiling at Lizzie, who just beamed at his praise.

"I came over to tell you guys that Marco's got the food ready," Johnny said.

"We need to clean up the paintbrushes, so they don't get ruined," Lizzie said.

"Johnny and I will take care of that. You girl's go ahead and get something to eat," Mike said, bending over to start picking up the paint brushes.

Johnny closed up the paint cans and pounded the lids in place. They quickly had everything put away and went to get food.

Everyone wandered around as they ate, surveying the work done by everyone else. The place looked totally different from how it had looked when they'd pulled up that morning. Everyone was complimenting Lizzie on the mural.

As they began to get ready to go their separate ways, Lizzie walked over and gave Ashley a hug. "Do you think you can give my mom Dr. Baker's phone number?"

"Sure," Ashley said, acting like it was no big deal. She watched as Lizzie moved back over to join Chet and Mary.

"What was that all about?" Johnny asked, walking up and putting his arm around Ashley.

"Nothing," Ashley said, shaking her head.

Johnny looked at her briefly and decided not to press, it was obviously something just between the two of them.

"Can we ride home with Uncle Johnny?" Chris said, running up to them.

"I'll tell you what. Why don't you and Jenny ride with Ashley and I to my apartment and then your dad can bring over your pajamas later."

"Yea!" Both kids cheered.

"Make it close to bedtime Roy, and you can drop me back to Mike's on your way home?" Ashley asked.

"Sure."

"You could just stay the night. I can sleep in the living room with the kids. You can help me get them out the door on time," Johnny suggested.

"The last thing you're gonna need in the morning, is one more person needing your bathroom," Ashley laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "C'mon kids, I'll race you to the car."

Johnny watched the three of them run toward his vehicle, laughing and yelling. "Lotta good that's gonna do them," Johnny said looking at Roy, as he dangled the keys. "I've got the keys."

Roy just laughed and slapped Johnny on the back. "Have fun, partner."

E

"Aunt Ashley, dad says you're a fireman now? I didn't know girls could be firemen," Jenny said, as she leaned against Ashley on the couch.

They had played tag outside, played board games inside, played hide 'n seek, made cookies and were now trying to get the kids to settle down, so they would go to sleep soon.

"Well, they call us fire fighters when we're girls," Ashley explained, smiling down at Jenny.

"I don't think girls should be firemen, fire fighters," Chris said.

"You don't? How come?" Ashley asked, not really bothered by Chris's statement.

"Dad's uniforms stink and girl's shouldn't be stinky," Chris said, his voice confident that he was right.

Johnny snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. "You're right, Chris, girls shouldn't be stinky."

Ashley rolled her eyes at Johnny.

"Well, that's why we shower and put on perfume. And I make sure I wash my uniforms really good, so they don't stink," Ashley assured Chris.

"Are you gonna get hurt like Uncle Johnny does sometimes?" Jenny asked.

It was Ashley's turn to laugh. "I don't think anyone can get hurt like Uncle Johnny does."

"That's good, 'cause we only have the one guest room. You'd have to share a room with him," Jenny said, and then she leaned in closer to Ashley and whispered, "And he's stinky sometimes too."

Ashley did her best to give Jennifer a very serious expression as she looked over the little girl's head and winked at Johnny. "I know, he's kinda stinky today isn't he?"

Jennifer nodded her head in all seriousness.

"Hey, I am not," Johnny protested, sniffing under his arm. He wrinkled his nose, "Well, I've been working outside all day and running around playing tag."

That got Chris, Jennifer and Ashley all laughing. Johnny grabbed Chris and started pulling his face under his arm. "That's real man stink!"

"Ewww," Chris yelled, fighting to get away.

Pretty soon the new game was run away from stinky Uncle Johnny.

So much for trying to quiet the kids down, Ashley thought, as she followed the kids by jumping on Johnny's bed to try and escape him. The kids jumped off the bed and ran out the door back to the living room. Johnny caught her before she could follow them, pushing her back onto the bed. He pinned her under him, catching her mouth in a kiss. Ashley ran a hand through his hair and deepened the kiss just briefly.

"Aunt Ashley," Jennifer called out.

"Help me, guys, he caught me," Ashley replied.

"We've should've played more hide 'n seek," Johnny whispered. "We could both hide in the closet and that way I'd get a least a few seconds to make out with my girlfriend."

Ashley smiled, but had no time to reply as Jennifer and Chris jumped on the bed, pulling at Uncle Johnny, trying to free her.

E

Chet paced nervously, Mary's parents should be there any minute. He hadn't wanted to be there when they arrived. He thought it was best that Mary break the news to them that they were seeing each other again and then he'd face them some other time. Mary had called him a chicken and said if she was going to face the firing squad, he was going to stand there with her. The only saving grace was that Lizzie was there. Neither one of them thought her parents would go too ballistic with Lizzie watching.

"They're here," Mary said, seeing her parent's car pull up into the driveway.

"Lizzie, your grandparents are here," Chet called out.

"Afraid of 30 seconds without a buffer?" Mary teased.

"Better believe it. Your dad wanted me to rot in jail, remember?"

Lizzie came into living room as Mary opened the door to her parents. Chet had backed up a few steps, so he wasn't in the immediate line of sight.

"How are my two favorite girl's?" Mary's dad asked, as he entered the living room.

"Now, who's this?" Mary's mom asked, immediately spotting Chet, but not recognizing him from the past. She gave him a smile.

Chet smiled back, and immediately the mom's smile disappeared. "Oh dear," she whispered.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Her dad asked, his eyes flashing with anger at the sight of Chet.

"He's my dad!" Lizzie yelled back, defiance in her face.

"You watch your tone with me young lady," her grandfather warned. "He is not a dad, he's a sperm donor."

"Dad!" Mary objected.

"Only because you conspired to keep me away," Chet balked at the accusation. "If I'd known that Mary didn't lose the baby, I never woulda left."

"I don't want you to have anything to do with my daughter and granddaughter. I guess now we know why Lizzie's been getting into so much trouble, Mary brought this hooligan back into her life," Mary's dad ranted, looking at this wife.

"You're wrong, dad," Mary insisted. "I was the bad influence in our relationship when Chet and I were dating. There are so many things I need to come clean to you about; please sit down," Mary pleaded.

"I will not stay in a house with that man."

"Maybe I should go; give you all a chance to talk," Chet said.

"Yes, you should," Mary's dad said.

"No, you shouldn't," Mary and Lizzie said in unison.

Chet pulled Mary aside. "He's not gonna listen to anything you have to say as long as I'm here," Chet whispered. "Let me leave, talk to him, and give him time to come to terms with all the new information. We'll try this again later."

Mary watched as Chet let himself out of the house.

"Sit down, dad," Mary said. "I'm about to destroy a lot of your beliefs about your little girl."


	3. Chapter 3

Ashley pulled out the drug box and quickly did an inventory check. Kyle was checking the biophone. She glanced over at him briefly, as he hung up the biophone. "We're gonna need to make a run to Rampart as soon as we can. C shift was obviously busy, we're low on a lot of supplies."

"Let's head out now, if we end up busy I don't wanna not have the proper equipment," Kyle said, sliding the biophone back into the squad. "I'll go tell Cap."

Ashley closed the drug box and put it back in the squad closing the door. She started to open the door to the squad when the klaxons sounded. "Squad 24, man bitten by a dog. 38700 Northampton, cross streets Hix and Palmer."

Ashley slid into the squad and reached for her helmet. Kyle was next to her in just a matter of seconds. Captain Reagan handed the sheet of paper with the address on it to Kyle as Tommy raised the bay doors.

Ashley consulted the map, "Turn right at the stop sign and then right into the subdivision."

Kyle maneuvered the squad toward the crowd of people standing on one side of the street. Ashley followed their gazes and spotted their victim. "There."

Kyle pulled the squad over, but grabbed Ashley's arm before she got out of the squad. "We wait for animal control." Kyle picked up the mic, "LA, what's the ETA for Animal Control? We have a vicious dog at this location."

"Squad 24, Animal Control ETA is 10 minutes."

Ashley leaned forward to see the scene a bit better. The victim was perched up in a tree, and holding his hand pressed against his neck, but Ashley could see blood running between his fingers and down his shirt. The dog was jumping against the tree, obviously still trying to get to the man. He was barking and growling, his ears back and tail hanging low. The dog was a Bullmastiff and easily 120 lbs.

"I think the dog knicked his artery," Ashley said, looking closer at the guy in the tree. She was pretty sure the blood was spurting through his fingers, not just running through them. "We've got to get to him right now, he doesn't have 10 minutes."

"We wait."

"I've seen Roy move a dog back with an air tank before, let's get our turnouts on, get air tanks and see if we can push the dog back into that pen," Ashley pointed to the pen that was on the side of the house where they were parked. "It's probably his home, he'll probably go there instinctively."

"No, we wait for Animal Control," Kyle said emphatically.

"Kyle, that guy can't wait, look at him," Ashley insisted. "He's pale, he's losing a lot of blood, he's gonna lose consciousness soon and fall outta that tree. We've got to get to him."

"We wait," Kyle said, his voice taking on an edge of anger.

Ashley blew out a frustrated breath and sat back in her seat. She watched the scene in front of her for another second. She could see the bystanders on the other side of the street looking at them. "You wait," Ashley said, jumping out of the squad.

She opened the side compartment of the squad, pulling out her turnout.

"Ashley, get back in the squad, right now," Kyle said.

Ashley looked back over at the dog. Instead of grabbing the air tank, she grabbed a fire extinguisher. She started moving toward the scene.

"Ashley, that's an order!"

Ashley ignored him, and moved toward the dog. She really needed to start keeping dog treats, she thought. She wasn't sure why this dog was so mad at this particular man, but she knew Bullmastiff's weren't usually violent. Protective, yes, but not vicious.

Ashley made kissing sounds with her mouth, "Here puppy, puppy. Look at me, puppy."

The dog briefly turned and looked at her, then turned back to growl at the man in the tree.

"Do you know this dog?" Ashley asked.

"Yes," the guy said, his voice a little weak.

"What's his name?"

"Duggan."

"Here, Duggan. C'mon buddy, let's go back home," Ashley called to the dog, in a sing-songy voice.

Duggan looked at her again.

"C'mon, Duggan. You need to go home, Duggan. I don't wanna have to spray you with a fire extinguisher," Ashley said, her voice very soft and sweet.

Duggan kept looking at her.

"C'mon Duggan." Ashley started moving toward the pen near the side of the house.

Duggan looked at the man, but then back at Ashley.

"Why did he attack you?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know, the dog's crazy," the guy answered.

Ashley looked over at the house, quickly taking in details of the structure. She leaned over and picked up a ball. "Look, Duggan, is this your ball?" Ashley set the fire extinguisher down in the grass and tossed the ball up in the air, then caught it.

She watched Duggan watch the ball. She tossed it up in the air a few more times. Duggan took a step toward her.

Ashley tossed the ball and Duggan chased after it. Ashley bent down, clapping her hands. "Good boy, good Duggan," Ashley praised him. "Bring me the ball."

Duggan brought the ball back to Ashley and dropped it in front of her. She picked it up and tossed it into the pen. Duggan chased after the ball. Ashley moved quickly, shutting the door to the pen as soon as she could. The lock had been twisted and didn't look like it was going to hold. Ashley held it with one hand and leaned down to grab some rope that was on the ground. Ashley used it to tie the door shut.

She turned and quickly moved back toward the victim. Kyle had gotten out of the squad and was actually helping get the victim out of the tree. The man was barely conscious. Ashley could quickly see she was right, the blood was pumping out of the wound, the bite had knicked an artery.

Ashley quickly hooked up the biophone, but when she went to connect with Rampart, Kyle grabbed the receiver out of her hand. "Put pressure on the wound," he ordered.

Ashley looked at him briefly, but moved over to put pressure on the wound. She listened as Kyle gave the patient's vitals. When he had finished giving his orders, Kyle and Ashley quickly worked to stabilize the patient.

A police officer walked up and knelt down beside them. "Do we know what happened here?"

Kyle shook his head no.

"I think he was trying to break into that house," Ashley said.

"What?" Kyle looked stunned at her statement. "He knew the dog. It's the middle of the day and there are people around. No one is that stupid."

"It's probably why he figured he could get away with it. He probably knows the owners, has been seen around here before, so people would just think he was doing work on the window. The screen on the middle front window has been removed," Ashley said. "There was a rope and glass cutter on the lawn by the dog pen. The glass has a small cut, near the lock, like someone was trying to get the window open. The dog obviously broke out of the pen."

"You're outta line. You're not a police officer, stick to your job," Kyle reprimanded her.

The police officer ignored Kyle. "I'll look into it, thanks for the tip."

Kyle signaled for the ambulance attendants to bring over the gurney. They quickly loaded the patient and moved toward the ambulance.

"Don't forget the fire extinguisher," Kyle said, giving her a harsh look as he got into the ambulance, yanking the door out of her hand and closing it.

Ashley took a step back and watched as the ambulance pulled away. She slowly walked over and picked up the fire extinguisher. She loaded their equipment in the squad and got in to meet Kyle at the hospital.

E

Kyle stepped out of the ambulance and saw Johnny and Roy exiting the hospital. "Hey Gage, can you wait a minute?"

Johnny nodded. "Whatdya think he wants?" He asked Roy.

Roy shrugged. "If we've got a minute though, I'm gonna go call Joanne and tell her you and Ashley are on for dinner tomorrow night." Roy moved back into the hospital as Kyle was coming back out.

"You had better get that girlfriend of yours under control," Kyle said, his tone angry.

"What happened?" Johnny asked, not sure what was going on.

"I gave her a direct order and she completely ignored it. She almost got herself mauled by a vicious dog," Kyle said, his tone seething. "I don't know what kinda unit you've got over at 51, but at 24, we follow orders. Captain Reagan will boot her from the station so quick her head will spin."

"Ashley's very respectful of authority," Johnny said, but he couldn't help think about the times she had disobeyed Captain Stanley when she first arrived at the station. But, there hadn't been any issues since she'd come back after her time in the hospital.

"We've all heard the stories about Ashley, Johnny, you're not protecting her by not being honest."

"I'm being honest," Johnny said. "She had a few issues in the beginning, but she's worked through all that."

"I'm gonna talk to her, a verbal reprimand, but you better get it through her head if she pulls a stunt like that again, she'll be looking for a new career."

Johnny and Kyle turned to watch as Ashley backed the squad into the space next to Squad 51.

"Hi, guys," Ashley said, getting out of the squad.

"Do you have the supply list, we need to restock," Kyle said, his tone still angry.

Ashley grabbed the list and followed Kyle as he headed into Rampart. She looked at Johnny as she passed him, but couldn't read his expression.

"Be safe," was all Johnny said.

"What was that all about?" Roy asked, as he stopped beside Johnny.

"Kyle says Ashley disobeyed a direct order and almost got herself mauled by a dog. Do you think she's reverting to old behaviors? Cap said that when Ashley was in the hospital and he talked to Dr. Baker, she had said there was no way of telling how Ashley would handle the stress of the job. Do you think it's making her reckless again?"

Roy thought about it for a minute. "I think you need to hear Ashley's side."

Johnny slid into the squad, and leaned his elbow against the door, resting his head in his hand. He was thinking about the first time Ashley had disobeyed Captain Stanley, she'd been running over to help Roy carry a victim. It hadn't been a bad action, but the fact she had disobeyed the Captain had been the issue. Johnny wasn't sure that Ashley wouldn't disobey an order again, if she thought it was necessary to help someone. Truth be told, he and Roy had disobeyed an order or two in the beginning, trying to do what was right for their patient. It took time to learn how to balance the desire to care for people and honor their responsibilities to their patients, their team and leadership.

"Just talk to her, Johnny." Roy said, knowing where his partner's mind was going.

They did not see Kyle and Ashley again for the rest of their shift.

E

"Chet, you haven't said how things went with Mary's parents last night," Roy said, sitting down at the table for lunch.

Marco was serving up his famous chili.

"Oh, yeah, he did, you guys just missed it when you were out on a run," Marco said.

Johnny looked over at the expression on Marco's and Mike's faces. "That bad, huh?"

"Worse," Chet said, his voice dejected. "Her dad had a fit that I was there. Said the reason Lizzie was having problems was because Mary let me back into her life. I finally had to leave in the hope he'd listen to Mary."

"Did he?" Roy asked.

Chet shook his head no. "Mary called me after they left. She said she told her dad that the drinking and the drugs were her idea, that she had come up with the plan to spike the punch and bake marijuana into the brownies for the dance; but he didn't believe her. He said she was just trying to cover for me. He told her she is not to have anything to do with me, or they'll disown her."

Johnny let out a low whistle.

"Pretty bad," Roy agreed.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do," Chet said.

Even Johnny didn't try to tease him about the situation. Everyone knew Chet really liked Mary and Lizzie was his daughter.

"But, Mary said she intended to keep seeing you," Captain Stanley reminded him.

"Yeah, but now I'm breaking up a family. I don't wanna do that either."

"Give him time, Chet. Maybe he'll come around," Roy suggested.

The men sat and ate quietly for several minutes.

"This just sucks," Chet said, tossing his napkin on the table. "I've made a good life for myself. That man has no right to judge me for how I was 15 years ago. Like he's never made a mistake. First thing tomorrow, I'm driving to Fontana and I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind."

"Whoa, Chet, wait a minute, I don't think that's such a good idea," Roy cautioned.

"Yeah, man, that sounds like a way to make things a lot worse," Marco agreed with Roy.

"Why? I think Chet should stand up for himself," Johnny interjected. "Like this guy's never made a mistake. I think Chet'll be proving he's not a kid anymore."

The klaxons sounded ending the conversation. The men stayed busy most of the day and did not pick the discussion back up as a group. Although each man found time to give Chet their individual opinion throughout the rest of the shift.

The squad got called out early in the morning and didn't get back until after the rest of their shift mates had already left. Roy and Johnny walked into the locker room.

"Do you want to talk to her together tonight?" Roy asked as he changed into street clothes the next morning. Assuming correctly that Johnny would know he was talking about the conversation he needed to have with Ashley about disobeying Kyle.

Johnny shook his head. "No, I think I should talk to her myself."

"But, you're still coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll try to talk to her before we come over."

"Good luck," Roy said, heading home.

E

"Roy, Ashley's here," Joanne opened the sliding door, allowing Ashley to step out onto the deck. Roy was just starting the grill.

"Hey, I thought you were coming over with Johnny," Roy said, watching Joanne step back into the house and close the door to give them some privacy.

"I needed to talk to you, and was hoping to keep Johnny out of the conversation."

"Partners are like spouses, Ashley. I don't hide things from Johnny, any more than I hide them from Joanne."

"I'm not hiding it from him Roy, it's just…," Ashley hesitated. "Johnny, like Mike, feels the need to protect me. He's gonna just instantly want to step in and handle it. I need to know if I was wrong before Johnny gets all worked up."

"You think you did something wrong?" Roy asked, knowing what Kyle had told Johnny.

"No. I think I made the right call; but Kyle gave me a verbal reprimand and said if I ever pull a stunt like that again, he'll report me to Captain Reagan for a formal reprimand."

"Why don't you just tell me what happened, Ashley."

"Before I tell you what happened today, I need to tell you what happened on our shift before this last one," Ashley sat down and looked at Roy.

"Okay," Roy sat down across from her.

"We were on a run for a guy who had gotten his hand caught in a floor drain. We'd gotten him out, he signed the waiver not to go to the hospital and we were leaving the scene. A little girl was riding her bike down the sidewalk and fell. It wasn't a bad fall, I saw her do it, she didn't hit her head, but she skinned her knee and elbow and I'm sure it scared her. There was no parent in sight. I moved to go over and check on her. I was just gonna calm her down, clean her scrape and give her a Band-Aid. Kyle lost it, he told me she wasn't our victim and ordered me to get in the squad. The little girl was sitting on the ground, all alone, bawling her eyes out. When I hesitated, he told me he was the senior paramedic and I'd better follow his order."

Ashley stood up and paced on the deck. "I can still see her face and hear her crying."

"I don't understand; why didn't Kyle go check on her? That doesn't seem unreasonable to me," Roy said, shaking his head.

"I don't know. When I asked him later, his only answer was he's the senior paramedic, and it's my job to listen to him. That's what I was carrying with me yesterday when we started our shift," Ashley moved to sit back down.

"We got called out for a man bitten by a dog. When we got there, there was a man pinned in a tree by a very upset Bullmastiff. The dog was easily 120 lbs. and mad as all get out, barking, growling. Kyle told me to wait for Animal Control; the ETA was 10 minutes. I would have just waited, but I was almost positive I could see the blood spurting from his neck. I was sure the dog had knicked an artery, and I was right by the way," Ashley said in defense of herself.

Roy just looked at her.

"Anyway, I told Kyle I'd see you deal with a dog by spraying it with air from an air tank. I suggested we get on our turnouts, grab air tanks and try to get the dog back in his pen. I told him the guy wouldn't make it 10 minutes. He was pale and had already lost a lot of blood. Kyle told me to wait," Ashley stood up again.

"I couldn't do it, Roy. I couldn't wait and risk that guy dying without even trying. I got out of the squad, put on my turnout and grabbed the fire extinguisher. I know dogs, I'm good with them; and Bullmastiffs aren't usually vicious. I was right, I was able to get the dog in his pen pretty easily. The guy had been trying to break into the house, the police came to the station later that night and confirmed it. That's why the dog attacked him. But, that was something else that Kyle was mad at me about. He said we aren't policemen, my job was with the fire department and I'd better remember that or I wouldn't have a job."

Ashley turned to look out over the yard, unable to face Roy as she asked the next question. "Was I wrong, Roy? I know I disobeyed an order, but I couldn't in good conscience not at least try to get to the victim."

Roy stayed silent for a few minutes. The wait for Ashley was excruciating. She trusted Roy, respected his opinion. She looked up to him.

"I would've done the same thing."

Ashley let out a sigh of relief. She turned to face him. "You would have?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean it still wasn't disobeying an order. Kyle is the senior paramedic, and in that role he gets to make the judgement calls. But, I'm curious why he made that one. Or especially the one with the little girl. I've worked with him in the past and neither incident sounds like him. If something like that went to the Captain Stanley, I know he wouldn't write you up. He may pull you into his office and remind you about chain of command, but honestly, he'd pull Kyle in too. I don't know Captain Reagan enough though to even guess what he'd do, and it's a risk to your career."

"I couldn't sit back and do nothing Roy. I just…," Ashley's eyes grew dark. "There've been too many times in my life where I just had to stand there and watch horrible things happen and I couldn't do anything about them. I could do something about this. I had to try."

Roy stood up and walked over to her, he slipped his arm around her shoulders. "You need to tell Johnny."

"You think he'll be able to be as calm about it as you are?"

Roy shook his head. "Nope, he's gonna want to punch Kyle out for not getting outta the squad with you and for not helping the little girl."

Ashley smiled. "I love that about him. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was wrong."

"You don't want Johnny going off all half-cocked on Kyle, if he was right."

"I don't want to revert back to my previous bad behavior."

"Are you worried you might?"

"In one of my sessions with Dr. Baker, before I applied to the academy, I asked her if I was cured from my reckless attitude. My feeling of inferiority and the guilt I felt over Maddie's death. She told me that I was on a good road, but that no one could predict how I would handle the stress of the job. She thought it was good that I'd done so well working with you and Johnny, but that a new partner was going to be one more stressor. She told me I'd have to be diligent in watching myself. I feel like I'm okay, but I disobeyed an order. I needed an impartial party to make a judgement call. One who knew the person I was before."

Roy tightened his arm and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her temple. "I think you're doing great, Ash. But, I'll keep an eye on you, if you're worried."

"Thanks."

"Roy."

Roy stood up straighter and removed his arm from Ashley, instantly put on alert by the tone in Joanne's voice.

Captain Johnson appeared beside Joanne, another Captain and two men in MP uniforms directly behind them.

"I'm sorry, Roy," Captain Johnson said.

"What's goin' on?" Ashley asked, instinctively trying to move in front of Roy.

Roy touched her arm and moved her back beside him.

"Roy DeSoto, I'm Captain Matthew Parker, the prosecutor on this case. I'm here to inform you that have you have been charged with the murder of Scott Kramer. MP, will you please read Mr. DeSoto his Article 31 rights."

The MP moved forward and started advising Roy of his rights. The second MP moved forward removing handcuffs from the pocket on his belt.

"Matt, c'mon," Captain Johnson spoke up.

Captain Parker held up his hand. "Those won't be necessary."

"Roy, no one thinks you're a flight risk. Charges are going to be preferred and I've requested you be released on your own recognizances. You'll be home in time to sleep in your own bed," Captain Johnson said.

Captain Parker stepped back while an MP took Roy by the arm and started to move him back into the house.

"Roy!" Joanne grabbed his arm.

"Ashley," Roy looked over at Ashley, as he freed his arm from Joanne's grasp.

Ashley moved forward and grabbed Joanne's hand.

"Can't you do something?" Joanne looked at Ashley.

Ashley just shook her head.

They followed the two Captains, MPs and Roy through the living room. They'd almost made it to the front door when Chris started coming down the stairs.

"Dad!" He screamed, running down the stairs and throwing himself at the MPs before Joanne or Ashley could stop him. He started hitting them with his fists.

Joanne finally was able to get to him. "Chris, go upstairs."

"No, you can't let them take Dad, you can't!"

"Daddy?" Everyone turned to see Jenny standing on the stairs, her eyes wide with fright.

"Chris, Jennifer, everything's gonna be okay. I need you to go upstairs for me, right now," Roy said.

Chris and Jennifer moved back upstairs, but kept looking back. The group moved out of the house and toward the two cars parked in the street.

Joanne looked over as Johnny's Range Rover pulled into the driveway and he jumped out, slamming the door.

"What the…"

"Stand down, Junior," Roy said, looking over at Johnny.

Johnny kept moving toward the group. The MPs moved between him and Roy, their expression all business.

"Johnny, stop, that's an order," Roy raised his voice.

Johnny stopped, his hands clenched in tight fists.

"Can we follow you?" Joanne asked no one person in particular.

"Yes, you can follow me," Captain Johnson said.

Ashley looked over at Johnny. "I'll stay with the kids."

Johnny moved over and put his arm around Joanne's shoulder. He started leading her toward his vehicle.

"Keep me posted," Ashley called out after them.

Johnny looked back at her. He wished he could take a minute to hug her, she looked shaken, but Captain Johnson was already getting into his car. "I will. Call the guys."

"I will," Ashley said, grasping her hands together.

Ashley stood and watched the cars drive away. She moved back into the house and quickly up the stairs. She found Chris and Jennifer crying in Chris's room. She gathered the kids into her arms and held them tight.

"It's gonna be okay," Ashley whispered, knowing they needed the reassurance, even if she wasn't sure it was true.

"Is my daddy going to jail?" Chris asked.

"No," Ashley leaned her head against his. "He's gonna be home tonight."

"What did he do?" Jenny asked.

"Nothing," Ashley said. "It's just a misunderstanding. They'll get it worked out."

Chris and Jenny both looked at her.

"Why don't we bake your dad a cake. He'll need something special when he gets home."

The kids took her at her word and instantly got excited about making a cake. Ashley followed slowly behind them as they ran downstairs toward the kitchen. She hoped they never had a reason to call her a liar.


	4. Chapter 4

"I thought you said this would never go to court?" Roy asked, Captain Johnson, before he even managed to sit down in the chair across from him.

"Roy, have you heard anything about the protests that have been taking place at VA hospitals in several areas across the country?"

Roy shook his head.

"The Society for the Right to Die has been protesting in front of VA hospitals across the country. Their message has been the military will send their soldiers to die for the cause, but won't allow them to die with dignity when the injuries they sustain in battle are robbing them of any quality of life. They've got these disgusting slogans "Better hope you die for your Country, because if you live, they make you suffer." Or my favorite, "The US military values your life, as long as you're suffering". It's been going on for a couple of months."

"What does that have to do with me?" Roy asked.

"The military has to make a statement about assisted suicide, about suicide in general."

"What statement do they want to make?"

"That the United States military does not in any way condone soldiers committing suicide, or assisting other soldiers in committing suicide."

"So they're looking to prosecute me to make me an example."

"I'm not going to let that happen," Captain Johnson said.

"How do you intend to stop them?" Roy asked.

"I don't know…yet."

Roy felt a sense of dread sweep over his body. "If they want to make an example out of me, you won't be able to stop them," Roy said quietly.

E

"Why did Roy ask me to leave the room?"

Johnny looked over at Joanne. He'd been staring at the same page of a magazine for the last 20 minutes.

"When Captain Johnson first came to our house and told Roy about the accusations, he asked for Roy's side of the story. Roy asked me to go upstairs."

"He probably didn't want to upset you."

"Because he killed him?"

"What?" Johnny looked over at Joanne, complete shock on his face.

"Roy hates to see anyone suffer. I heard the details Dennis Kramer provided about his brother's death. It sounds like the guy was in agony. Roy never talks about the war, any of it. I know he saw some really horrible things. We talked quite a bit about suicide when Ashley tried to kill herself. Roy empathized with how she could see that as her only way out. He never said he agreed with suicide, but he wasn't adamantly against it as being a horrible thing to do. Could Roy have helped him die?" Joanne asked, turning to meet Johnny's eyes.

Johnny was spared from having to answer by the door opening and Roy entering the room.

"Roy!" Joanne stood up and wrapped her arms around her husband.

"I'm okay," Roy reassured her.

Captain Johnson walked out behind him.

"Is he free to go?" Johnny asked.

"Yes, Roy isn't being held, he's free to go home and back to work until the trial," Captain Johnson explained.

"And when will that be?" Joanne asked, wondering how long this was going to hang over their heads.

"The Judge Advocate General office wants this case heard as soon as possible. My guess is we will be in court in 2-3 months."

"2 or 3 months?" Johnny looked shocked.

"How can we live with this hanging over our heads for that long?" Joanne asked, the idea of living every day worrying that Roy was going to be sent to jail overwhelming.

"It'll go a lot faster than you think," Captain Johnson warned. "We need to develop our defense strategy, and then figure out how to present it in a way that wins the case."

"You can do that right?" Johnny asked, looking between Roy and Captain Johnson.

"Of course we will," Captain Johnson said, but not with the certainty that Roy, Joanne and Johnny all needed to hear.

E

"Thank God," Roy said quietly, as they pulled up to his house.

"What?" Johnny asked, immediately feeling himself tense up and start looking around for trouble.

"I'm just glad all the guys aren't here waiting for me," Roy said, seeing that Ashley's car was the only one at his house.

Johnny briefly wondered why the guys weren't here. Ashley was supposed to call them.

They entered the house and were immediately pounced on by Jenny and Chris. "Dad!"

"Hey, guys, what are you still doing up?" Roy asked, looking at the clock, it was just past 8:30 PM, well past their bedtime.

"We didn't want to go to bed until we knew you were home," Chris pouted.

"Aunt Ashley helped us make you a cake, she said we could have a piece with you when you got home," Jenny added.

"You are home now, right, Dad?" Chris looked worried.

"Yeah, son, I'm home now," Roy said, kneeling down and opening his arms, so he could hug both his kids.

"Why don't Johnny and I go cut the cake and pour glasses of milk. You guys go out on the deck and we'll bring it out to you," Ashley suggested.

The DeSoto's moved outside and Ashley moved over and took plates out of the cupboard.

"Why didn't you call the guys?" Johnny asked, his tone a bit angry.

Ashley looked a little hurt at his accusation that she hadn't called the guys like he asked. "I did. Of course, they all wanted to come over, but I didn't know how long it would be and I honestly didn't think Roy would want everyone here when he got home. We're all going over to Captain Stanley's tomorrow night so we can brainstorm what to do."

"Sorry," Johnny said, leaning over and kissing Ashley on the cheek. He remembered they hadn't gotten to talk about the issue with the dog and her disobeying Kyle, but he honestly didn't have the energy to even think about having that conversation tonight.

"It's okay," Ashley gave him a smile, she knew this had to be incredibly stressful for Johnny too. Roy was like his brother and she knew that Johnny would personally suffer during this process too. "Can you grab me the tray off the top of the fridge. We can put the milk and cake on it."

"So what's the next move?" Johnny asked, after Chris and Jennifer had gone to bed.

Roy shrugged. He felt way too tired to think about it tonight.

"I think we should talk to Dixie," Johnny suggested.

"Why Dixie?" Joanne asked.

"She served in Korea, maybe she'll know of another situation similar to this and how it was handled," Johnny said.

"And Dr. Brackett, he's gonna have the most information about the AMA's stance on assisted suicide," Ashley said.

"AMA?" Joanne looked over at her.

"American Medical Association," Roy explained. "Guys, I really appreciate all your ideas and you being here; but the simple truth, if the U.S. Military wants to make an example out of me against suicide or assisted suicide, there isn't anything anyone can say or do to save me."

Roy stood up and walked inside, slowly trudging up the stairs to his bedroom.

Ashley, Johnny and Joanne just looked at each other.

"Today's just been a lot," Johnny said. "He'll be better tomorrow and we can formulate a plan."

Joanne stood up, her attention on the house.

"Go ahead, Joanne," Ashley said, standing up. "Johnny and I will clean this up and let ourselves out."

Johnny and Ashley quickly washed the plates and glasses, dried them and put them away. Johnny flipped the lock as they let themselves out. He turned and Ashley stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her cheek against his chest.

Johnny wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. They stood there for several minutes. "Come home with me, Ashley," Johnny whispered, his voice almost inaudible. "I don't wanna sleep alone tonight."

Ashley looked up at him, her uncertainty must have been visible in her eyes because he quickly added, "I just want to hold you."

Ashley nodded and let Johnny take her by the hand and lead her to her car. He opened her door and let her get in. "I'll follow you," Ashley assured him.

Johnny nodded. He closed her door and walked to his Rover.

E

Joanne walked into the bedroom and reached for the light switch. She hesitated just momentarily, looking at her husband laying in the bed they'd shared for almost a decade now. He was laying on his side, his back to her. Joanne knew that meant he didn't want to talk, his thoughts too dark to share. She'd seem him assume this sleeping position after many shifts over the years. While he never gave her details of the bad runs, they had at least learned their own way of communicating when life threw too much at them.

Joanne switched off the light and walked to the bed. She slid off her slippers and climbed under the covers. She reached over and tugged at Roy's arm, breaking the normal pattern of allowing him his space to process the dark thoughts. He turned, surprised at her touch. She kept tugging until he had turned over and was facing her. Joanne slid closer and wrapped her arms around Roy, pressing her body tightly against his.

"I love you, my husband," she whispered, tucking her head into the crevice between his neck and shoulder.

Roy wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. "I love you, my wife."

Roy forced himself to lay like that until Joanne was deeply asleep. He carefully maneuvered her back to her side of the bed, and extricated himself from her arms. Roy slipped out of bed and quietly padded down the stairs. He opened the fridge and pulled out a can of beer. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the deck. The sky was dark and he briefly wished he was at one of the many isolated camping spots he frequently visited with Johnny, so he could actually see stars.

Roy tried to imagine life at the end of this nightmare, but he just couldn't. Every time he tried to imagine this being over, it ended with him sitting in prison. Roy drained the can of beer and turned to look at the house, his gaze on the upstairs windows. What would his family do, if he got put in jail and wasn't there to take care of them? Joanne was smart and capable, but she'd never worked outside of the home. And what would happen to Chris and Jennifer? A boy needs his dad, Roy thought. And he wanted to be around to intimidate the boys that would eventually be lining up to date his pretty little girl.

Roy crushed the can in his hand, surprising himself by the movement. How on earth was he going to survive 3 months of this uncertainty? Roy wished they were on shift tomorrow, at least on shift he could concentrate on his work and not worry about his future.

E

"Have a seat," Dr. Brackett waved Ashley and Johnny to the chairs in front of his desk.

"So, you've heard?" Johnny asked, taking in the tense look on Dr. Brackett's face.

"Unfortunately, I have," Dr. Brackett said, sitting down behind his desk and looking at Johnny and Ashley.

"We were thinking that maybe you could meet with Captain Johnson and help give him some ideas for Roy's defense," Johnny said hopefully.

Dr. Brackett sighed deeply. "I'm afraid I have a much more imminent case I need to win first, Johnny."

"What do you mean?"

"The Paramedic Board is meeting next week to discuss whether or not to place Roy on administrative leave until this case is settled. I was just about to call Roy, until they meet next week, he can't operate as a paramedic."

"What!" Johnny leaped to his feet. "You can't do that!"

"Johnny, sit down," Dr. Brackett said.

"No! You know Roy is an exceptional paramedic, he gives his all to his patients. How can you even think of removing him from the program?"

"Johnny, I don't want that to happen. Trust me, I'll be going to bat for Roy. But there are concerns about how this impacts the program. We've come too far to let bad publicity from this situation negatively impact the paramedic program."

"So Roy gets thrown to the wolves," Johnny said, running a hand through his hair.

"I'll do everything I can for him, Johnny. You know I think the world of Roy, as more than just a great paramedic, but as a person of integrity. He's not just someone I work with, he's a friend."

"Then act like it!"

"Johnny," Ashley finally spoke up.

Johnny sat back down and dropped his head into his hands. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"I know how hard this is for you, Johnny. And you have my word, I'll do everything I can to help Roy."

"When are you going to tell him?" Ashley asked.

"I'm gonna call him as soon as we finish our conversation," Dr. Brackett said.

Ashley rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache starting.

"We'd better pass the word to the guys before our get together tonight," Ashley whispered to Johnny.

He simply nodded. He didn't think things could get any worse.

E

Roy turned off the engine, but didn't move to get out of the car. Joanne just looked at him.

"Roy?"

"I don't wanna go in there," Roy said, quietly looking at Captain Stanley's house. He knew all the guys were already here, judging by the cars parked in the driveway and street.

"They're your friends, your crewmates," Joanne said, touching his arm.

"Not anymore."

"Roy, it's temporary. You've always told me Dr. Brackett is tenacious. He'll get you reinstated," Joanne tried to be encouraging and hoped her own fear didn't resonate in her voice.

Roy ran his hands over his face. He hated being like this, but he just couldn't see a silver lining and he couldn't imagine this ending well for him and his family. "I just don't have it in me to go in there and pretend that I think everything is gonna be okay."

"They don't want you to be fake, Roy. They want to support you, exactly where you are."

Roy let out a sigh. "Let's just get this over with."

They walked up the walk side by side. Joanne lifted her hand to knock, but Johnny opened the door before her hand made contact with the wood.

"Hey, guys, glad you made it," He opened the door and stepped back, so they could enter the house.

Roy walked in and the other guys quickly filed into the room, moving to shake his hand and slap him on the back. Joanne quickly found herself embraced by Beth Stanley. The men led Roy outside to a game of horseshoes, while the ladies pulled Joanne into the kitchen.

"How are you holding up?" Beth asked her.

Joanne looked around the room. Tina and Ashley were sitting at the table chopping various vegetables for a salad. Marisol was making iced tea and Mary was finishing up the potato salad with the help of Lizzie. She wasn't sure how open she wanted to be. She knew all of these women, but was only really close to Beth. She was getting to know Ashley quite a bit better because of her relationship with Johnny, but they still weren't what Joanne would consider to be friends, at least not close ones. Tina had been dating Mike for quite some time, so they had spent some time together and she really liked Tina's level-headed nature. But, she had only spent a few hours total with Marisol and Mary and Lizzie was just a child.

"I'm okay," Joanne said.

"We can step out," Marisol said, picking up on Joanne's hesitation.

"Absolutely," Mary said, grabbing a towel to wipe off her hands.

Joanne shook her head. "No, no, that's not necessary. You're all important to the men that are most important to Roy."

Joanne looked out into the yard, she watched briefly as Roy threw a horseshoe.

"It's tough," she said, her voice rough with emotion. "Dr. Brackett called Roy today and told him he's suspended until the committee meets to discuss his case. There's a chance he won't be able to work until this case is settled."

Joanne looked around, none of the women looked shocked. "You heard."

"Johnny and I let the guys know after we left Dr. Brackett's office. We didn't want Roy to have to tell them," Ashley explained.

"Roy's just so upset. He was looking forward to going to work to get his mind off all this, and now he can't even work."

"Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but why won't they let him work?" Mary asked.

"Appearances," Marisol said. "If Roy is convicted of murdering this man, the publicity for the Los Angeles County Paramedic program and Fire Service would be terrible."

"So it has nothing to do with their believing he's actually guilty, or not competent to do his job, but completely based on publicity," Mary said, shaking her head.

"Exactly," Ashley said.

"What do you think is gonna happen at the Committee meeting?" Tina asked Ashley.

Ashley looked at Joanne when she answered. "I don't know. I've actually not gone before the Committee yet; they'll review my performance in a couple of months. But, I do know that Dr. Brackett is completely on Roy's side and I do trust him."

Joanne looked at Beth. "What happens if they convict him? What happens to the kids and I?" A tear silently slid down Joanne's cheek.

All the women got up from where they sat and circled around Joanne in a big group hug.

"We won't let that happen," Ashley said, needing to believe her own words.

Marisol met Ashley's eyes and frowned. She wasn't so sure this was going to turn out so well. She'd done some asking around when Marco had called her and told her about the situation. She worked with several former military people. None of them had been very optimistic.

E

"I made an appointment with Barney Olsen for the day after our next shift," Johnny said.

"No," Roy said.

"Whatdya mean no?"

"Captain Johnson is my defense attorney," Roy said.

"I asked Barney, he said you can have a civilian lawyer too."

"It's a waste of money."

"Roy."

"Johnny, stop! All of you, just stop!" Roy tossed the horseshoe down. "Look," Roy ran a hand through his hair. "I appreciate everything you guys are trying to do. I just…look, it's unlikely this is gonna turn out well for me; you guys should keep your distance."

His statement was met with a round of "no ways" and "not a chance" from all the guys.

"We'll figure something out, Roy. You can't give up," Captain Stanley said.

"We're all behind you, Roy. We'll do whatever it takes to help you," Mike said.

Chet looked over at Roy, "Did you do it?"

"Chet!" Johnny turned to glare at him.

"What? I'm sorry, but here we're all saying we're behind him and will help him, but what are we helping? Are we trying to find a way to convince these people Roy would never give someone too much pain medication to put them out of their misery? Or are we trying to convince them that overdosing him was the right thing to do?"

"Roy would not give someone too much pain medicine in order to end their life," Marco said.

"Why not? If there was no chance the guy's gonna live, what's wrong with helping end his suffering," Chet said.

"It's wrong," Marco said.

"Says who?" Chet said.

"The Bible," Marco said.

"It's not taking a life, if he's dying from his injuries. It's ending his suffering," Chet argued.

"It's murder," Marco argued.

Roy watched the scene in front of him develop into chaos. He turned at the noise behind him and realized the women had joined the group.

"What's going on here?" Beth Stanley asked.

"It appears we have a slight disagreement on if giving someone too much pain medication to help someone pass quicker is murder or mercy," Captain Stanley stated.

"It's murder," Marco said.

"Mercy," Chet argued.

Voices began to rise as each person argued their belief.

Joanne looked at Roy. "You gave him too much pain medication on purpose?" Everyone stopped arguing and looked at Roy.

Roy looked at her. "I never said that."

"Well, did you?" Chet asked.

"Captain Johnson has advised me not to talk to anyone about what happened that day," Roy said. "I didn't really understand that order until just now. Look at us," Roy waved his hand, encompassing the group.

Everyone looked around. The group had split into two groups, with the exception of Johnny, who stood next to Roy and Joanne in the middle of the group and Ashley who stood off to the side by herself.

"This case hasn't even started and it's pitting us against each other," Roy pointed out.

"Roy, what's your position?" Chet asked.

"Does it change whether or not you support him?" Ashley asked.

"No," Chet said.

"Then does it matter?" Ashley asked. Each person looked around, but no one answered.

"No," Captain Stanley finally said. "We all trust Roy with our lives every shift, we trust each other with our lives," he corrected. "I am sure that the decision Roy made was the best decision he could make under the circumstances."

"Me too," Chet said.

"Agreed, and we'll figure out how to get anyone on that jury to feel the same way," Marco agreed.

"So how do we do that?" Mike asked.

"Didn't anyone else see how bad the guy was injured?" Chet asked. "I mean, there's a lot of men around, they would have noticed someone with that severe an injury."

"Yes, and the men that had been present in that battle were all questioned. The problem is that none of them were in the foxhole with me, Scott and Todd. They had moved forward trying to reclaim the area. Those that saw Scott all agreed that his injuries were too severe to sustain life; but that's what actually caused me the biggest trouble. Captain Johnson believe the prosecution is going to argue that because I knew death was imminent, I intentionally overdosed him to end his pain and suffering."

"So, does he want to try to convince them that you did not do that, or that it was the appropriate thing to do?"

"The military wants to make a stance against assisted suicide, so the only chance we have at keeping me out of prison is to convince them I was not trying to end his life. Captain Johnson wants to convince them I made an error in judgement with the amount of pain medication I administered."

"That should be pretty easy to do," Chet said.

"Except there goes his career," Johnny said.

"Why?" Mary asked.

"He's a paramedic that treats patients in the field. If he says he made a mistake that killed someone they'll remove him from the program to avoid the bad publicity," Tina said.

"And even Dr. Brackett won't be able to save him," Ashley added.

"So what's the truth?" Joanne asked. "What really happened that day?"

Everyone looked toward Roy.

"Let's sit down and have dinner and I'll tell you all the story," Roy said.

He waited until the end of the meal. Then he put it off even longer, by recommending they clean up and move inside for coffee.

The group settled in the Stanley living room. Captain Stanley and Beth sat on the love seat, his arm casually around her shoulders. Chet and Mary sat in chairs that they had pulled in from the kitchen table. Lizzie had moved upstairs to hang out with the Stanley girls. Marisol, Marco, Mike and Tina shared the couch. Johnny sat on the floor leaning against the edge of the couch, Ashley sat between his legs, leaning back against him. Joanne sat in the recliner, Roy perched on the edge, unable to sit still.

"Roy, it doesn't matter what you say, we're all behind you," Johnny assured him.

Roy looked around the room. He sighed. "Joanne, maybe you should go up and check on the kids."

"Roy, you can't keep hiding this from me," she took his hand, but made it very clear she wasn't moving.

"I just want to protect you from these images."

"And I want to protect you. To do that I need to know what we are facing."

"The platoon was under heavy attack from the Viet Kong. Dennis and his brother Scott were hit by a grenade. Dennis had taken shrapnel to the head, but I knew he'd be okay. Scott was another story. Honestly, I was stunned he was still alive when I got there," Roy launched into his recollection of the event. This time though, he went into this thoughts and emotions during the event, giving his friends much more detail than he had provided Captain Johnson in the initial discussion.

When Roy finished everyone just sat there, not sure what to say. The scene he had painted was difficult to process. The group broke up shortly after. Everyone still unsure how to proceed with Roy's defense. Did his actions qualify as assisted suicide?


	5. Chapter 5

"Who are they getting to replace Roy today?" Marco asked, as he joined Mike and Captain Stanley in the kitchen.

"It better not be Brice, I don't think Johnny could handle it," Mike joked.

"It's not Brice," Captain Stanley said. "They're sending Bellingham."

"I'm not sure that's much better," Marco laughed.

"I still can't believe they won't let Roy work," Mike said.

"The Committee meets at the end of next week. It's like 4 shifts we're gonna have to replace him. That's a lot of extra overtime," Marco said.

"Let's hope it's not more," Captain Stanley said, voicing what all of them were trying not to think.

Bellingham walked into the dayroom, wiping a drop of mustard on his shirt as he walked through the room toward the locker room. "Hey, fellas."

The group just watched him walk through. Captain Stanley shook his head.

Johnny walked in a few minutes later. He was walking toward the locker room as Chet exited. "Your new partner's here," he teased Johnny.

"It's not a new partner, he's just covering until Roy gets back," Johnny snipped at him.

"Well, you're gonna have a fun day today," Chet smiled.

"Tell me it's not Brice," Johnny said, dread in his voice.

Chet just smiled and moved toward the kitchen.

Johnny looked back at the locker room door and felt a sense of dread wash over him. He slowly pushed open the door and peaked his head in. Bellingham was just closing the locker door.

"Hey, Bob," Johnny said, walking toward his locker. Bob was better than Craig Brice. He was a bit of slob, but overall a nice guy and a good paramedic.

"Hey, Johnny. Sorry to hear about the problems Roy's facing. Do you think they'll remove him from the paramedic program?"

"No!" Johnny's voiced raised. He shook his head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I certainly hope not."

"Betcha Ashley wishes she coulda been teamed up with you; I hear she's having some issues over at 24s," Bob said, sitting down on the bench looking at Johnny.

"Who'd ya hear that from?" Johnny asked, as he slid his belt through the loops of his uniform pants.

"I ran into Jake Barker at Flames over the weekend. He said that Kyle was flipping out over some incident with a dog. Kyle was telling everyone that he was gonna whip her into shape no matter what it took."

"Whip her into shape?" Johnny asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's what Jake said, Kyle said."

Johnny and Bob moved into the bay for roll call. Johnny was still reprimanding himself for not talking to Ashley about the incident with the dog before this shift. He had intended to do it on their days off, but with everything that happened with Roy, he'd just forgotten all about his conversation with Kyle outside of Rampart.

"Squad 51, woman down, 694 Clinton Ave, cross street Romeo Drive. Time out 8:03."

Captain Stanley walked over and wrote down the address while Bob briefly looked at the map. Johnny slid into the driver's seat and took the address. He handed it to Bob. "Turn left," Bob directed as Johnny maneuvered the squad out of the bay.

They arrived on the scene to find an elderly woman laying on the grass between a sidewalk and a parking lot, a group of people surrounding her.

"Does anyone know what happened? Is she with anyone?" Johnny asked, as he approached the crowd. Bob was opening the squad compartments and withdrawing the drug box and oxygen.

"I know exactly what happened to me, young man, you can just talk to me," the old woman snapped.

"Ok, ma'am. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was walking along, minding my own business, when this young whipper snapper came speeding by on his bike, dragging a poor dog along with him. The dog ran right into me and knocked me to the ground," The young woman pointed to a teenager standing near a bike, a collie sitting next to him.

"That's not how it happened," the boy said. "I said, on your left, as I approached her. She moved to her left, right in front of me. I tried to swerve around her, but Bonnie couldn't get around her fast enough. She barely tapped her."

"Are you calling me a liar," the woman struggled to sit up. "And who names a dog Bonnie."

"Ma'am, ma'am, I need you to lie back for me," Johnny said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders and applying a bit of pressure to encourage her to lay back.

"I think her ankle's broken," Bellingham said, running his hand gently along the woman's foot, over her ankle and up her calf.

"Don't get fresh with me young man; I can still smack you with my cane," the old woman tried to reach her cane that was a few feet away.

Johnny stealthy moved it a few inches further away while her gaze was on Bellingham.

Johnny picked up her wrist and started counting her pulse.

"Now what are you doing," the woman swatted at his hand.

"Pulse is 80," Johnny advised him.

"Ma'am, I just need to take your blood pressure," Johnny advised, pulling out the BP cuff.

"You'll do no such thing," she said, pulling at the device.

"Ma'am, please, we're just trying to help you," Johnny pleaded with her.

"The hospital is gonna want this information," Bellingham added.

"Hospital, what hospital, there isn't a hospital near here and you're not doctors," the woman argued.

"No man, we're LA County Paramedics. We work with the Fire Department and we are authorized to provide medical care on site. We use that phone over there to call the hospital and a doctor confirms our treatment before we take you to the hospital," Johnny tried to explain.

"You call a hospital on that box? Are you looney?"

"No, ma'am," Johnny said, trying not to laugh. "If you'll let me take your blood pressure, we'll be ready to call the hospital and you can see for yourself."

"This I've got to see," the woman said extending her arm.

Johnny slipped the blood pressure cuff around her arm. "Do me a favor, just lay back and breathe normally."

Bellingham moved to hook up the biophone, as Johnny took the woman's blood pressure and checked her respirations.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, how do you read?" Bob turned on the biophone.

"Go ahead 51," Dixie responded.

"Rampart, we have a woman, approximately 74 years of age…"

"I'm 72, do you hear me, 72. Not, 74. How can you possibly think I'm 74," the woman struggled to sit up.

Johnny moved to try to get her to lie back again. "He's a horrible judge of age, ma'am. He thought I was 35 when we first met." That seemed to appease the woman and she leaned back as Johnny was requesting.

"Correction, Rampart, woman is 72 years old. She was tripped by a dog while walking. BP is 135/75, respirations are 12, and pulse is 80. Probable fracture to her right ankle, small hematoma on her left calf."

Dr. Brackett moved over next to Dixie as she took notes on the call.

"51, immobilize the leg and transport as soon as possible," Dr. Brackett gave the order.

"That's not a doctor," the woman said, struggling to sit up. "He doesn't sound like a doctor. You stop touching me this instant! I want a doctor."

"Rampart, patient is not convinced you're a doctor. Would you mind explaining your credentials," Bellingham requested.

Dr. Brackett looked at Dixie. "Did I seriously just get asked to verify my credentials by a patient over the biophone? What exactly is a doctor supposed to sound like?"

"Maybe you sound more like a cowboy," Dixie smirked.

Kel raised an eyebrow. "This is Dr. Kelly Brackett. I'm the medical director of Rampart Emergency."

"I don't believe him," the woman huffed.

"Well, ma'am, you can see for yourself when we get to the hospital," Johnny said. "The ambulance is here, if you'll let us splint your leg we can take you right there."

The woman looked at Johnny and then at the ambulance attendance that had exited the ambulance and were removing a stretcher.

"Well, okay, but you tell that man that I want to see his medical license," the woman said.

As Johnny splinted her leg, Bellingham relayed the information over the biophone.

"You've got to be kidding me," Dr. Brackett looked over at Dixie. She merely raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

E

"How's it going without Roy?" Dixie asked, as Johnny leaned against the nurse's station. Bellingham had gone to get some supplies. She looked from Johnny toward the exam room when Dr. Brackett flung open the door and started to stomp down the hallway.

Johnny watched him too, for a few seconds, before turning back to Dixie. "It seems unreal. Bob's a good guy, but I miss Roy. We just know what the other one is thinking, ya know."

Dixie started to laugh and Johnny looked startled at her reaction until he followed her gaze. Dr. Brackett was striding back down the hallway, his framed medical school diploma in his hands.

"See if she thinks this is a forgery," he mumbled under his breath as he passed them.

"Oh, Johnny, you do bring us the most interesting patients," Dixie laughed.

"I just hope he doesn't make me pay for this," Johnny joked back.

E

Roy gritted his teeth as he flipped over the hammer and tried to pull the nail out of the board that was refusing to go in straight. He threw the nail down on the ground and reached into the nearby mason jar pulling out another. He placed the tip of the nail against the board and slammed the hammer down on the head, hard. He yanked back his hand as the hammer hit the side of the nail, slipping and smashing his hand against the board.

He seriously considered throwing the hammer across the yard.

Joanne stepped back from the window and moved over to pick up the phone. She quickly dialed the number from heart.

"LA County Fire Station 51, Engineer Mike Stoker speaking."

"Hi, Mike. Is Johnny there?"

"Is this Joanne?"

"Yeah, I only have a second and I need to talk to Johnny."

Mike placed his hand over the receiver. "Gage, phone!"

Johnny came into the kitchen. "It's Joanne and she sounds stressed."

"Jo, everything okay?" Johnny asked, taking the phone from Mike.

"You have got to get Roy outta here on your days off. He needs to get away from this and de-stress before he completely comes unglued."

"You mean before he drives you insane and you kill him in his sleep," Johnny teased.

"Seriously, Johnny, he's gotta get way."

"Okay, Joanne. A friend of mine mentioned a great new fishing spot he found last month. I've been looking for a reason to go check it out. I'll call Roy in a little bit and invite him to go with me."

"Thanks, Johnny. I gotta go, he's coming in," Joanne quickly hung up the phone and moved toward the laundry room, so she wasn't near the phone when Roy walked in the back door. He was muttering under his breath.

"Everything okay?" Joanne called out.

Roy mumbled a little louder, but the words were still completely unintelligible.

"What are you trying to build out there?"

"A tree house."

Joanne paused from putting laundry into the washer and slowly walked into the kitchen where Roy was pouring a glass of milk. "A tree house?"

"Yeah."

"Roy," Joanne tried to keep her voice calm, but her voice definitely held an edge. "We agreed not to do a tree house for another couple of years. The kids are too young. I don't want them climbing that high into the tree; it's dangerous. You of all people know that."

"Well in a couple years I may still be sitting in a jail cell, Joanne. So, if not now, then it's never," Roy set the milk carton back on the counter hard enough milk splashed out the top.

Joanne flinched.

Roy dropped his head. "I'm sorry." Silence filled the house. Joanne and Roy stood looking at each other, neither one having the words to express what they were feeling.

The phone rang and Joanne jumped again at the sudden shrill sound.

Roy moved to pick up the receiver. "Hello, DeSoto residence."

"Hey, it's me," Johnny said.

"Oh, hey, Johnny."

Joanne turned and headed back to the laundry room, lest her face give away her part in the upcoming plan.

"Tony told me about this great new fishing spot last week. Whatdya say you and I take off as soon as I get off shift and spend a couple a days drowning some worms."

Roy looked toward the laundry room where Joanne had headed off. He knew instantly that she had a hand in this sudden invitation. But, he also knew in that instant that he desperately needed the escape she was offering.

"What about Ashley?"

Johnny didn't let himself think about the fact he'd be breaking plans with her. He knew she'd understand. "She's got a ton of stuff to do with Tina and the wedding," he said, guessing that is what she'd do with her sudden free time.

"Okay, sounds like a plan. I'll head over to your apartment and pack up your gear. Just come here as soon as you get off shift. Write me out some directions and you can sleep while I drive," Roy said, letting himself start to look forward to the trip away. There was a lot he needed to discuss with his partner.

Roy hung up the phone. He turned toward the laundry room and decided to let Joanne keep up the façade of this being Johnny's idea. "Hey, Jo, that was Johnny," Roy began, as he entered the laundry room. "Ashley's gotta do a lot of wedding stuff with Tina the next couple of days, which leaves Johnny at a loss for what to do. He's got a new fishing spot he'd like to check out. Would you mind if I took off tomorrow morning with him for his days off?"

Joanne turned to look at him. "What about the tree house?"

"You're right, the kids are too young. I'll make sure Johnny promises to build it if…" Roy let the rest of the sentence fade off.

Joanne moved toward him. "I refuse to believe you are going to end up in jail for this. You're going to tell your side of the story and everyone's gonna know you did the right thing."

Roy smiled at her and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. What if I'm not sure I did the right thing, Roy thought.

E

Captain Stanley jumped down from the Engine and surveyed the scene in front of him. The hotel was three stories, one entrance in the front and one entrance in the back. Smoke was pouring out from the second story windows and flames were visible in the first floor windows.

Captain Reagan moved over toward him. "I've sent the linesmen from 16 around to the back. I'm sending my rescue team in the back and up to the 2nd floor. Send your linesmen in the front and have your rescue team take the 3rd floor."

Captain Stanley nodded.

"Marco, Chet, pull a 2 ½ into the front entrance. Gage, Bellingham, 24s rescue team is clearing the second floor; you clear the third."

Johnny looked past Captain Stanley to see Ashley and Kyle jogging around the side of the building. He wouldn't have been a hundred percent positive it was them, except Ashley's turnout was still so new "James" stood out clearly on the back.

"Johnny, let's go," Bellingham said, pulling Johnny from his thoughts.

"You okay?" Marco asked as the foursome moved toward the front of the building.

"I know I helped her train to do this, but seeing Ashley running into a burning building is a lot different than thinking about her running into a burning building."

"She's got this, Johnny. We all made sure of that," Chet said, placing his hand on Marco's shoulder as they pushed through the door and entered the smoke filled building. It was pitch black just a few steps inside, they could feel the heat seeping into their bodies despite their turnouts, helmets and masks.

Marco adjusted the hose to call for water and instantly felt the line charge and jerk in his hands. He and Chet moved in a well-choreographed dance to attack the flames that ate at the building structure. Johnny and Bob moved toward the stairs, quickly making it to the second floor. Johnny glanced down the hall wondering if he'd catch a glimpse of Ashley; but he couldn't see very far down the hallway. He turned the corner and quickly took the next flight of stairs.

Bob pointed toward the left, indicating he'd take the left side of the hallway. Johnny nodded and moved to the first door on the right. He tried the door knob, but found it locked. He stepped back and kicked the door near the knob, splintering the lock easily. Johnny shoved the door open and moved into the room. The fire was starting to come through the floor near the exterior walls and the room had an orange haze as the light from the fire was distorted by the smoke. Johnny quickly cleared the room. As he moved back into the hallway, he pulled a white piece of chalk from his pocket and marked the door. He moved to the next hotel room and repeated the pattern as he moved from room to room.

Just before he entered the fifth room of seven, he saw Bellingham step back into the hallway and signal him. He quickly moved toward him. As he entered the motel room he saw two figures lying motionless on the bed. Bellingham moved and picked up the first victim, a young woman. Johnny moved to the far side of the bed and pulled the man up and over his shoulder. He followed Bellingham out of the motel room and down the stairway.

Jake and Joe from 24s were on the second floor and moved to make sure they had a clear path to Chet and Marco who made sure they were able to get the victims out the front door.

They quickly moved toward the yellow blankets that had been set up near the squad. Johnny laid down the guy and flipped his helmet off the back of his head, quickly removing his face mask. Captain Reagan moved over toward them. "Did you clear the floor?"

Bellingham shook his head. "One more room on the left, and two more rooms on the right."

Captain Reagan looked over at Kyle and Ashley. Kyle was starting an IV on his patient. "James, how's your patient?"

"Ready to transport, Cap," Ashley said, signaling the ambulance attendant to bring over the gurney.

Bellingham placed an oxygen mask on his patient and checked her pulse. She was breathing on her own and her pulse was strong. Johnny grabbed another oxygen tank from the engine and moved back toward his patient.

"Gage, can you handle these two?" Captain Reagan indicated the two victims on the ground.

"Yes, sir," Johnny answered.

"Bellingham and James, get back up to the third floor and finish checking those three rooms," Captain Reagan ordered.

"I'll go," Johnny said, standing up. "Ashley, you take over here."

"I'll decide who goes back into the building, Gage," Captain Reagan said, his tone icy. "Bellingham and James, go clear the third floor."

Ashley looked briefly over at Johnny and then grabbed her air tank, slipping it over her shoulders and onto her back. She adjusted her face mask and helmet as she moved toward the building next to Bellingham. When they got to the third floor he directed Ashley to the last room on the left and took over where Johnny had left off on the right.

"She's a good rescue person, Johnny. You need to relax and let her do her job," Kyle said, moving to lean against Squad 51, after Johnny loaded his patient into the ambulance.

Johnny gave him a quizzical look. "Didn't you just tell me she was causing problems?"

"No," Kyle said, looking over at him. "I told you she disobeyed an order and almost got herself hurt. There's a big difference. She's a good fire fighter, you guys taught her well. Let her do her job. Just make sure you're reinforcing that she's got to obey her seniors."

Kyle pushed away from the squad and started moving toward the hotel. Johnny turned to see Bellingham and Ashley coming out with three victims. Bellingham carried a woman in her mid-twenties and Ashley was carrying a baby and a toddler. Kyle moved to help Bellingham get the woman down on the ground. Johnny took the toddler from Ashley; he didn't need to ask their condition; he knew from the expression on her face they were in bad shape.

Johnny laid the toddler down and quickly searched for a pulse and respirations. When he found neither he called out for someone to bring him oxygen and started performing CPR. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw that Mike was assisting Ashley, bringing her oxygen and hooking up the biophone. Ashley was performing CPR on the baby.

Marco and Chet were exiting the building, the fire extinguished. Captain Stanley knelt down next to Johnny. "Whatdya need?"

"The drug box and the biophone," Johnny answered, glancing briefly to see Kyle and Bob working on the woman.

The four paramedics worked for quite some time to stabilize their patients. Johnny watched as Bellingham climbed into an ambulance with the woman. He knew she hadn't gained consciousness, but her vitals had sounded promising when he heard Bellingham's last relay to Rampart.

He moved to administer the drugs just ordered by Dr. Early and glanced briefly at Ashley. She was starting a second IV as Mike continued doing chest compressions for her. Johnny frowned. His boy was breathing on his own now, they would transport him shortly to the hospital; but given the actions he saw Ashley taking he didn't think the baby was going to be as lucky.

Johnny loaded into an ambulance and watched as the baby Ashley was working on was moved to a gurney for transport soon. Ashley was continuing chest compressions as they moved the baby. Johnny closed his eyes briefly as the doors of the ambulance closed.

E

"The mom regained consciousness, she's gonna be okay," Bellingham said, joining Johnny at the nurse's station. Johnny's gaze was on Treatment Room 4, where Ashley had gone with the baby.

"The boy's awake too. He'll spend a few days in Peds ICU, but he should make a full recovery."

Bellingham looked at the door that held Johnny's attention. It opened slowly and Dr. Brackett stepped out. He just looked at them and shook his head.

Johnny moved across the hallway and slipped into the treatment room. Ashley stood by the exam table, looking down at the baby.

"I'm sorry," Johnny said quietly.

Ashley turned and moved toward him. Johnny opened his arms and wrapped her in a hug.

"You did your best, Ashley."

"I know," she whispered. "I just hate to lose."

"Me too."

"Can I come over when the shift ends. I'd like to lay like this for a few hours," Ashley whispered, tightening her arms around Johnny's waist.

"I'm sorry, Ashley. I'm taking Roy fishing right after shift. Joanne thought it would do him good to get away for a couple of days."

Ashley pulled back. "Oh, okay. I get it."

"Ashley, I'm really sorry. I feel terrible."

Ashley shook her head. "No, don't. It's good you can be there for Roy; he needs you."

The door opened. "Hey, you ready to head back to the station?" Kyle asked looking at Ashley.

Ashley nodded.

"Have fun. I'll see you after our next shift," Ashley gave Johnny's arm a slight squeeze as she walked by.

Kyle patted Johnny on the back. "See you later, Gage."

He followed Ashley out of the hospital and said nothing on the ride back to the station. Ashley climbed out of the squad after Kyle had backed into the station. She leaned back against the door and dropped her head.

Kyle circled the back of the squad and moved to stand next to her. "You saved the mom and the little boy. I know it's hard to think about the wins; because the loses are so hard. But, 53 people were in that hotel when it caught on fire and we only lost one. You did a good job today."

Ashley turned to look at Kyle. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. "I'm gonna go make a fresh pot of coffee."

Ashley watched him walk away. She reached up with her right hand and pitched her left arm. "No, I'm not dreaming," she mumbled as she moved toward the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

Ashley took her time changing out of her uniform into her street clothes; she just didn't feel up to engaging in the casual banter of everyone's plans for their days off. She sighed, all she really wanted was to be snug in Johnny's arms in his bed. With the way she felt she was pretty sure she would have given in to his desire to make love. It sounded so life affirming and after losing that baby, she really needed some life. Ashley shook her head, grabbed her duffle bag and headed out. Roy and Johnny were probably already enroute to some distant lake.

Ashley squinted as she exited the fire station into the bright California sunshine.

"Hey, Beautiful."

Ashley looked up, her heart rate accelerating, then falling down into her stomach. "Jack, what are you doing here?"

"Well, currently trying not to have my feelings hurt that your face fell when you saw it was me."

"Sorry, Johnny calls me Beautiful, for a second I thought maybe he'd stayed to comfort me."

"Comfort you?"

"I lost a baby last night," Ashley said quietly.

Jack reached out and pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry, Ashley."

"Thanks."

"Why don't you let me take you to breakfast," Jack said, turning her slightly to the left away from her vehicle and toward his.

"I'm not very hungry," Ashley said. "Plus, I really should spend the day looking for a new apartment."

"You need to eat and keep up your strength," Jack said. "And two sets of eyes are better than one so I'll go with you and help you check places out."

Ashley hesitated.

"C'mon, let me take care of you for the day. Where is Johnny anyway?" Jack asked, leading her toward his car. He took her bag and threw it in his backseat.

"Johnny took Roy fishing. What are you doing here anyway? Why are you in LA?"

"I interviewed for the LA police department," Jack said, opening the passenger door to his car for her.

Ashley turned to look at him, shock on her face.

Jack gently took her arm, moving her to sit down. Ashley sat down and tried to wrap her head around the possibility of Jack moving to LA.

Jack closed the car door and quickly circled the car and got in the driver's side. He started the car and put it into reverse before Ashley could change her mind.

They drove in silence for a few minutes.

"I can't believe Johnny left you when you'd just lost a patient," Jack said as he stopped the car at a red light.

Ashley reached over, opened the car door and got out.

"Ashley!" Jack called. The light turned green and the car behind him started honking. Jack pulled through the intersection and pulled the car off to the shoulder. He jumped out and went after Ashley, who was walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction.

"Ashley," Jack caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

Ashley jerked her arm away. "Don't," she hissed. "Don't bad mouth, Johnny. Roy needs him right now."

"And Roy's more important than you?"

Ashley hesitated. "No, but paramedics lose patient's, Jack. It sucks, but it's fact. What Roy's going through is not part of his job. He could go to jail, what would his family do without him, Joanne doesn't work. It's a big deal and Johnny's his best friend. He's right where I want him to be."

"I saw your face Ashley, when you thought I was Johnny. He isn't right where you want him to be. You want him to be with you," Jack said, meeting her eyes. "And I care too much about you to not point out that you need him and his actions are telling you that Roy is more important than you are. If Roy had to choose Johnny or Joanne, who would he choose?"

"That's not fair," Ashley said. "Roy and Joanne are married."

"Isn't that what you're hoping for?"

"Stop it, Jack!" Ashley ran her hands over her face and into her hair. She was tired, she was sad and Jack was just confusing her. "You're my friend. I really don't want to lose your friendship, but if you keep speaking bad about Johnny we're done."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, yes I do."

"Point taken," Jack said.

Ashley turned and started walking away from Jack.

"Ashley, wait," Jack jogged after her. "I'm sorry. I'll behave. But, you do need to eat breakfast and you do need to find an apartment. If Roy needs Johnny, then let me step in and be there for you in his place."

Ashley cocked her head, her eyes narrowing.

"As a friend," Jack put his hands up in the air, in a gesture of surrender.

"As a friend," Ashley said firmly.

She turned around and allowed Jack to lead her back to his car.

E

Johnny yawned and stretched as the car bounced as it went off the pavement onto the dirt road. "Looks like you've been making good time," Johnny observed, looking around.

"Yeah, the traffic's been light," Roy said, glancing at his friend.

Johnny scrubbed his face with his hands and ran them through his hair a few times.

"Rough shift?"

"Busy," Johnny said. "We went on a run with 24s last night," Johnny said, looking out the window, remembering the look on Ashley's face when he walked into the treatment room. "We lost a baby in a motel fire. Ashley was the one that brought her out."

Roy grimaced imagining the scene. "Poor Ash."

Johnny looked down at his hands. He remembered Ashley leaning into him and asking to spend the day in his arms.

Roy glanced over at him again. "I woulda understood if you needed to cancel to be there for her."

"No, it's all good, Ashley understands."

Roy raised an eyebrow, he hoped Ashley was as understanding as Johnny believed. "Well, I'm glad we got a chance to get away; I have some very important things I need to discuss with you."

"After we catch some fish," Johnny said, pointing toward the spot they were looking for.

"Nice place," Roy said, appreciating the clearing they had just drove up too. It was surrounded by tall trees, the lake stretching out before them, the water glistening in the sun. Both men watched as a fish jumped out of the lake and quickly went back under the surface.

Johnny and Roy exchanged glances and laughed. They both jumped out of the Rover and quickly moved to the back to pull our fishing poles and tackle boxes.

Several hours later, Johnny leaned back and patted his belly. "Man that was good."

"I can't remember the last time I ate so much fish," Roy said, leaning back against a rock.

The guys sat quietly for a few minutes letting their food digest.

Roy looked over at Johnny, his eyes were closed and he looked like he was asleep.

"Johnny."

"Yeah, Roy," Johnny said, his eyes still closed.

"I want you to promise me you'll look after Joanne, Chris and Jennifer, if I go to jail."

Johnny opened his eyes. "They're not gonna put you in jail, Roy. The basis for the case hasn't changed, it's your word against this other guy and his brother was gravely injured. No reasonable person is going to hold you accountable for his death."

"The case has changed a little bit," Roy said quietly.

"Whatdya mean changed a little bit?" Johnny sat up straighter and looked at his partner.

Roy was running a stick through the dirt avoiding looking at Johnny.

"Whatdya mean changed a little bit, Roy?" Johnny repeated his question.

"I met with Captain Johnson yesterday afternoon. He was updated by Captain Parker about what the prosecution intends to present in the trial. Dennis is stating that Scott was not as injured as I'm claiming. Dennis is stating that Scott had lost his leg from the shell explosion, but that his abdominal wound was superficial and Scott could have survived had he not been given too much morphine. Dennis is claiming that Scott was distraught because the loss of his leg was going to cost him a football career. Dennis is stating that Scott was telling me that his life wouldn't be worth living without being able to play football and that I sympathized and helped him end his life."

"That's ridiculous," Johnny protested.

"It gets worse," Roy said quietly.

"How?"

"I did a debate in school on assisted suicide. I was assigned to the pro side. They somehow found my paper on why assisted suicide should be allowed. One of the arguments I made is that if you are not going to be able to lead the life you had envisioned for yourself because of an illness or an injury, you should be allowed to choose to end your life."

"You what?" Johnny stood to his feet, shocked that Roy had taken that position.

"I was a high school kid," Roy said, standing to his feet. "I was like 17-years old. I didn't know anything about life and death," Roy defended himself. "It wasn't even my actual position. We were assigned to the pro or con sign randomly by the teacher. I was just trying to get a good grade."

"I can't believe this," Johnny said, running his hands through his hair.

"Promise me, Johnny. Promise me, you'll take care of Joanne and the kids."

"This is insane, Roy!"

"You don't think I know that," Roy said, throwing the stick to the ground. "I made a decision during a war, to try to help ease someone's pain, a decision that wasn't even forbidden and now I may be thrown in jail. I could lose my career, my family will be without me to provide them with money, my kids will grow up without a dad."

Johnny stood there, stunned to see Roy lose his temper. Johnny was always the reactionary one, Roy was always so calm and thought things through.

"What is Joanne gonna do for money? She'll lose the house. My family will be homeless," Roy turned to face Johnny, his face tortured.

"I won't let that happen, Roy. I promise," Johnny moved forward and put his hands on his partner's shoulders. "I'll take care of Joanne and the kids, you have my word."

Roy took a couple of deep breaths. "Thanks, Junior."

Johnny shook his head at Roy's use of Junior.

"Look, there's some things I need to make you aware of," Roy said and sat down.

Johnny sat down next to him.

"I have some investments," Roy said, "and money in a savings account. Joanne is good with money so it's got a nice balance. I also have some savings bonds in a safe deposit box."

Johnny nodded.

"Once the divorce goes through I want you to make sure the guy Joanne eventually marries will be the right guy to raise my kids. Make sure he's a good man and someone you trust."

"Divorce, Joanne's divorcing you?"

Roy just looked at him.

"No, Roy, are you outta your mind? You can't divorce Joanne," Johnny said.

"I can't have her married to a man in jail," Roy insisted. "She's gonna need someone who can take care of her and the kids."

"You just asked me to take care of Joanne and the kids."

"Until she finds someone," Roy explained.

"Roy," Johnny blew out a breath. "I'll take care of Joanne and the kids as long as you're in jail and when you get out your family will be waiting for you."

"Junior, their charging me with murder; it's a lifetime sentence," Roy said, frustrated that Johnny wasn't just agreeing to everything he said. He'd thought this out, this was the best thing for everyone.

"There has got to be a way to prove you didn't kill that boy," Johnny said. "There have to be medical records proving how severe his injuries were."

"It was war time, the paperwork is sketchy and a lot of it's missing. They can't find a report on Scott Kramer's condition, it really is my word against his brother's."

"There had to be other people that saw how badly Scott was injured," Johnny argued.

"The platoons were moving, Dennis and I stayed behind with Scott," Roy argued. "Look, Johnny, just do what I'm asking you."

"Someone had to stop by for you to tell them you were staying behind."

"Johnny, why won't you just agree to this?" Roy asked, his frustration evident in his voice.

"Because it means giving up," Johnny said, his frustration just as evident. "I won't let you give up! We'll find someone who remembers seeing how badly injured Scott was, or we'll find documentation somewhere. Something that gets you outta this mess."

Roy smiled at his partner's naiveté.

"C'mon, Roy. Don't give up on me."

Roy looked over at Johnny. "Let's get some sleep," Roy said, heading into the tent.

Johnny watched his best friend and partner climb into the tent. He looked up at the stars; he never really thought much about God, but right now he needed a higher power to get them outta this mess.

"God, we really need a miracle here. Help us find someone or something to prove Roy didn't kill Scott Kramer," Johnny prayed before climbing into the tent. He doubted he'd get much sleep; but a career of learning to sleep after incredibly stressful runs had taught his body to sleep regardless of the circumstances. He was snoring softly in just a few minutes.

E

Roy listened to the sounds of the waves lapping against the shore as he looked out across the lake. The sun was just thinking about coming up, the horizon just starting to show signs of light. The stars were still easily visible in the dark sky overhead and the moon was lighting the dark water. Roy took in a deep breath and thought about how much he was going to miss mornings like this.

"How am I gonna live locked in a cage?" Roy whispered to the wind.

Johnny's words echoed in his mind, "Don't give up on me."

Roy didn't think he was giving up; he was being practical. You can't fight the army, Roy thought. Roy continued to look out over the water as the light fought off the darkness. Johnny's words kept circling in his mind. Was he giving up, Roy wondered? Would it hurt to fight? If he fought and lost, the outcome wasn't any different than if he didn't fight and they put him in jail for life anyway. But, what if he somehow won. Was that even possible?

"Nice sunrise," Johnny said from behind him.

Roy turned to look at his partner, his hair sticking up in all different directions.

"Has Ashley seen what you look like in the morning?" Roy asked.

"She's stayed over a few times," Johnny said, sitting down.

"And she still wants to date ya?"

"Ha ha," Johnny said dryly.

"I've been thinking about what you said."

"What'd I say?" Johnny covered a yawn.

"Not to give up on you."

Johnny looked over at him.

"I'm gonna fight," Roy said.

"Yeah?" Johnny looked over at him, skeptical.

"Yeah," Roy said emphatically.

"Then, let's do this," Johnny said.

"As soon as we get in some more fishing," Roy said. "I've seen 5 fish jump in the last hour, they're just begging to be caught. We'll drive home tonight and contact Barney Olsen in the morning."

"That's my partner!"


	7. Chapter 7

"How do you want to tackle this?" Johnny asked as he directed the Rover back toward the main road.

"Whatdya mean?"

"How do we start fighting the Army? Do you want me to get all the guys over to your house first thing? Should we all meet a Barney's office?" Johnny asked, thinking of all the different ways to get Roy fighting before he changed his mind.

Roy smiled at his partner. Johnny was very enthusiastic when he decided on something. "First, I'm gonna talk to Joanne and prepare her for what we are facing, the time, uncertainty, cost. Then, I'm gonna call Barney Olsen and see if he'll take the case. Then, I'm gonna call Captain Johnson and let him know I'm bringing in Barney Olson. Then, we can call the guys and arrange our first meeting."

"I can call the guys for you," Johnny volunteered.

"Don't you wanna go see Ashley?"

"Sure, but this is important and I'm here to help you. Ashley's great, she understands."

"Have you guys talked about it?" Roy asked.

"Talked about what?" Johnny said, giving him a confused look.

"Your spending so much time with me and my family?"

"No, why would we? Ashley knows this is big deal and you're my best friend, and my partner. Of course, I'm gonna be there for you." Johnny dismissed Roy's question.

Roy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Did you guys talk about the dog incident?" Roy asked. Suddenly remembering his conversation with Ashley the night he was arrested.

"Ugh," Johnny said, leaning his head back briefly. "No, I keep forgetting to bring it up to her, there's been so much going on. I do need to talk to her though, she can't keep disobeying orders or they'll boot her from the program."

"Ask her about what happened, Johnny."

"Why? What'd she say to you?"

"Just talk to her Johnny. Take her out tonight, have a nice romantic dinner, take her for a walk on the beach. I'll talk to Joanne tonight, I'll call Barney Olson and I'll call Captain Johnson. Tomorrow, I'll call Captain Stanley and Marco. You have Ashley tell Mike and call Chet and we'll all meet at my house tomorrow night."

Johnny was quiet for a minute.

"What?" Roy asked.

"We're on shift tomorrow," Johnny said quietly.

"I've missed one shift and I can't remember that," Roy rolled his eyes. "Tuesday night, we all meet at my house to start figuring out a game plan."

"Sounds good."

They chatted over some ideas as they drove home. Johnny dropped Roy off at the house and then headed toward his apartment. He figured he'd call Ashley and could take a shower while she was on the way to his apartment.

Johnny took the stairs to his apartment two at a time. He unlocked the door and dropped his bag on the floor. He'd pick it up in a minute and separate out the laundry. He picked up the phone and dialed Mike's number.

"Hey, Mike. Can I talk to Ashley?" Johnny said, when his Engineer picked up the phone on the second ring.

"Sorry, Johnny, she's not here. She and Tina went out to do wedding stuff."

"Two days in a row?"

"No, just today. Tina and I were out checking out venues yesterday."

"I just figured when I told Ashley I was goin' fishin' with Roy, she'd go shopping with Tina," Johnny said, realizing Ashley never said that was what she was going to do.

"No, I think she said something about hunting for a new apartment," Mike said, absently as his attention was now drawn to the football game playing on the TV screen. "Oh, man, watta hit!"

"What hit?"

"Are you watching this game?"

"I just walked in the door; what game? Channel?"

"The 49ers and Cowboys."

Johnny turned the dial to get to the channel and watched the replay of the hit Mike had just mentioned. "Oh man."

"Told ya."

Johnny sat down on his couch watching the game while on the phone with Mike. At the half-time break Johnny told Mike he had to take a shower. "Have Ashley call me when she gets in will ya?"

"Yeah, sure," Mike said. Johnny hung up the phone and Mike sat holding the receiver for a few seconds listening to hum coming from the line. He wanted to tell Johnny that Ashley had gotten in really late the night before; he and Tina had already gone to bed. When he got up this morning Tina told him Ashley told her that Jack had been waiting outside her station. He took her to breakfast and insisted on going apartment shopping with her. Then, she dropped the bombshell that Jack was applying for the LA police department. Mike felt torn, Johnny was his shift mate and his friend, but he and Ashley had a special bond.

Mike set the receiver down, there was no way this ended well.

E

"So we are all gonna meet at Roy's house tomorrow night to start formulating our plan of attack," Johnny explained to the men of Station 51. Captain Stanley had given him a few minutes immediately following roll call.

"I'm glad Roy's decided to fight these allegations," Captain Stanley said.

"It's about time," Chet said. "Can I bring Mary?"

"Sure, how's that going?" Johnny asked.

Chet just rolled his eyes. Johnny knew Mary's parents, particularly her dad, were being really hard on Chet. They did not like him back in their daughter's life. Even Johnny wasn't going to try to tease him about that situation.

"Marco, why don't you bring Marisol too," Johnny offered, changing the subject.

"I'll see if she's free, she's been stuck working a lot of overtime they are so short of officers right now. Although, it sounds like Ashley's friend Jack may help out on that front," Marco said.

"What are you talking about?" Johnny asked.

Mike dropped his head and looked at the floor.

"Marisol told me that a guy named Jack Wagner interviewed for a position the other day and he mentioned he was a friend of Ashley's in the interview," Marco said.

"Jack interviewed for a job here?" Johnny sounded stunned. "Does Ashley know?"

No one said anything.

"Mike, do you know if Ashley knows?" Johnny asked.

"He was waiting for her when she left the station after their last shift."

"Seriously? That guy just won't give up," Johnny said.

Mike just looked at him.

"What?"

"They spent the day together looking at apartments."

"What?" Johnny sounded angry.

"They went to breakfast and apartment hunting," Mike said. "She was feeling down from having lost the baby in the fire."

"So Jack probably made some big deal about my not being there for her and tried to play the knight in shining armor."

"She didn't say anything about you not being there Johnny."

Johnny went to speak, but the klaxons sounded calling the station out to a house fire.

E

Johnny pushed open the treatment room door and stopped when he saw Ashley standing at the nurse's station. Dwyer came around the corner at that moment. "Can you give me a minute?" Johnny asked him.

Dwyer saw Ashley standing at nurse's station and just nodded. "I'll check the supplies."

"Hey," Johnny said, coming up to Ashley.

She turned and smiled at him. "Hey, how was fishing."

"Amazing, we caught enough fish to last us a month. Can I talk to you in the breakroom for a minute?" Johnny asked, taking her arm.

"Sure." Ashley let Johnny lead her into the breakroom.

"So, when were you gonna tell me about Jack?" Johnny asked, as soon as they entered the empty room.

Ashley looked surprised.

"You didn't think I'd find out?"

"I'm not hiding it from you Johnny. I haven't seen you, or talked to you, since I saw Jack."

"So what, are you saying I'm ignoring you?"

"No, I'm just saying we haven't had a chance to talk."

"You coulda called me," Johnny snipped.

"I did. I got back from shopping with Tina and Mike told me you called. I tried to call you twice, but you didn't answer."

"I musta been down in the laundry room, or out grocery shopping."

"Well before you jump down my throat maybe you can try asking me."

"I'm just hearing things that have me concerned about you," Johnny said.

"Instead of just believing what you're hearing, maybe you can try talking to me." Ashley raised her voice, her frustration getting the better of her.

"I had to take Roy away, Ash. He needed me," Johnny protested.

"I know that, Johnny. I'm not mad about you being there for Roy. When Jack commented about you not being there for me, I put him in his place. But, you ca…"

"What did Jack say?"

"It doesn't matter," Ashley waved her hand, dismissing Johnny's question.

"It does matter. He's trying to come between us," Johnny protested.

"Jack is not our problem," Ashley insisted.

"So you're saying we have a problem?"

"I'm saying you can't take what you hear for gospel. You need to talk to me."

"That's what I'm doing!"

"No, you're attacking me!"

"I am not!" Johnny was raising his voice now.

"Ashley, we've got to go," Kyle stuck his head into the breakroom.

Ashley looked over at Kyle and then back at Johnny. "Yeah, I'm done here anyway."

Ashley headed out of the room, leaving Johnny staring after her.

"Ugh!" Johnny threw his hands up in frustration.

"Girl trouble?" Dixie asked, walking into the room.

"She's infuriating. I'm just trying to protect our relationship and she's getting all bent out of shape," Johnny griped.

"Are you sure that's what you're doing?"

"Of course, I'm sure. This guy Jack is trying to tell her that I'm not there for her."

"Have you been?" Dixie asked, reaching for a mug to get some coffee.

"You too, Dix?"

"I'm just asking a question, Johnny."

"Yes, I've been there for her. I mean, we haven't spent as much time together lately cause of everything going on with Roy, but I'm there. I've always been there," Johnny said defensively.

"Then you have nothing to worry about from this Jack guy," Dixie said, sitting down at the table with her coffee.

"Johnny, we gotta go," Dwyer came into the room.

Johnny looked over Dwyer and then back at Dixie. "Yeah, right." He followed Dwyer out to the squad.

He climbed into the squad and looked over at Dwyer. He really wished Roy was there, he didn't want to talk about this with Dwyer.

E

"Hey, Mike. Do you think you can call Ashley over at 24s and tell her about the meeting at Roy's house tomorrow night," Johnny asked, when he found Mike sitting by himself on the couch in the dayroom.

"Why don't you call her?"

"We had a small disagreement when we ran into each other at Rampart."

"What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything. I asked her about Jack," Johnny said defensively.

"And what did she say?" Mike asked, honestly wondering what Ashley was thinking about Jack.

"She got mad at me for asking. She accused me of not spending time with her."

Mike didn't say anything.

"So you're taking her side too," Johnny said, standing up and walking toward the kitchen.

"I'm not taking her side. I just, she lives with Tina. I know how much she's been home because you're busy with Roy lately."

"It hasn't been that much," Johnny said. "Has it?"

"The last time I know that you guys saw each other was when she went home with you after we met at Cap's house, but that was a week ago, and from what I heard from Tina, you ranted about how unfair all the stuff happening was and then went to sleep, not exactly a date."

"Well she won't do anything else," Johnny grumbled.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"So what, you think she'd be better off with this Jack guy?"

"Calm down, Johnny, you know that's not what I'm saying," Mike said, getting off the couch.

"Well what are you sayin?"

"That you need to turn on some charm and romance your girl a little bit, or you may not have a girl much longer," Mike said, heading out of the room.

Johnny looked at the phone, maybe he should just call her. Johnny walked over and dialed the number for 24s station.

"LA County Fire Department, Station 24, Engineer Brown speaking."

"Hey, Tommy, it's Johnny, can I talk to Ashley?"

"Sorry, Gage, she's on a run. Want me to have her call you when she gets back?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Johnny hung up the phone and then picked it up again. He quickly dialed Roy's number figuring he'd check in while he was free.

Joanne answered the phone.

"Hey, Jo, how's it going?"

"Good, Johnny. Whatever you said to Roy fishing worked wonders. He's actually at Barney Olson's office right now. I owe you big for this one," Joann said, thinking about how different Roy had been when he got home last night.

"I'm glad," Johnny said, without the enthusiasm Joanne was expecting.

"What's wrong?" Joanne asked, suddenly feeling her nerves heighten.

"I got in a fight with Ashley," Johnny said quietly.

Joanne let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't anything serious.

"Jack was in town. He's interviewing for a job here and Ashley spent the day with him, out apartment hunting. He's telling her that I'm not there for her."

"So prove him wrong," Joanne said.

"How? Tomorrow night we've got to be at your house, you know there will be work to be done the next day, then I'm on shift again. You and Roy need me right now."

"We don't need you every second Johnny. And women don't need as much as men think we do, but we do need a little effort to prove we're important to you."

"She knows she's important to me," Johnny complained.

"Really? So you've told her lately?"

"Well, not in so many words, but she knows."

"Johnny, meet her first thing tomorrow morning. Take her somewhere private, talk to her, more importantly, listen to her. Tell her how important she is to you.

"Thanks, Joanne."

E

"It's okay, sweetie, you're gonna be okay," Ashley said, holding the little girl's hand.

"My leg hurts," the little girl whimpered.

"I know, we're gonna take you to the hospital and get you all fixed up in no time," Ashley tried to comfort the little girl, as Kyle splinted her broken leg.

"I told my husband that jungle gym was a bad idea. She flipped off the top bars and fell," the mom said.

"She'll be okay," Kyle reassured the mom, looking up as the ambulance pulled up to the curve. "We're gonna transport her to Rampart Hospital. You can ride up front, if you'd like."

"Oh, yes, thank you," the woman said, moving toward the ambulance.

"I'll clean up," Ashley said, as Kyle loaded the little girl onto the stretcher.

"You ride in the ambulance with the little girl; I'll clean up and bring in the squad," Kyle said, letting Ashley go in with the little girl. "She seems more comfortable with you," Kyle whispered to Ashley as she passed him.

Ashley tried to keep the little girl distracted on the way to the hospital by telling her stories about some of her experiences.

"Do you think I can be a fire fighter too?" The little girl asked, as she was being wheeled into the treatment room.

"Absolutely," Ashley said, stepping off to the side so the mom could come alongside the little girl.

She only had to wait a few minutes for Kyle to join her.

"You did a good job keeping that little girl calm," Kyle said when he joined her. "I wasn't sure how you'd do after that fight with Johnny."

Ashley looked over and saw Kyle was looking intently at her.

"It wasn't really a fight, just a misunderstanding."

"A pretty loud misunderstanding," Kyle observed.

"I don't get you," Ashley said, looking at him. "You ride my butt about obeying orders and refuse to explain any of your decisions to me, and then you compliment me on my work, and take time to question me about Johnny."

"You're a good rescue person, and you're a great paramedic. But, you're inexperienced and quick to jump into situations; that can get you killed quick in this line of work. As the senior paramedic it's my job to temper that eagerness and train you to listen to those with more experience. Sometimes the best way to learn to obey orders is to learn to obey the ones that piss you off the most," Kyle said. "C'mon, I'm hungry and Jake should have dinner done by now."

Ashley said nothing, but followed behind Kyle trying to figure out how she felt about what he'd said. She was still feeling like her world had been turned upside down when Kyle backed the squad into the bay.

"Hey, Ashley, Johnny called for you," Tommy said, as she got out of the squad.

Ashley stopped and just stood there for a minute.

"Ask Cap if you can use his office," Kyle suggested.

"No. They're probably eating dinner too. Let's eat and I'll call him later."

"You should call now, we may get a call later," Kyle suggested.

"I'll take my chances," Ashley shut the door of the squad and moved into the kitchen.

Kyle watched her and shook his head.

"Leave her alone, Kyle," Joe said, having overheard the exchange.

"This is exactly why I have to ride her so much on her obeying orders. She lets her emotions make her decisions."

"You and I both know that isn't why you ride her about obeying orders. You should just come clean and be honest with her."

"I am being honest and you need to stay outta this with your theories. You don't know anything," Kyle stormed off.


	8. Chapter 8

Johnny threw his uniform shirt into his bag, and quickly shut his locker.

"What's your hurry, Gage?" Chet asked.

"I'm gonna try to get to 24 before Ashley leaves," Johnny said, already heading out the door.

Johnny hurried out to his Range Rover, quickly pulling out into traffic and heading toward Ashley's station. He was pulling in as Tommy Brown was getting into his truck.

"Hey, Tommy, Ashley still inside?" Johnny asked, seeing Ashley's car still sitting in the parking lot.

"Yeah, I think she's on the phone."

Johnny headed into the station. She wasn't in the kitchen area, so he headed toward the dorm.

"Jack if this is really what you want I'm happy for you; but I really hope you're doing this for you and not for me," Ashley said, twisting the phone cord around her finger. Jack had called to tell her he'd been offered the position with the LA police department.

"It'll be great. We can see each other whenever we want," Jack said.

"I'm dating Johnny," Ashley said firmly.

"Have you seen him since the last time I saw you?" Jack asked.

"We've been on shift," Ashley said, her voice exasperated.

"What, he didn't get home from fishing in time to see you at all, given you lost a baby on the last shift?"

"Don't start Jack," Ashley warned him.

"I'm not trying to cause problems. I was just curious. Hey, I need you to do me a favor," Jack changed the subject.

"What's that?"

"That apartment complex on Bellflower, I've decided to take an apartment there. I'm coming down tomorrow to take care of the paperwork, but the landlady won't be available. Can you pick up the paperwork and I'll get it from you tomorrow?"

Ashley didn't respond. She blinked a couple of times wondering if she'd heard him correctly.

"Ashley?"

"Tell me you didn't do this Jack," Ashley said, her voice low.

"Do what?"

"You know I chose that apartment complex for my apartment. Tell me you didn't just get an apartment in the same building as me," Ashley could already imagine Johnny's reaction to that news.

"Even better, the unit right next door," Jack said.

Johnny rounded the corner and entered the dorm. Ashley was sitting at a small desk, her back to the door, her finger wrapped through the circles of the phone cord.

"Jack, you seriously rented the apartment right next to mine?" Ashley closed her eyes as she asked the question hoping this was just a bad dream.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Ashley spun the chair around. "Johnny!"

"Why don't you just move in with him?" Johnny asked, before turning around and storming out of the dorm.

"Jack, I gotta go!" Ashley hung up the phone and took off after Johnny.

She exited the station as he was slamming the door of the Rover, the key already turning in the ignition.

"Johnny, wait!"

Johnny gunned the Rover forward, pulling past her and out into traffic. Ashley moved toward her car to go after him, but realized her purse and keys were still in the dorm on the desk.

"Ugh!" Ashley threw her hands up frustrated at the situation. This was not her fault. Why couldn't Johnny just wait and let her tell him what was going on. She walked back into the station and grabbed her purse and bag. She wasn't sure what to do. Should she go to his apartment and try to talk to him?

Ashley walked to her car and climbed in sitting behind the wheel and trying to decide what to do. The more she thought about it, the madder she got. How dare he not give her a chance to explain her side. She hadn't asked Jack to move to LA. She certainly hadn't asked him to rent the apartment next to the one she wanted.

Ashley started the car and headed toward Tina's. She was not going to go chasing after Johnny when he was the one being so unreasonable. Ashley let herself into the apartment and started putting stuff from her bag into the laundry basket so she could go down and do laundry. The phone rang and her heart jumped.

She answered the phone, "Hello."

"Ash, it's Mike. Did you want me to give you a ride over to Roy's when I pick up Tina?"

"What?" Ashley felt the disappointment that it wasn't Johnny on the phone.

"Didn't Johnny tell you that we're all meeting at Roy's tonight? He's gonna fight these allegations that he did something wrong."

"That's great news," Ashley said, trying to avoid the conversation about Johnny not telling her. "I think I'll just drive myself though."

"Didn't Johnny tell you when he saw you this morning? Actually, why are you already home, is he there?"

"No, we didn't get a chance to talk."

"What happened?" Mike asked, hearing something in her voice.

"He heard me on the phone with Jack talking about the fact that Jack rented the apartment next door to the one I just rented."

"How could he do that? You've got to fix that Ash."

"What am I supposed to do? And how is this my fault?" Ashley asked, getting defensive.

"You shouldn't have told Jack which apartment you were going to rent. You knew he was applying for a job here in LA and you know he's got a crush on you," Mike said, frustrated that Ashley wouldn't have thought about that.

"Are you seriously blaming me for this?"

"I blame Jack; but you need to wise up when it comes to him. He's trying to break you and Johnny up and you're giving him the tools," Mike's irritation coming through the phone. "If he won't give up the apartment, you should find another one."

"I love that apartment, Mike. I can afford it, it's only a few blocks from the beach and it has a washer and dryer in the unit – IN the unit!"

"What's more important to you, Ash. Johnny, or not having to walk downstairs to a laundry room?"

"Right now, I'd give up all the men in my life for a washer and dryer," Ashley said, slamming down the phone.

She grabbed the laundry basket, detergent and bag full of quarters and headed out the door to the laundry room.

E

"This is all the material information I can find on the incident with Scott and Dennis Kramer," Captain Johnson said. "It includes names of all the men that were serving in the platoon on that day that may remember something about Scott's injuries. But, I don't have current addresses on most of them."

"I can take all their names and see what I can find," Marisol offered.

"One police officer that's actually a blessing, not a curse," Johnny said from his chair across the room. He sat slouched down, his arms crossed, avoiding any eye contact with Ashley except to shoot her a pointed look with his statement.

Ashley clenched her teeth and said nothing.

Captain Johnson looked between the two of them and cleared his throat. "Other than that, we have reports from the MASH units in the area, but I have no idea if any of them actually have any references to Dennis or Scott's condition," Captain Johnson continued. "That's what all those boxes are."

Captain Johnson indicated the 24 boxes that were stacked along one wall. "I'd rather not have Roy and Joanne going through the boxes. I don't want any questions about him having access to the evidence being submitted."

"You don't think they'll make an issue about his friends doing it?" Captain Stanley asked.

"Roy is facing prison time, so he has nothing to lose by forging information. None of you are facing that, but you would for falsifying records. It's easier to convince a jury you wouldn't go that far for a friend." Captain Johnson explained.

Chet did a quick count around the room. "If each couple takes 4 boxes we have it covered without Roy and Joanne needing to take any."

Most of the group nodded, but Ashley and Johnny just looked at each other. It was obvious Chet had included them as a couple, but right now they weren't even speaking to each other.

"I've done some checking with the AMA and the CDC," Dr. Brackett said. "The maximum dosage for morphine is 90 mg a day. Roy was way below that at the 30 mg he says he gave."

"Except Dennis is claiming that Roy gave way more than Roy says he did."

"How much morphine did an Army corp man carry on him?" Dr. Brackett asked.

"Under those conditions, probably a lot," Dixie said.

"At least double the 90 mg," Captain Johnson confirmed.

"Except we'd already sustained heavy casualties and I doubt I'd had 60 mg left," Roy said.

"Unless we can find documentation in these files of the other morphine you used, that isn't going to help us."

"That's easy enough to prove, if anyone remembers how the patient was breathing as he expired," Dr. Brackett said.

"What do you mean?" Captain Johnson asked.

"There's a visual difference between someone dying naturally and someone dying from a morphine overdose. In a morphine overdose…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there doctor. We can have a private conversation so you can describe to me the differences, but I'd rather no one else know so we can't be accused of any witness testimony tampering."

Dr. Brackett looked around. "You do realize that the majority of the people in this room have some sort of a least basic first aid, to advanced medical training. They probably all know the difference already."

"Still. I'd like to be able to honestly state that we did not discuss it."

Dr. Brackett looked over at Dixie and then at Roy. "Okay," he shrugged.

"So my suggestion to proceed is for each couple to take the 4 boxes, as suggested by," Captain Johnson looked at Chet.

"Chet."

"Suggested by Chet. One of you should do an initial review and determine if the piece of paper is useless, useful or undecided. The second one then looks at each pile and confirms or disagrees. Then, together you make a determination, or you bring it to me."

The group nodded.

"Dix, why don't we put all four boxes in my car. I'll take them to my office at the hospital. We can work there as we get time and then take a box or two back to one of our places as appropriate."

"Sounds good."

"We should keep these at my place," Chet said, looking at Mary. "I don't think we need Lizzie looking through any of this stuff."

"Agreed."

"My place or your place?" Marco asked Marisol.

"Let's do your place. You have more days off than I do, so you can do the initial review and I can check piles as often as I can get over there."

"Sounds good."

"Let's put them at your place," Mike said, looking at Tina. "Unless you guys are planning on putting them at Tina's?" Mike looked at Ashley, and then over at Johnny, who still had his arms crossed and was definitely sulking.

"I'm hoping to move at the end of the week. I picked the key up for my new apartment this afternoon and the landlady said I could start moving in on Friday," Ashley looked at the ground as she spoke.

"Maybe you should just have Jack review the files with you since you'll be shaking up with him," Johnny's sarcastic tone had the whole room getting quiet and looking between Johnny and Ashley.

Ashley sat up straighter in her chair, her eyes flashing bright with anger. "I am not moving in with Jack!"

"Close enough. Maybe that's why you won't sleep with me, you're too busy sleeping with him."

Everyone turned to look at Ashley.

Ashley didn't say anything, she just leaned over and grabbed her purse off the floor and left the house, the door slamming behind her.

Johnny knew the words weren't true, even he didn't doubt that, but he was hurt and angry and he was looking to hurt Ashley back. From the look on her face before she left he knew he'd succeeded and he instantly felt terrible.

"John Gage…"

"I know," Johnny interrupted Joanne, as he stood up and headed out the door after Ashley.

She was already in her car, but hadn't started the care yet. Johnny could see her wiping her eyes. He hurried to get to her before she pulled away. As soon as she saw him coming she started the ignition. Mike was parked behind her so she had to pull forward. Johnny stepped in front of the car.

"Get outta my way!" Ashley yelled. "I swear, I'll run you over."

"No you won't."

Johnny jumped out of the way as the car engine revved. It took him a minute to realize she slipped the car into neutral so she could rev the engine and get him to move. Ashley dropped the car into drive and pulled away from the curb.

Johnny fished his keys out of his pocket and jumped in the Rover to go after her.

He watched her weave through traffic as he desperately tried to catch her. She pushed a yellow light that turned red as she went under it. Johnny laid on his horn and followed her through the intersection, running the red light.

Ashley pulled her corvette over to the shoulder of the road and got out. "Are you crazy? You jump on me about driving recklessly, you just ran that red light. You coulda caused an accident."

Johnny jumped out of the Rover and grabbed her by the arm. "We're gonna talk."

"No," Ashley said, trying to pull her arm free.

"Yes, we are. Get in," Johnny tried to lead her to the passenger side of the Range Rover.

"No," Ashley struggled harder. "Let me go!"

Johnny grabbed her other arm and forced her to look at him. "We've got to talk about this Ashley. Right now. If we don't we might as well end things right here."

"I don't doubt your ability to talk John Gage, but can you actually listen?" Ashley stopped struggling, but she was obviously still incredibly angry.

"Can you?" Johnny shot back.

Ashley yanked free and headed toward her car. Johnny threw up his hands and walked back to his vehicle.

E

Johnny pulled into Roy's driveway and slowly walked up the driveway. He knocked once and opened the door letting himself is.

"Where's Ashley?" Joanne asked.

Johnny just shook his head.

"Joanne, will you give us a minute?" Roy sat down next to Johnny on the couch.

Joanne looked at Roy and then over at Johnny and headed upstairs.

"What happened?"

"I think we're over," Johnny said, hanging his head down.

"Johnny, you can't let it end like this. Head over to Tina's right now and make things right."

Johnny just shook his head. "It shouldn't be this hard, Roy."

"Johnny, real relationships are hard. You're just not used to real relationships. Do you think marriage is easy? Joanne and I fight, we have disagreements, there are days she won't speak to me and days I'm happy about that."

"I'm just here to pick up the boxes, man," Johnny stood up and grabbed the first box. "Help me get these loaded." Johnny set the box on the table, picking up a second box and putting it on top and then carrying both of them out the front door.

Roy grabbed the last two boxes and followed him out.

As Johnny closed the door, Roy put his hand on his arm. "Call her. Actually, don't call her, go see her. Talk to her Johnny."

"Good night, Roy."

E

Mike kicked the door with his foot, two boxes in his arms. Ashley opened the door.

"Just put them over on the kitchen table," Ashley pointed toward the small table just outside the kitchen.

Mike walked over and dropped the boxes on the table. "You've already got a lot moved over."

"Chet and Marco both came over first thing this morning and loaded up their vehicles, plus Tina's car and my car. I figure two loads with your truck and all my stuff will be out of Tina's. I appreciate you bringing these over. I really want to help Roy."

"You can help him by talking to Johnny. He feels like he's responsible for all this."

"Why would he feel that way?"

"Because Johnny was spending time with him and ignoring you."

"Johnny's spending time with Roy was not our problem. Johnny listening to Kyle and making assumptions about me and not talking to me or listening to me was the problem," Ashley said, walking away from Mike.

"That wasn't the only problem."

"Are you taking his side?"

"I'm not taking sides, Ash. But, you're letting Jack have too much influence on your life. You should've told him he couldn't go apartment hunting with you. You should've told him he couldn't rent the apartment next to you and if he wouldn't move, you should have."

Ashley felt tears stinging her eyes. "Jack's my friend."

"That's not a friend, Ash. I'm your friend and I'd never do that to you; especially knowing it was jeopardizing your relationship."

"Mike, he's been with me through so much. How do I let that go?"

"If you can't let him go to protect your relationship with Johnny, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with Johnny."

Ashley turned around, feeling like Mike had just hit her in the stomach.

"Either Tina or I would be happy to be the second set of eyes for your documents. Call one of us when you have a stack for us to look through," Mike let himself out knowing he couldn't make Ashley do anything and worrying he was going to jeopardize their friendship if he pushed too hard.

Ashley walked over and picked up the phone. "Hi, my name is Ashley James and I'm a patient of Dr. Baker. I need to make an appointment for as soon as possible please."

E

Roy quietly padded down the stairs in his boxer shorts and t-shirt. He opened the fridge, the light breaking the darkness of the kitchen. Roy pulled a bottle of beer out of the fridge and closed the door. He walked over to the cabinets and pulled out the drawer with the bottle opener. He popped the top and looked out the window at the backyard, as he tipped the bottle up to take a small sip.

He barely moved when he felt Joanne rest her hands on his back. She leaned her head against his back briefly. He reached back and pulled her next to him. He handed her the beer bottle and she took a drink.

"What's bothering you?"

"Maybe I do deserve to be convicted."

"What?" Joanne pulled away to look at him, disbelief on her face. "I've heard your story, Roy. You were not trying to kill Scott Kramer."

"Because he was basically already dead. But, Jo, I hate to see someone suffering. I think you should be able to give someone as much pain medicine as necessary, so they are not in pain. Regardless of what that amount is."

"Roy, you're being charged with intentionally ending someone's life. That isn't what you did. You need to keep your focus on that."

"I work in an industry where I'm faced with people in dire medical situations every day. I should know how far I'm willing to go to help someone."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Assisted suicide is illegal. Is any physician at Rampart ever going to tell you to give a lethal dose of medication?" Joanne asked.

"No."

Joanne wrapped her arms around her husband's waist and looked up at the face of the man she'd loved since the day she met him. "Then you're never going to be faced with that choice because you'd never violate an order they gave you. You'd never go off on your own."

"I already have."

"When?" Roy had never mentioned anything to her about not following an order.

"Before the paramedic bill was signed. Dixie went on a run with us and was hurt. Johnny and I treated her and the other two victims of the accident even though we weren't legally allowed to do it. When I lost my connection to Rampart and had to intubate a man in the ambulance, but could not get their permission."

"Both times you were saving a life Roy."

Roy just looked at her.

"You've never done anything to hurt anyone. Even in the Army, you were a medical corp men, you weren't killing people."

Roy just looked at her. He never discussed some of the stuff that happened in the Army. He knew he'd taken lives during that time, but there was no need to go into those details with Joanne; not even now.

Roy lifted the bottle to his lips and took a long drink. "Am I a good man?"

"Now you sound like you do after my mother's been here for a visit. You're a great man Roy DeSoto. And I'm a very fortunate woman to be married to you and our kids are blessed to have you as their dad. You're a wonderful fireman and a fantastic paramedic. You're a loyal friend," Joanne reassured her.

"You're biased, you're my fan club."

"Always have been, always will be," Joanne took the beer bottle from Roy and set it on the counter. She took his hand and gave him a small tug. "Come back to bed. I've got a better way to help you relax," she gave Roy a wink and seductive smile.

Roy smiled and allowed his wife to lead him back to their bed.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey, this might be helpful," Chet handed Mary a document from a MASH unit.

Mary looked it over. It gave the name of a man who had been brought in from Roy's unit on April 30th, very early in the morning. He had a bullet wound to the abdomen and had been given 10 mg of morphine by Corp men Roy DeSoto in the field.

"It documents some usage of the morphine he had on him. That definitely goes into the useful pile," Mary leaned over and placed the document in the area they had reserved for useful documents. Unfortunately, so far, it was the only document.

Chet turned his head, leaned over a little and snuck a kiss.

"I hope the others are having more luck than we are," Mary said, comparing the useless stack to the one useful piece of paper.

"Even Captain Johnson told us this could be a long shot. But, I agree, I hope we find a few more things to help Roy."

"Do you know if Marisol is having any luck tracking down any of the people from Roy's unit?"

"Some. Marco talked to her last night and she'd found current addresses and phone numbers for about 1/3 of them. Captain Johnson is going to start calling them. But, he thinks it may be more productive if some of us actually went to personally see some of the people."

"Really, well, I'm game for taking a road trip with you," Mary smiled at Chet. "Especially an overnight one; Lizzie can stay with my parents."

"Yeah, right, like your parents will keep Lizzie so you can go away with me," Chet snorted.

"They will, just let me know when and where," Mary leaned over and kissed Chet on the lips.

Chet leaned over closer, slipping his arm around her back and pulling her in for a deeper kiss. "I'd love to follow up on that kiss, but the paramedic board meeting to review Roy's case is tomorrow afternoon and I'd love to have more than 1 sheet of paper for Dr. Brackett to take with him."

Mary smiled and pulled another handful of papers out of the box. "Okay, let's get back to work. But, I want a rain check."

"For sure," Chet smiled.

E

"Here's another one," Tina said, handing Mike a sheet. "It's a report from a Captain Jarvis. He mentions that Scott Kramer was killed in action and that Dennis Kramer had a serious concussion and a shrapnel wound to his head. It says he was sent to MASH unit 5820."

"That at least verifies Roy's statement that Dennis had a serious wound to his head," Mike looked at the document. "I wonder if anyone else has found anything. Roy's review with the paramedic board is tomorrow. I know Johnny really wants him to get back to work. Having all these rotating partners has been hard on him."

"We should call everyone and tell them to pay special attention to anything from this MASH 5820," Tina said.

Mike nodded. "Let's finish this stack and then we'll call everyone and then let's take a break and go out to dinner. This is tough to do for long periods of time. I feel bad that Johnny and Ashley are going through these alone."

"How's Johnny doing?"

"It was pretty bad yesterday. Luckily, he was partnered with Dwyer who knew to just leave him alone at the station. Johnny spent any downtime just lying on his bunk staring at the ceiling. Even Cap didn't give him any chores to do. Have you talked to Ashley?"

"I called her before she left for her shift yesterday morning. She said she couldn't talk about it, that she needed to keep her focus on work. You didn't call her?"

"I don't know what to do," Mike said, running his hand through his hair. "I'm friends with both of them. Johnny needs to listen to Ashley, but Ashley needs to deal with Jack."

"I think it's hard for her because he is the only pleasant memory she has from childhood. We've talked before and she told me Jack protected her from some pretty bad things."

"Well he's not protecting her now."

"Those childhood friendships are hard to give up." Tina said.

"Right now our priority is helping Roy. Let's finish these up and go make those calls," Mike held the remaining sheets of paper in his hand up.

Tina nodded and started looking at the next document.

E

Ashley set down the last document and got up from the floor walking into the kitchen. She splashed some cold water on her face and took a few deep breaths. Her hands were shaking slightly. The documents were tough to read; and some of the reports had pictures attached. She'd been through some horrible abuse in some of her foster homes, nothing like these pictures showed; but they brought back a lot of memories. Ashley took a few more breaths trying to ward off the nausea that was overwhelming her as her mind processed the photos. Even her worst cases on the job so far were nothing compared to some of these reports.

Ashley turned as the phone began to ring. She debated not answering it; Jack had called her twice already; but the hope it would be Johnny had Ashley reaching for her phone. "Hello."

"Ash, it's Mike. Tina found a document that states Dennis Kramer was brought to a MASH unit 5820, so when you're going through the files pay special attention to anything from that MASH. It's a good chance Scott was also taken there."

"Ok," Ashley said, clenching her teeth, and trying to take a shallow breath. Ashley was pretty sure she wasn't going to be able to avoid getting sick.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked.

"Fine." Ashley kept her answers short, trying not to get sick.

"Ash?"

"I'm fine. I gotta go though. Talk later," Ashley hung up the phone and rushed to the bathroom, just making it in time before she lost the contents of her stomach.

Ashley turned the faucet on and stuck her head underneath, filling her mouth full of water, swishing and spitting. She walked back into living room and sat back down next to the stack of documents. Her hands shook slightly as she picked up the next report. She made it through several more sheets of paper, all going into the useless pile. She picked up the next document, and glanced over the report. It was three sentences that briefly said the Vietcong had entered a village and tortured the occupants trying to get info on US troop movements. Ashley put the paper upside down next to her, expecting more info on the second sheet. Instead she found herself looking at a picture of a young girl who had obviously been beaten to death, her face was bloodied and someone had slit her neck. Ashley ran to the bathroom and threw up again.

E

"I talked to Chet and Marco just a few minutes ago. They both have a couple of useful documents. Between what they have already accumulated we can account for 40 mg of the morphine Roy was carrying and a report that sort of indicates Scott Kramer's injuries were too severe to sustain life. I can't remember the exact wording, but something along the lines of serious injuries to his abdominal cavity," Johnny said, after Mike gave him the information on the MASH unit.

"Listen, can you arrange to get any documents from Ashley first thing tomorrow morning and bring them over. I'm going to take everything we've got to Barney Olsen. He'll be accompanying Dr. Brackett to Roy's hearing with the Paramedic Board."

"You should call her Johnny."

"Can you do it or not?"

"No. You're gonna just have to call her," Mike said.

"Mike, c'mon, I'm not joking around here," Johnny said, his voice frustrated.

"You've got to talk to her Johnny. Do you really want your relationship to be over?"

Johnny was quiet.

"Call her Johnny."

"Fine, but if it doesn't go well you have to go pick up her documents. Deal?"

"Deal. Let me give you her new phone number."

Johnny wrote down the number and then hung up the phone. He looked at the receiver, debating if he wanted to call her right then or not.

Johnny picked up the receiver and dialed the number Mike had just given him. The phone just rang and rang; Johnny hung up frustrated. "She's probably with Jack," he mumbled.

E

"Thanks for seeing me so quickly," Ashley said, as she sat down in the chair opposite Dr. Baker.

"Are you feeling okay; you look really pale," Dr. Baker said, looking Ashley over.

"Roy's in some big trouble. I've been going through war records it's tough reading."

"In what way?" Dr.

"The reports talk about casualties; some are detailed descriptions of injuries. They talk not only about soldiers, but civilians. There are pictures," Ashley swallowed hard as the image of the young girl flashed through her mind.

"And they bring up memories," Dr. Baker said, remembering some of the stories Ashley had told her about abuse she had suffered in some of her foster homes.

Ashley just nodded.

"Is that why you called me?"

Ashley shook her head.

"Why did you call for an appointment?"

"I think Johnny and I broke up," Ashley said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Because?"

Ashley shrugged.

"You know I don't consider that an acceptable way to communicate," Dr. Baker said, reminding Ashley of a lot of their beginning therapy sessions when she'd try to get away with non-verbal shrugs or nods of her head to avoid verbalizing feelings or memories.

"It was a lot of things. My partner at 24 is really crazy about my obeying orders. He heard I had issues when I first got to LA and he is obsessive about my doing what he tells me without asking any questions. He said some things to Johnny and instead of Johnny asking me what happened, he just assumed I was the one in the wrong. Then, he's jealous of my friendship with Jack, like unreasonably jealous," Ashley complained.

"And if Johnny was here, what would he say was the problem?"

Ashley stopped herself mid-shrug. "He's never talked to me; I don't know."

Dr. Baker raised an eyebrow and just looked at Ashley.

Ashley sighed. "If I had to guess, he'd say that I was letting Jack come between us and needed to be more aggressive about putting Jack in his place."

"Is he right?"

Ashley looked down at the floor.

Dr. Baker just waited.

"Not intentionally," Ashley said. "Jack decided to apply for a position here in LA with the police department. He showed up at my station to tell me that news. Johnny was taking Roy out of town to go fishing. But, I'd lost a patient on shift that night. I was feeling pretty down."

"How did Jack handle that news."

"He's my friend. He took me out to breakfast and spent the day looking at apartments with me. He helped keep my mind off the baby's death."

"How do you think Johnny saw it."

"That I should have been doing that with him, not Jack. But Johnny wasn't there."

"And you're mad at him for that," Dr. Baker summed up.

"No, I'm not mad at him. Roy is his best friend and he could end up in prison if he loses this court case. I understand that Johnny needs to be there for him. And Johnny talked him into fighting for his freedom on that fishing trip."

"So, if you resented the fact he wasn't there for you; that'd make you pretty selfish wouldn't it," Dr. Baker suggested looking at her.

"Yes, but I don't mind, honestly."

"We've talked before Ashley about our head and our hearts. Do you remember those conversations?"

Ashley shrugged.

Dr. Baker said nothing and just kept looking at her.

"That sometimes our heads know that logically we should think one way and feel one way; but our hearts aren't always logical and that impacts our emotions which impacts our head, and we sometimes feel the opposite of what our heads tell us we should feel."

"How did you feel about Johnny going off with Roy instead of staying with you to comfort you after losing your patient?"

"He was right where he needed to be," Ashley said, but she avoided looking at Dr. Baker.

"How did you feel?"

"Roy needed him. It was an important trip."

"How did you feel?"

"I was fine."

"How did you feel?" Dr. Baker emphasized each word.

"Abandoned," Ashley blurted out.

"So maybe going with Jack that morning had a bit of desire to hurt Johnny because he hurt you," Dr. Baker suggested.

"I just didn't want to be alone," Ashley said. "Jack and I have known each other for so long. He knows my history. He knows the feelings losing that baby triggered, the memories that bombarded my mind. He knew how to keep me occupied and automatically avoided those land minds that would have made things harder for me."

"That brings up an interesting point then, Ashley. Why aren't you dating Jack? If he knows you so well, and can help you avoid, the landmines, as you called them; why are you trying to have a relationship with Johnny and not Jack?"

"I love Johnny."

"Why? What makes Johnny the one you love over Jack?"

Ashley didn't say anything.

"Is Jack attractive?"

"Yes, different than Johnny, but yes, he's very attractive. A lot of women notice him when we're out."

"You guys get along; does he make you laugh?"

"He does, his sense of humor is more direct, telling jokes, etc. Where Johnny just jokes around in our conversations, makes funny observations."

"So why Johnny and not Jack?"

Ashley thought for several minutes. "Jack and I share so many similarities in our past. We can see something or experience something and we don't have to say anything and the other person knows what memories are bombarding us, what feelings are overwhelming us and how to respond to make the other person feel better. But,…"

When Ashley didn't speak for several minutes, Dr. Baker prompted her. "But, what?"

"We don't push each other to grow at all. We distract each other, we can understand what the other person is going through, so a shrug tells the other person what your feeling, but we don't have to voice our feelings. We don't ask the questions to make the other one talk about the feelings, the memories. It's easy, but it isn't…"

"Healthy," Dr. Baker finished for her.

"I learned how dangerous bottling up all those thoughts and feelings were. I almost killed myself. Coming to you, getting my friendship back on track with Mike, starting a relationship with Johnny; I've had to address those memories, those feelings. I feel like I'm in such a better place than I was before."

"Then why did you stop talking to Johnny?"

"I didn't," Ashley protested. "He stopped listening."

"When did you sit him down and tell him your side of these scenarios?"

Ashley looked at the ground. "We just haven't had time."

"So there has not been any time in the last several weeks where you couldn't have pushed the conversation?"

"I could have," Ashley admitted.

"Why didn't you?"

"Everything has just been so hard," Ashley said, feeling the tears starting to well in her eyes. "Trying to adjust to a new station. Kyle is an enigma. I can't figure him out. He can be so mean, but then he turns around and compliments my work and is nice and encouraging. Something is going on there, but I don't know what. Then, Roy gets accused of assisted suicide. He could end up in prison for years."

"So you've been taking the easy way out," Dr. Baker summed it up.

"It doesn't seem like it should be this hard."

"Things of value rarely come easy. The question you have to answer is, is Johnny worth fighting for? Is he worth the hard?"

E

"Mike, can I drop the documents off to you for Roy's hearing?"

"Ashley, call Johnny. Take them to him," Mike suggested.

"I can't, not right now Mike. I just need some more time."

Mike sighed.

"Please, Mike. I have a few good documents for Roy's defense; I want to make sure Barney Olsen has them for tomorrow, but I've got some stuff I have to do before I talk to Johnny."

"Fine. Can you bring them my apartment in about a half hour? I'm just getting ready to leave Tina's and I'm stopping by Captain Stanley's to get his documents before I head home."

Ashley checked her watch. "That'll work," she didn't tell him she was at Dr. Baker's office, but the 30 minutes would give her time to go home and get the documents and get back to Mike's apartment.

E

"Thanks for getting Ashley's documents," Johnny said, when Mike handed him the stack of information.

"I still think you need to call her," Mike said.

"I'm going with Roy to this hearing and hopefully out to celebrate after. Tomorrow we are on shift, but I'll talk to Ashley after that."

"Promise."

"Mike, I just can't deal with her right now."

"And you wonder why she's spending time with Jack," Mike said pointedly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you can't ignore a woman and expect her to sit around waiting for it to be convenient for you to spend time with her. Think about it." Mike said, as he walked away.

Johnny went into the apartment and closed the door. He put Mike and Ashley's documents with the others. Johnny stood looking at the pile of documents and then moved to pick up the phone. He looked at the piece of paper that had Ashley's new number and dialed the number. After ten rings Johnny hung up the phone, where could she be?

Johnny didn't have time to consider the possibilities long. He grabbed the papers and headed out to pick up Roy so they could get to Barney Olsen's office.

E

Dr. Brackett handed out copied packets of the material that had been found so far to help Roy's case to the members of the Paramedic Review Board.

"Thank you everyone for finding time in your schedules to meet this week to resolve the matter concerning Firefighter Paramedic Roy DeSoto. I am handing out copies of materials that have been found so far in building Mr. DeSoto's defense in the criminal case surrounding the accusation that he intentionally overdosed a patient to hasten his demise. The accusations include the charge that he injected greater than 90 mg of morphine to the patient," Dr. Brackett began his plea to the committee members.

"I am also providing you each with copies of documentation regarding Mr. DeSoto's career. As you can see he was one of the first firemen to go through paramedic training. He was at the top of his class. He has received multiple commendations in the time he's been serving as a paramedic. His evaluations are always stellar and he received exceptionally high marks on his recertification exam."

"Kel, I don't think any of us doubt Roy's knowledge base. The question we have to answer in this meeting isn't is he capable of doing the job of a paramedic, but do we think he intentionally caused the death of a patient. I'm not even concerned if he would do it again, but this program cannot have the publicity that we would get if Roy is convicted," Dr. Simmer from Harbor General said.

"You're not asking then if he really did it, you're asking what can be proven in court and that isn't fair," Dr. Brackett objected. "We should be judging his aptitude, and judging whether or not we believe he can safely carry out the duties he has been charged with as a Los Angeles County Paramedic."

"It sounds like the first thing we need to do is determine what our goal is here today," Dr. Early said, looking at the members of the Committee.

E

Roy paced back and forth in the lobby of the building where the Paramedic Board was meeting. "How do you think it's going?" He asked Johnny.

Johnny looked at his watch, "I think if they've all gotten coffee and sat down already it'd be a miracle."

"This is torture."

"It's gonna be fine, Roy."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it has to be," Johnny said. "They've scheduled me to work with Bryce tomorrow if you're not back."

Roy couldn't help but laugh at Johnny's tone of voice.

Johnny watched Roy continue to pace. He knew he had to keep Roy's mind off the proceedings that were taking place in the room behind them.

"Mike said something to me today, that kind of ticked me off," Johnny said.

"What'd he say?"

"I made a comment about not being able to call Ashley right now because I just didn't have time to deal with her and he said 'no wonder she's spending time with Jack', or something like that. Do you think this is my fault?" Johnny was partially trying to keep Roy's mind off the proceedings, but he really had wanted to talk to him about his relationship with Ashley.

Roy looked over at Johnny. "I think I'll stay out of it."

"C'mon, Roy. I want your honest opinion."

Roy laughed. "No you don't. You want me to tell you this isn't your fault."

"So you do think it's my fault," Johnny said, standing to his feet, his voice reflecting the fact he was offended by Roy's statement.

"See," was all Roy said.

"So you do think it's my fault. Really?"

"Not 100%, but did you ever ask her about the incident with the dog?"

Johnny shook his head.

"But you're still irritated she disobeyed Kyle's order right?"

"Yes," Johnny reluctantly admitted.

"The day before the dog incident, Kyle and Ashley were leaving a call where the person was not being transported. A little girl fell off her bike and skinned her knee. She was crying and no parent was in sight. Ashley went to move to help her and Kyle ordered her to get in the squad. They left the little girl there by herself," Roy had wanted Ashley to be the one to tell Johnny, but he needed to hear these things.

"What? Why?"

"He never told her. Simply said he was the senior paramedic. When they arrived on scene with the dog, she remembered how I managed to deal with a dog with an air tank. She believed the dog nicked the patient's artery and he didn't have time to wait for animal control. She was right by the way. If she'd have followed Kyle's order, that guy would've died."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Johnny asked, torn between his heart breaking knowing how much it would've hurt Ashley to walk away from that little girl and being furious with Kyle.

"When did you give her the chance?"

Johnny hung his head. "Do you think I can fix this?"

"She loves you Johnny," Roy reassured him. "Why don't you call her?" Roy jerked his head toward a pay phone down the hall.

Johnny reached into his pocket and fished out some change. He walked down the hall and dropped the money into the phone. He lifted his finger to dial the number and stopped. He hung up the receiver and took the money out of the return. He walked back over to Roy and sat down.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't memorized her new number yet," Johnny said miserably.

Roy couldn't help but laugh.

E

"All those in favor, signify by raising your right hand," Dr. Brackett said, watching all the hands go up around the room.

"All those opposed." No hands raised.

"The motion has carried and I call this meeting to a close. Thank you everyone for your time and I'll see you all next month for our regular quarterly meeting."

Johnny and Roy both stood as the members of the Committee started filtering out of the room. Some people glanced Roy's way, but no one approached and no one said anything.

"Oh, that is not good," Roy whispered.

Johnny said nothing, but he feared Roy was right.

Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early and Barney Olsen walked out and headed in their direction. Their faces solemn.

Roy stood perfectly still, his eyes on Dr. Brackett.

"Roy," Dr. Brackett stopped in front of him. "I'm sorry to tell you that…" Dr. Brackett paused.

Roy felt like he might faint.

"You're gonna have to report to work tomorrow morning." He and Joe Early started to laugh.

Roy laughed, his relief was so great. "That's the best news I've heard in a long time," Roy said, his face beaming.

"Alright!" Johnny shouted.

"Unanimous vote of confidence, Roy," Dr. Early added.

"Let's hope this is a positive sign for the criminal hearing," Barney said.

"Thank you, all of you," Roy said.

"Let's go celebrate," Johnny said.

"I'm gonna go and pick-up Dixie," Dr. Brackett said.

"We're gonna go home and pick-up Joanne. She had a babysitter lined up to come over, believing the best." Johnny said.

"And we're gonna try to reach Ashley," Roy added.

"And of course all the other guys," Johnny started leading the group out of the building.

Two hours later the group took up a large section of a local restaurant. Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early, Dixie, Barney Olsen, Captain Johnson and all the guys from Station 51 and their wives and girlfriends were there, with the exception of Ashley. No one had been able to reach her. Mike had even driven over to her new apartment, but she'd never answered the door.

"Should I be worried about her?" Johnny asked Tina, as they waited for the entrees' to be served.

"I don't think she's suicidal, if that's what you're asking me," Tina said.

"That's only part of it."

"Make time to talk to her Johnny. That's all you can do. For right now, enjoy this win."

Tina turned back to the conversation as Dr. Brackett recalled the details of the Paramedic Board meeting. Johnny forced himself to stop thinking about Ashley and be present for this very important celebration.


	10. Chapter 10

Roy was up before his alarm went off, which was a bit surprising considering how late they had stayed out celebrating his reinstatement and the fact he probably should have stopped two beers before he did. He knew it was just from being so happy to be back on shift. The last couple of weeks had been torture.

He slipped out of bed and headed toward the shower. He let the hot water flow over his body and help ease the slight hangover headache. Roy figured he'd pop two aspirins before he headed out the door. Roy stepped out of the shower and quickly dried off. He took the mirror and swiped at the steam on the mirror before thinking about it. "Crap," he said out loud. Joanne hated when he did that, she said it streaked the mirror. He should have time to get some Windex and clean the mirror, he thought, as he finished wiping the steam away.

It only took a few more minutes to shave and throw on his jeans and plaid shirt. He headed downstairs to see what he could find for breakfast. He smelled bacon the second he opened the bathroom door. He let his nose lead him into the kitchen where he found Joanne making pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast.

"Wow, Hon, that really isn't necessary," Roy said, taking in all the food.

"One more bit of a celebration," Joanne said, handing Roy the aspirin bottle and a glass of water.

"That you're getting the house to yourself for the day?" Roy teased.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact," Joanne replied, only half teasing. She loved her husband and children, but she could get so much more done when they were not around.

Roy took the aspirin and took a seat at the table as Chris and Jennifer appeared in the doorway.

"I smell bacon," Chris said.

"I smell pancakes," Jennifer added.

"You smell both; sit down at the table," Joanne said, grabbing a plate for Roy and starting to dish his breakfast.

Roy enjoyed his breakfast and a second cup of coffee. He listened to the kids talk about what was going to be happening at school that day. Joanne shewed them up the stairs to get ready for school as Roy finished his second cup of coffee.

"I should get going to," he said, standing up to carry his plate to the sink.

"I've got it," Joanne said, taking his plate. "You should get in a bit early; you know the guys are going to be going crazy having you back."

"Johnny will at least," Roy said with a smirk. "I saved him from working with Craig Bryce."

Joanne laughed having listened to Roy complain vehemently about Bryce on more than one occasion.

Roy leaned over and gave her a kiss. "See you in the morning."

"Be safe," Joanne said. "I love you."

"Love you too," Roy said, stopping to give her one more kiss. You could never take your loved ones for granted in this job.

E

The room broke out in thunderous applause as Roy walked in the back door of the station to enter the kitchen area. All the shifts that worked out of Station 51 were present. C shift was not out on a run and the members of B shift had come in to see Roy on his first day back. Roy couldn't stop the blush that colored his cheeks from all the attention.

"C'mon guys, I've taken more time off for vacations than this."

"Yeah, but this was no vacation," Johnny interjected.

"No," Roy shook his head, "No, it was not and it feels great to be back!"

Johnny handed Roy a cup of coffee. "I know you need this," he said quietly, a knowing look on his face.

Roy took the cup. "I'm doing pretty good; I already took a couple of aspirin."

The phone rang and Mike picked it up since he was closest to the phone. "LA County Fire Department, Engineer Mike Stoker speaking."

"Hi, Mike, it's Ashley. Is Roy there yet?"

"Yeah, Ash, he's right here.

"Roy, Ashley," Mike held out the phone.

Johnny looked over at the phone and at Mike, but didn't say anything.

"Hi, Ash, everything okay?"

"I'm calling to congratulate you on getting back to work. I'm sorry I missed the celebration," Ashley said, when Roy got on the phone.

"Yeah, where were you?"

"I had a few things I needed to handle with the move and it couldn't wait. I'm really sorry. We'll get together soon to celebrate. Maybe if we get some down time this afternoon I can buy you lunch?"

"Johnny and I would both like that," Roy said.

"If neither of us have calls, let's try to catch up around 1:00 PM," Ashley suggested.

"Sounds great."

"I need to get going; C shift is just getting back from a call and I need to touch base. Have a good day back, Roy; and stay safe," Ashley said, before hanging up the phone.

Johnny saw Roy hand up the phone. "She didn't want to talk to me?" He asked, going to stand next to Roy, so no one else would overhear the question.

"The squad was just getting back and she needed to touch base with C shift. We're gonna try to get lunch together," Roy put a hand on Johnny's shoulder. "And try to be nice."

"I am nice," Johnny protested, following Roy as he left the dayroom and headed toward the locker room.

E

The sounds of chairs scrapping against the floor immediately followed the sounds of the tones going off calling the station out to their first call of the morning. They had been taking a leisurely start to the day as they all enjoyed a cup of coffee and updating each other on the information they had been able to find to help Roy's defense against the Army.

Johnny stopped briefly and looked at the map, running his finger along a red line to find the destination. He looked at cross streets and quickly moved to the squad. Mike was slipping on his turnout and pulling himself into the engine. As Captain Stanley pulled himself up and into his spot, Roy hit the lights and pulled the squad out of the bay; followed closely by Mike.

No one noticed the light brown van that pulled out behind the vehicles.

Roy took in the mass of twisted metal from the four car accident and selected an optimal place to park the squad so they would have quick access to all of their equipment, but would not be in the way of the engine or ambulances.

Johnny jumped out as Roy put the vehicle into park and quickly moved to the first vehicle to check on the single occupant. "Hi, how ya doin'?" Johnny asked.

"I think I broke my leg," the man said, through clenched teeth.

Johnny had opened the door and he knelt down near the man and quickly took in the torn pant leg and the already bruising leg.

"Other than your leg, do you hurt anywhere else?" Johnny took the man's wrist and quickly calculated his pulse.

"No, just my leg."

Johnny looked at the other cars and knew there was a strong probability that there were people far more injured than his first victim. He quickly checked to make sure there wasn't any outward bleeding, he checked the man's stomach for tenderness and checked his pupil responses. Comfortable with the fact the man was stable and not in any immediate danger Johnny prepared to move to the next vehicle.

"I need to go check the other victims. Don't try to move, you're safe here. I'll be back in just a few minutes and we'll set your leg and get you on the way to the hospital, okay?"

The man nodded.

Johnny looked to see where Roy was and how he was coping with his victim.

Roy had also moved on from the first victim he had checked and was just approaching a woman with two kids. The woman was frantically trying to get out of her seat to check on her children, who were both crying, but she was pinned by the steering wheel.

"Ma'am, my name's Roy DeSoto. I'm a paramedic with the fire department. I need you to stop moving, you could seriously injure yourself."

"My kids! I've got to get to my kids."

"I'm right here, ma'am. I'm going to check them out right now; but I need you to calm down and stop moving."

When the woman continued to struggle, Roy changed his direction and went to her first. He put a firm hand on her shoulder and held her back against the seat. "Calm down! I need you to calm down. I can't help your kids if I have to be up here keeping you from hurting yourself. You've got to stay still for me."

The woman looked at Roy, for the first time she stopped struggling.

"If you will stay still for me and just try to relax, I'll check your kids out first and then come back to you, okay?"

"Okay," the woman nodded, slightly breathless from her struggling.

Roy ran a quick professional eye over the woman before moving to the backseat. Her pupils were equal, she appeared to be making sense. Her breathing was heavy, but it wasn't labored, so he was pretty sure it was from her struggling. He didn't see any obvious bleeding, but she had obviously hit the steering wheel pretty hard, so he wouldn't rule out internal bleeding.

Roy opened the door to the backseat to look at the little boy that was in the car seat immediately behind the mom. He checked the car seat and was impressed on how well it was installed. The car seat had stayed in it's appropriate location and Roy quickly assessed that while the little boy may have some bruising from the restraints, he had been held in place well by his car seat and was most likely crying because he was scared and his sister was crying.

Roy quickly ran a hand over the little boy's head, half trying to soothe him and half trying to check for any bumps. "It's okay, buddy. You're okay."

The little boy took a quick breath and stopped crying for a second.

Roy gave him a brief smile. "I'm gonna go check your sister now. You just hang tight for me." Roy wasn't sure how much the little boy understood, Roy guessed him to be about 14 months, but he was looking at him and Roy figured just the calm voice would help.

"Ma'am, it's okay to talk to your kids. Try to keep your voice calm. Let them know you are okay, and they're okay. Let them know that I'm here to help them," Roy suggested, as he moved around the back of the car to get to the little girl.

He struggled to get the door open.

"Mike, I need a crow bar," Roy called out.

Mike ran over the squad and opened the top compartment pulling out a crowbar and heading over to Roy.

Mike placed the end into the seam of where the door met the car and put pressure on the door. Roy was pulling on the handle and an area near the window that was bent enough to give him a good place to hold. Between the two of them they managed to pop the door open in just a minute.

"Do you need anything?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I see Johnny is checking the last car so we're gonna be ready to call Rampart here in just a minute. Why don't you get the biophone hooked up for me?" Roy suggested.

"Sure thing," Mike said, moving back toward the squad.

Roy knelt down near the little girl.

"Hey, sweetie. My name's Roy and I'm here to help you," Roy said, quickly assessing the little girl's overall appearance. She had a swollen and bruised bump on her head, but it wasn't bleeding. From the way she was holding her arm and crying though, Roy was willing to bet she'd broken her arm.

"What's her name?" Roy asked the mom.

"Sarah."

"Sarah, my name is Roy. I'm gonna need to check you out okay. Does your arm hurt?" Roy asked softly.

The little girl sniffed and nodded.

Roy continued checking her, and glanced over at Johnny to see how he was progressing. It looked like he was busy with the last victims. Roy looked to the side where Mike knelt down to set up the biophone.

"Why don't you go get Johnny's notes on his victims so we can call all of them in to Rampart?" Roy said, gently moving his hands to the little girl's arm. Yep, definitely broken, he thought, able to feel the difference in the structure of her small arm. The little girl cried out and pulled her arm away.

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I won't do that again; I just needed to check your arm."

Roy moved back to the front seat to check the mom. "Your little boy is fine. He's probably going to have some bruising, but there doesn't appear to be anything serious. Sarah's got a broken arm, but otherwise she looks to be okay," Roy filled her in, while preparing to take the mom's blood pressure.

He could hear Mike coming back behind him. Roy finished taking preliminary vitals and moved over to the biophone to call in all the victims. He could see Johnny moving back to his first car with the materials to splint the guys leg.

Roy made the call to Rampart and advised Dr. Early of all victims, their vitals and the assessment made by himself and Johnny. Dr. Early gave him the treatment plans for each victim. Roy notated the information next to each victim's information in their respective notebooks and read them back to Dr. Early as confirmation.

Roy gave Mike Johnny's notebook. "Take this back to Johnny and tell him treatment plans confirmed."

The members of Station 51 worked to free the victims from the wreckage and no one noticed Dennis Kramer standing on the sideline watching them work.

Roy bent over the little girl to give her a small dose of pain medication per Dr. Early's instructions.

"Don't let him give her anything, he'll kill her! He killed my brother!" Dennis yelled out to the mother. "He gave him too much pain medicine on purpose and killed him!"

"No!" The mother started struggling against the restraints holding her to the backboard. "My baby, don't hurt my baby!"

"Get him outta here!" Captain Stanley said to the nearest police officer.

"Ma'am, just relax. Roy's a great paramedic; your daughter is in good hands," Chet tried to reassure her, but the woman kept struggling violently. Chet bent down to try to hold her against the backboard, but she suddenly gasped and leaned back on her own.

Roy had already administered the pain medicine before the mother had even cried out so he quickly moved over to the mother. "Mike, get Rampart back on the line," Roy called out, not at all liking what he was seeing develop. The woman appeared to be having difficulty breathing and her color was getting ashen.

"Ma'am, are you hurting anywhere?" Roy asked, as he knelt down next to the victim.

"My chest hurts," she said, her voice strained.

"Is it hard to breathe?" Roy asked, putting a hand on her abdomen.

The woman nodded.

"Your daughter is fine. We are just here to help and no one is going to hurt you," Roy reassured her. The woman seemed to have forgotten everything Dennis Kramer had said, her own injuries requiring her attention.

Mike handed Roy the biophone.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, patient 5 has developed chest pain and is having difficulty breathing. Suspect a possible pneumothorax," Roy relayed the information.

"51, administer oxygen and transport immediately," Dr. Early's voice came over the biophone.

Roy nodded to the ambulance attendant, who quickly moved over to allow them to move the woman onto the stretcher.

Vince joined the other police officer in moving Dennis Kramer toward a police cruiser as Dennis continued to call Roy a murder and shout obscenities at him and the rest of the men. Captain Stanley saw something large and black moving to his left and quickly glanced to the side. He felt his heart sink as he realized it was a television news crew filming Dennis Kramer and Roy as he moved with the woman toward the ambulance.

Roy loaded up with the woman and her two kids, while Johnny went in the second ambulance with the other victims that needed transport.

E

Kyle looked at his watch as he and Ashley exited the Treatment room from dropping off their latest patient to Rampart. "My friend Paul and his wife just had a baby and are in the maternity ward. As long as we don't get a call I was gonna run up and say hi, see the baby. Want to grab something in the cafeteria and we can take it upstairs. I'm sure they won't mind."

"Actually, I saw Squad 51 in the parking lot. I'm gonna grab lunch with Johnny and Roy. But, if you need me I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Sounds good," Kyle said, moving toward the elevators.

"Dixie, do you know where Johnny and Roy are?" Ashley asked.

"In the doctor's lounge," Dixie said, heading toward a treatment room.

"Thanks."

Roy wadded up the paper wrapper from his burger and threw it down on the table. "I can't believe this is on the news," watching the news story of the automobile accident with Dennis Kramer screaming at him and calling him a murder was killing Roy's appetite. He was glad he'd already finished his burger before the story started, because there was no way he could have eaten anything after watching this.

The cameraman had started taping just before Dennis Kramer had called out to the woman, so they even had her struggling to get off the backboard and showed Roy with a needle still in the little girl's arm. Dennis's voice in the distance screaming that Roy was going to kill her.

"This is total crap! I can't believe the station aired this," Johnny said, his mouth full of burger.

Ashley walked into the doctor's lounge and saw the remains of the guy's lunch. She looked at her watch. It was only 12:50 PM, she wasn't late for their 1:00 PM lunch plans.

"Hi," Ashley said, unsure what was going on, but feeling a little hurt and angry that they'd eaten without her.

"Hey," Johnny and Roy said in unison, completely absorbed in the TV.

Ashley moved further inside the room to see what had their attentions, but the story switched back to the newsroom and the anchorman started talking about the upcoming weekends and events planned in the city.

"What's going on?" Ashley asked; she could tell the guys were upset, but she had no idea why.

Just then the H-T Roy had laying on the couch next to him went off, advising them to report back to the station.

"Well, that can't be good," Johnny said, grabbing his and Roy's trash and heading for the garbage can.

"Squad 51, 10-4," Roy replied. "Nope."

"See you later, Ash," Roy said.

"Sorry, Beautiful, we gotta go," Johnny said, as he was opening the door, neither one really looked at Ashley or they would have seen the hurt expression on her face.

Ashley watched the door swing closed. She sat there for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. She didn't want to go find Kyle on the maternity floor, but she really didn't want to sit in the cafeteria and eat by herself.

Ashley fished some change out of her pocket and put it into the vending machine, selecting a banana. She carried it back to the Squad and sat in the squad in the parking lot, waiting for Kyle to return.

Roy started backing the squad into the bay a few minutes later. "Oh shoot!"

"What?" Johnny looked around, trying to see the problem.

"We were supposed to have lunch with Ashley and we ate without her and never said anything to her."

Johnny sighed. "Great, another black mark against me."


	11. Chapter 11

"Cap wants to see you in his office," Chet said, as Roy exited the squad. There was no sense of teasing or even curiosity as to what was going on in Chet's voice. He looked solemn and serious.

Roy and Johnny exchanged glances; this was not good.

They walked together to the Captain's office, Roy knocked on the door, which was partially closed.

"Come in, Roy," Captain Stanley said.

Roy and Johnny walked in and saw Chief McConnike sitting in the office as well.

"John, we won't be needing you for this conversation," Chief McConnike said.

Johnny looked at Roy, hesitated, but ultimately nodded and headed out of the room.

"Have a seat, Roy," Chief McConnike said, as Captain Stanley got up and moved to close the office door.

Roy sat down and looked between the two men.

"Roy, I'm assuming you saw the news this afternoon," Chief McConnike said.

Roy simply nodded, the nauseous feeling he had while watching the program coming back with a vengeance.

"The LA County Fire Department, and the Paramedic program, cannot have this kind of publicity. It's important the public can trust us when we arrive on scene to help them."

Roy nodded, already guessing where this was going.

"We can't allow ourselves to get sidetracked from that priority by emotional connections," Chief McConnike explained.

Roy looked over at Captain Stanley, who was staring at Chief McConnike, a confused look on his face.

"You understand, don't you Roy?" Chief McConnike asked.

Roy looked at him, but didn't move. He could feel the anger starting to rise.

"Roy? You look upset," Chief McConnike observed.

Roy stayed quiet, trying to figure out what he wanted to say without completely losing his cool.

"You do understand, right? We can't sacrifice the good of the department for the good of the one."

"No, no, I do not understand that," Roy said, standing to his feet. "Our job is to help individuals. We are a collection of individuals that make up this department. It's the individuals that make this department great. And, I think I'm one of the individuals that make it great."

Chief McConnike looked at him. "Oh you do, do you?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes I do," Roy said, his voice holding the confidence of a man who knew his worth.

Chief McConnike looked at him, his expression stern. Then he looked at Captain Stanley and his lips cracked a small smile.

"That a boy," Chief McConnike said, standing up and slapping Roy on the back.

Captain Stanley shook his head. "I'm confused."

"Me too?" Roy said.

"Sit down, Roy," Chief McConnike said, sitting back down.

Roy sat back down, totally confused by what was going on.

"I needed to make sure you were ready to fight because the LA County Fire Department is about to bring a complaint against Dennis Kramer on your behalf for defamation of character and interfering with a rescue operation. We are also going to ask for a mental health exam given his behavior. We need you ready for the publicity this is going to cause, not just from reporters, but potentially even victims you are trying to help. I needed to make sure you were ready to defend yourself."

Roy snorted and shook his head. "I really thought you were suspending me again."

"I've already spoken to headquarters; we are behind you 100% Roy and we are not going to let this guy badger you while you're trying to save lives."

"Thank you."

"I understand you've retained the services of Barney Olson?"

"Yes, sir," Roy confirmed.

"We will work with him then to bring charges against Dennis Kramer for his actions this morning."

Roy nodded.

"I'm hoping the news crews don't start following all of you immediately, but if they do, simply do your jobs with all the care and dedication I know you give every day and your only comment to them is "no comment."

Roy nodded.

"That goes for all your men, Hank," Chief McConnike said.

"I'll make sure everyone understands," Captain Stanley said.

"Great, then I'm gonna get back downtown and get the bowl rolling on my end of things," Chief McConnike stood up and dropped hand on Roy's shoulder. "Hang in there, Roy. This too will pass."

E

"There you are," Kyle said, coming up to the passenger side of the squad. "I thought you were gonna be in the cafeteria with Johnny."

"They couldn't stay," was all Ashley said, but from one look at her face Kyle knew the story was much more complicated than that. He circled around the front of the squad and got in the driver's seat. He didn't say anything as he drove them back to the station.

Kyle backed into the bay and turned in his seat to face Ashley, who continued to sit in the squad, looking down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Come with me, I wanna show you something," Kyle said opening the door.

"What?"

"C'mon," Kyle urged.

Ashley reluctantly opened the door and followed Kyle into the locker room.

"What?"

Kyle opened his locker and reached inside. He pulled out a small, black velvet box and handed it to her.

Ashley looked at the box and then back up at Kyle. He nodded. Ashley lifted the lid to reveal a small round diamond on a gold band.

"Kyle, it's beautiful," Ashley said, looking back up at him.

"Jane and I spent yesterday with parents. Her dad gave me permission to ask her to marry me," Kyle beamed.

"When are you going to do it?"

Our anniversary is the day after our next shift. Our first date was at a carnival, and we shared our first kiss while stopped at the top of the Ferris Wheel. The carnival is back in town. I'm going to arrange for the guy to stop us at the top of the Ferris Wheel again and I'm going to propose this time."

"Kyle, that is so romantic," Ashley said, handing him back the ring. "She's going to love it."

"I hope so," Kyle said, nervously; putting the ring back into his locker.

"Trust me, I'm a woman."

Kyle smiled.

"So when do I get to meet her?"

"Soon, I promise."

Kyle closed the locker door as the tones sounds. "Let's go."

Ashley followed him out of the locker room and to the squad.

E

"Squad 24, woman needs assistance, 1500 W. Ann St. Police have been notified. Time out 6:37."

"So much for a quiet end to the shift," Kyle said, putting down his coffee cup. Ashley dumped her breakfast into the garbage can. They quickly moved to the squad and headed out toward the address.

Johnny and Roy heard the call come over the radio. They had just dropped a patient at Rampart and were on the way back to the station hoping to hand off to B shift without any more calls. "We're only a couple blocks away; should we stop and see if they need an extra set of hands? Police being notified can't be good," Johnny suggested.

"As long as we don't get a call it doesn't hurt to swing by," Roy agreed.

Kyle rounded the corner and leaned forward a little in his seat. "What the…"

A man appeared to be in a rage on the front lawn of the house, but with cars parked in the street Kyle and Ashley couldn't see much else. Kyle pulled the squad over to the side of the road. Ashley jumped out and Kyle came around the front of the squad.

The man was kicking a young woman who lay on the ground, her arms covering her face and head. She wasn't even crying for help, she was just laying there, letting him kick her.

Ashley moved forward, but Kyle grabbed her arm. "We wait for the police."

"We've got to help her," Ashley said. "I don't even hear sirens; he could kill her before the police arrive." But she stepped back to stand near Kyle, as he instructed.

Kyle open the side compartment of the squad and pulled out the biophone. "I'm gonna call Rampart to get permission to give him a shot to calm him down, once the police subdue him."

"Maybe we can get him on the ground. If I hit him at the knees, it should at least get him down and maybe we can push him to the ground?"

Kyle just looked at her.

"Kyle?"

"We wait!" He ordered, turning his attention to the biophone, as Rampart acknowledged his call.

Ashley turned back to watch the scene in front of her.

Johnny and Roy turned the corner at the other end of the street and were able to see the scene unfolding in front of them.

"What is Kyle doing?" Johnny asked, not understanding why he wasn't trying to help the woman.

At that moment, the man bent down and grabbed the woman by her throat, pinning her to the ground and beginning to choke her.

"He's gonna kill her," Roy said, stepping on the gas to get them to the house quicker.

They both watched in horror as Ashley ran from her spot next to Kevin and jumped on the man's back.

Ashley wrapped her arms around the man's throat and tried to close off his blood supply, hoping she could force him to lose consciousness.

She lasted about 5 seconds before he let go of his victim and reached back, grabbing Ashley and throwing her off of him and to the ground. Ashley landed hard on her back and it felt like the wind got knocked out of her. She couldn't take a normal breath. She tried to roll to her side, but was met with a swift kick to her rib cage by the man now standing over her. Ashley didn't even have time to react before the man had her by the throat and was pulling her off the ground.

Ashley grabbed for his fingers, but she couldn't get them off her neck. Her vision was getting spotty and she could hear the sound of rushing water. She knew she needed to get oxygen soon or she was going to lose consciousness. Her mind registered two flashes of blue and suddenly she felt herself falling back to the ground.

Ashley rolled to the side and tried to force herself to calm down and take deep breaths. She was having trouble breathing from getting the wind knocked out of her originally, not to mention the injury to her throat. The little air she could breathe in caused pain in her chest.

As she began to feel a bit better Ashley looked up and realized Johnny and Roy were trying to pin the man to the ground. She could hear the police sirens in the distance. "Help them," she yelled to Kyle, but her voice was raspy and not carrying very far. Ashley crawled over to the woman who was lying not far from her and tried to assess her injuries for any immediate concerns. The woman was bleeding and badly bruised, but she was conscious and breathing on her own.

Ashley managed to stand up and move toward the squad. Kyle was taking a syringe out of the drug box. "Get over there and help them," Ashley said, before she took the drug box and moved back over to the woman. She knelt down and started trying to address her injuries.

"Get over here with that shot," Johnny called out, as he and Roy struggled to keep the man on the ground. Ashley was aware of Kyle moving toward them. She turned her attention back to the woman.

"You're gonna be okay," Ashley said softly, as she used gauze to wipe the woman's face, trying to figure out the extent of how badly she was beaten. "I need to check your pupils," Ashley explained. "I'm just going to shine a light in your eyes."

Ashley's hand shook as she updated her small notebook with the woman's vitals. She felt a hand on her arm and looked up, into the concerned blue eyes of Roy. "I've got this Ashley," he said. "Go sit in the squad until we can check you out."

Ashley didn't argue, she handed Roy her notebook and used the nearby tree to help herself stand up. She walked slowly to the squad, still feeling a little unsteady. As she sat down she looked back at the scene.

The police were now on sight and had the man in handcuffs. Johnny was struggling to get his vitals. Kyle had moved over to help Roy treat the young woman. Ashley raised a hand to her throat and rubbed it slightly. She had a feeling she was going to have a bruise on her neck. She closed her eyes and concentrated on taking some slow, deep breaths.

"How are you feeling?"

Ashley opened her eyes to look at Roy.

"I'm okay."

Roy took her arm and Ashley knew he was checking her pulse. She let him do what he needed to do to check her vitals.

"Is that an engine coming?" Ashley asked, hearing sirens in the distance.

"Yeah, it appears there was a small fire inside the house; the engine will check it out and then someone will drive your squad to Rampart. I'll ride in with you and the other female victim. Kyle's gonna ride in with the hulk over there," Roy nodded to the guy Johnny was still treating.

"How mad is Kyle?" Ashley asked.

Roy didn't answer.

"I know I screwed up, Roy. But, I couldn't stand there and do nothing," Ashley grabbed his wrist, so he stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I couldn't."

Roy placed a hand on her shoulder, but didn't say anything.

Ashley saw Kyle talking to her Captain and he looked furious. Her Captain looked over at her, but Ashley couldn't read his expression.

"C'mon, let's get you loaded into the ambulance," Roy took her arm and guided her toward the ambulance.

She climbed in and moved over so Roy could sit next to her. She looked out trying to see if she could see Johnny, but she couldn't.

E

"Ashley, I'm gonna put you in Treatment Room 3; someone will be with you in just a minute," Dixie said, glancing quickly at the female paramedic and deciding she could walk in okay on her own.

Ashley nodded and headed into the treatment room, letting Roy go into room 2 with the original victim. She knew Kyle had arrived a few minutes before them because she'd watched the ambulance pull away before they had closed the doors to her ambulance. She sat down on the exam table and waited her turn.

Ashley looked up as the door to the treatment room swung open. She was expecting Dixie, but it was a furious looking Kyle. "What the hell were you thinking?" Kyle's voice shook, he was so angry.

"I couldn't stand there and let him kill her," Ashley said.

"I gave you a direct order and you blatantly disobeyed me!" Kyle was shouting at her now.

"I had too," was all Ashley said.

"We are done; do you hear me. I will not partner with someone as reckless and untrustworthy as you!"

The door opened again, this time Roy stepped in. "Stop, right now."

"She…,"

Roy held up his hand, stopping whatever Kyle was going to say. "We are not going to do this here. They can hear you shouting all the way down the hall. She's going to be treated by a doctor and what happened today will be discussed with your Captain, not you. Now out," Roy held the door for Kyle to leave.

Ashley watched Kyle walk out of the room, but was afraid to look at Roy. "I had to do it Roy," Ashley whispered, her eyes on the floor.

"Why?"

Ashley looked up at him, her blue eyes meeting his. "Because I've been her. I've been the woman on the ground with someone just hitting you over and over. And you wonder why no one is coming to help you," Ashley's eyes filled with tears. "Then you realize, it's because no one cares if you live or die. I saw it in her eyes, Roy, the belief that no one cared about her. I couldn't stand back and do nothing. I couldn't, Roy."

Roy moved forward to wrap Ashley in a hug. "We care, Ashley. We care a lot about you, which is why we worry about you."

The door swung open and Dixie came in. "I need a minute with our girl," she said to Roy.

Roy gave Ashley a gentle squeeze and stepped out of the room.

"What happened?" Dixie asked.

"I was trying to help the woman in the other room. The guy threw me over his shoulder, kicked me in the ribs on the right, and grabbed me by the throat until Johnny and Roy took him to the ground," Ashley said, giving Dixie the facts she would need to assess her injuries, but trying to avoid any emotions.

Dixie looked at her, but said nothing. She took her cue for Ashley and kept her time completely professional.

"You're gonna need x-rays on your ribs," she handed her a gown. "Get undressed and put this on. Did you hit your head when he threw you to the ground?"

Ashley shook her head.

"I'll be back in with Dr. Brackett in just a few minutes."

"Is the girl okay?" Ashley asked.

"Broken nose, broken cheek bone, several broken ribs, damaged larynx," Dixie ran the list. "She'll be with us awhile. She's lucky you stepped in when you did." Dixie stepped out of the room and started walking to the nursing station to arrange an x-ray for Ashley.

Johnny rushed around the corner, the drive to the hospital had done nothing but increase his anger. What was Ashley thinking pulling a stupid stunt like that? She could have gotten herself killed. He saw Dixie walking down the hallway. "Dixie, where's Ashley?"

"Room 3," Dixie answered, not seeing the look on Johnny's face.

Roy however, instantly recognized the look on Johnny's face and tried to get in front of him.

"Get outta my way Roy," Johnny warned, trying to dodge around him.

"Don't go in there mad, Johnny. Don't do it," Roy continued trying to block him.

"She coulda gotten herself killed," Johnny said, maneuvering to get around Roy.

"You're not angry, you're scared," Roy said. "Calm down before you go in there."

"I'm not scared. I'm furious. What she did was reckless and stupid," Johnny moved again and this time managed to slip past Roy. He shoved open the door and entered the treatment room. He looked at Ashley, sitting on the exam table in a hospital gown; a bruise already forming around her throat.

Ashley looked up as the door abruptly swung open and saw the fury on Johnny's face. She flinched and crossed her arms around her waist like she was trying to protect herself. Johnny saw the fear in her eyes. Seeing how fragile she looked sitting on the exam table and the realization that she was afraid of him caused all the anger to drain out of his body.

Johnny moved forward and wrapped his arms around Ashley, pulling her into his chest.

Ashley felt the tears start to fall as she wrapped her arms around Johnny. He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, just holding her for several minutes. He leaned back to look at her and found himself pulling her into a gentle kiss. When he finally pulled back, he gently ran a finger across her cheek to wipe away her tears.

"I had to Johnny. I couldn't stand there and let him kill her," Ashley whispered.

"Shhh, it doesn't matter right now," Johnny said, leaning his forehead against hers. "All that matters is that you're okay."

Ashley leaned back and looked up at him. Johnny leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss again. He deepened the kiss, running his hand under her hair to hold the back of her head, he slid his other arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. Ashley let herself relax into the kiss feeling safe in his arms.

"I didn't think her condition required mouth-to-mouth," Dr. Brackett said, coming into the room with Dixie and Roy right behind him.

Johnny broke their kiss and just smiled. "I made a judgement call, doc."

"I do feel better," Ashley smiled.

"Me too," Johnny said.

"If you're done checking in on this victim, their asking for us," Roy said, holding up the H-T.

"I'll pick you up as soon as I get off shift," Johnny said, looking back at Ashley.

Ashley nodded.

"Take care of my girl," Johnny said to Dixie and Dr. Brackett.

"No worries," Dr. Brackett said.


	12. Chapter 12

Roy pulled into the driveway and sat in the car for a few minutes looking at his house. He could not believe it had only been 24 hours since he'd walked out of this house to return to work. When he left he'd been excited to return to work, thinking it would allow him to put all the stuff with Dennis Kramer out of his mind. Instead, it had followed him, literally, into the field.

Roy opened the door, he grabbed his bag off the passenger floor board and got out of the car. He opened the back door and inhaled the smell of bacon. Joanne had made him breakfast. He instantly knew this was not a celebratory breakfast.

"You saw the news."

Joanne crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her husband. "Did they put you back on suspension?"

Roy shook his head. "No. Chief McConnike says the fire department is going to support me. He's talking about the fire department pressing charges against Dennis Kramer."

"That's good," Joanne said, feeling a bit of optimism at Roy's statement.

"I guess," Roy shrugged.

Joanne put her hand on Roy's arm. "What's wrong?"

"I was treating a little girl when Dennis started yelling that, well, you saw the news…," Roy paused.

Joanne nodded.

"The mother went berserk. She completely flipped out on me, and in trying to get off the backboard to protect her child, she injured herself pretty bad. Jo, she was trying to predict her daughter from me. From me, Jo." Roy looked distraught as he said it.

Joanne moved forward and wrapped her arms back around her husband waist. "She was just scared, Roy. I bet if you asked her now, she'd be thrilled you were there taking care of her little girl and would think that Dennis guy is a complete crack pot."

"Maybe I shouldn't have gone back until this was all over," Roy said.

"If the fire department didn't think you should be back, they wouldn't have let you come back," Joanne insisted.

"It's what I think that matters," Roy said, looking pained. "I'm the one that has to live with it."

"Live with what?" Joanne asked, confused on the direction this conversation was taking.

"I don't want my patients being afraid of me, Joanne. They have enough to fear from whatever situation has gotten me called out. I'm supposed to be the one that makes them feel like they're gonna be safe. If I can't do that; I can't do my job. That's just as bad as making a medical mistake."

"You didn't make a mistake with Scott Kramer, Roy," Joanne said, knowing where this was going.

Roy gently pulled away from Joanne. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

Joanne watched as Roy trudged slowly up the stairs. She took the bacon out of the pan and cleaned up the food. She made a plate of food for Roy, wrapped it up and put it in the fridge. She knew her husband; Roy wouldn't be eating anything anytime soon.

Joanne listened as the shower started upstairs. She moved over and picked up the phone. She knew Roy wouldn't be happy with her, but she knew only one person could help Roy right now. She glanced at the piece of paper that was pinned near the phone, and dialed the number she needed.

Roy stepped under the hot water and let the water run down his body. He closed his eyes as the water ran off the top of his head and down his face. Roy stayed under the water until it turned cold. He turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain, reaching for a towel. He quickly dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist.

Roy stepped in front of the sink and stared at the foggy mirror. He couldn't see anything more than a dark shape in the reflection from all the steam. He looked down at the sink and let himself get lost in his own thoughts. He looked up when there was a knock at the door.

"Roy, you've got company downstairs," Joanne said, through the door.

Roy closed his eyes and shook his head. Joanne shouldn't have called Johnny. He needed to be with Ashley right now, their relationship depended on it.

Roy quickly dressed and headed downstairs. His plan to was to tell Johnny to hightail it to Rampart and get Ashley before he ruined any chance they had together.

Roy quickly descended the staircase and stopped in his tracks at the visitor in his living room. He looked over at Joanne; not sure if he was angry with her, or amazed by how smart she really was.

E

Dixie knocked on the treatment room door, and peaked her head in. "Are you decent?"

Ashley was just finishing buttoning her uniform shirt. "I am now," she said, her voice still raspy from being chocked.

"Captain Reagan is here to see you."

Ashley's eyes widened, as fear coursed through her body.

"Do you want me to tell him you can't have visitors?"

Ashley shook her head.

Dixie looked at her for a minute. "Are you sure, Ashley? You've already been through a lot this morning."

"I'd rather just get it over with."

Dixie looked at her for another minute and just nodded. "I'll send him in."

"Actually, Dixie, can we talk in the lounge? I'd rather not be in a treatment room as "the patient" when he comes in," Ashley made air quotes when she said, the patient.

Dixie nodded. "Sure, why don't you follow me out."

Ashley quickly slipped on her shoes and followed Dixie into the hall. Captain Reagan was leaning against the wall, watching the treatment room door. He stood up straight as Dixie and Ashley exited the room.

"I'm gonna let you guys use the lounge; in case we get any cases that need the treatment room," Dixie said, leading the way as Ashley and Captain Reagan followed her.

Dixie stopped at the lounge door and Ashley stepped in and Captain Reagan followed her. Ashley moved over and sat down on the couch.

Captain Reagan moved to sit across from her in a chair.

Ashley looked down at the floor, instead of at him. "Am I fired?"

Captain Reagan looked at the young woman in front of him. He hadn't been thrilled when she'd been assigned to his station, but she'd proven herself to be an excellent paramedic and a real good fire fighter too. "No, no, Ashley, you're not fired."

Ashley looked up, surprised not only by his words, but the kindness in his tone.

Captain Reagan looked toward the door. "Ashley, I'm about to tell you something that only myself and Joe know at the station, you'll be a third person, and I hope to limit it to that number."

Ashley looked confused, but she nodded.

"Before Kyle came to 24, he was assigned to a station a bit further north, in Santa Barbara. He was a new rescue man, assigned to partner with a man named Andrew Stevens. Joe Small was Andrew Stevens nephew, that's how he knows this story and the reason I know so many details."

Ashley nodded, still not sure where this story was going.

"Kyle was good, and smart, but he had a bad habit of going off on his own and ignoring orders given to him by Andrew. They were fighting a large factory fire when Andrew and Kyle differed again on how best to approach a section of the building. Andrew told Kyle to retreat to the south and they would try to circle around and come at the fire from a different direction. Kyle ignored the order and charged ahead. Andrew followed him rather than let the new boot fend for himself," Captain Reagan paused and looked down at this hands.

"A section of the roof caved in."

"How bad?" Ashley asked.

"Andrew was killed."

Ashley closed her eyes. She could only imagine how Kyle most have felt knowing that Andrew lost his life following him into a fire that he'd ordered him not to go into.

"When Joe started working at the station, I think it brought it up a lot of issues for Kyle. He got drunk one night and ended up at Joe's door, crying that he'd killed his Uncle. He told him about Andrew ordering him to go in a different way and then following him when he disobeyed the order. Joe came to me the next morning."

"Why…"

"Wasn't Kyle fired?" Captain Reagan finished Ashley's questions when she paused.

Ashely nodded.

"The fire department had done an investigation at the time of the fire and while Kyle hadn't admitted to disobeying an order, he did indicate that Andrew had suggested taking a different route into the fire area. It was determined that there were extreme risks regardless of the direction they approached the fire and it was written off as a terrible accident."

"And once you found out it was because Kyle had disobeyed a direct order?"

"I talked to Kyle about it the next shift and while he didn't flatly deny it, he didn't admit to disobeying a direct order either. I asked Joe what he wanted me to do about it and he said to leave it. Kyle had proven to be a huge rule man since Andrew's death, and certainly didn't exhibit any signs of being unreliable. Joe said he didn't think Kyle was completely accurate when he was drunk. He suspected the confession was more out of guilt over losing a partner than actually being to blame for Andrew's death. But, given how crazy Kyle's been about you following rules, I'm more certain now than ever that what he said that night was the truth."

"And he's afraid I'm going to get him killed by disobeying an order."

"Karma."

"Captain Reagan, I had to help that woman. I couldn't just stand there and let that guy choke her."

Captain Reagan nodded. "I know, Ashley. I wouldn't have stood there either. You're not in trouble. Although, it doesn't seem like we're gonna be able to keep you and Kyle as partners. He's pretty upset. But, I promise you, I'll make sure the file reflects that you made the right judgement call and if you get transferred from 24, I'll make sure you get a good assignment."

"So you're transferring me?"

"One of you, the final determination will be made by the Battalion Chief," Captain Reagan said. Although he was fairly certain Kyle would be the one being transferred. Joe had made the same connection that he had, that Kyle really had disobeyed a direct order and that was what had gotten his uncle killed. He had made it clear to Captain Reagan that he did not want to keep working with Kyle.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

Captain Reagan stood up, and placed his hand on Ashley's shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ashley. Just take the next couple of days to heal up and we'll go from there."

"Thank you, Captain," Ashley looked up at Captain Reagan.

"Do you need a ride home?"

Ashley shook her head. "Johnny's gonna come get me when he gets off shift."

"Okay. I'll see you in a couple days." Captain Reagan walked out.

He gave a small wave to Dixie as he passed the nurse's station where Dr. Brackett was on the phone. "Sure, I can leave right now," Dr. Brackett said, hanging up the phone.

"Dix, I've got to go make a house call. Page Mike Morton and have him come down and help Joe until I get back."

"Is it serious, Kel?"

"Maybe, it just may be."

E

"Hello, Roy," Dr. Brackett said, from his spot sitting on the couch. Joanne had just handed him a glass of iced tea.

"Dr. Brackett."

"I'll leave you two to talk," Joanne said, moving past Roy and heading up the stairs.

"Have a seat, Roy, I think we need to talk," Dr. Brackett said, looking at one of his favorite paramedics.

Roy sat down in a chair across from Dr. Brackett. "I'm sorry Joanne called you," Roy said, a little embarrassed that Joanne had called Dr. Brackett to their house.

"I'm glad she did. Someone needs to talk some sense into you."

"I don't know what Joanne told you, Doc, but…"

Dr. Brackett held up his hand. "You didn't do anything wrong, Roy. Not even if you'd administered three times the amount of morphine you state you used."

Roy shook his head.

"Roy, physicians are generally advised not to administer more than 90 mg of morphine a day, but we are not told we cannot exceed that amount. With the injuries you've described, the humane thing to do would have been to give a high dose of morphine. You didn't give anywhere near 90 mg; and quite honestly; I would have approved more."

"Doc, you know more about this than I do."

"Then take my word for it, Roy, you made the right decision. And as for yesterday, when the woman had calmed down, she told me how good you were with her kids when checking on them. She said she should've just ignored the guy that started yelling at her, but she was still so shaken up from the accident she wasn't thinking clearly."

"But people saw that on TV. Chief McConnike even warned me that my victims may react negatively to my presence at a rescue," Roy stood up, angry at what he may be facing over the next few days; but also feeling the pain at what it would be like to have his patients fear him.

"Roy, it'll only take a patient about 30 seconds to realize you are the best type of man for this type of job. You're smart, capable and caring. If I was injured, you and Johnny would be the paramedics I would want on scene, without a doubt."

"Thanks," Roy sat back down, resting his elbows on his knees and looking at Dr. Brackett. "I can't help thinking maybe I should leave the program," Roy said quietly.

"I know. That's what Joanne said when she called me."

"I didn't tell her that's what I was thinking," Roy shook his head.

"Women are very smart, Roy. It's why when someone like Joanne calls me and asks me to come over, I just come."

"The program does not need the negative publicity I'm about to generate," Roy said. "The paramedic program is finally taking off; we hear constantly about new states approving paramedic programs. This type of publicity, could set the whole program back."

Dr. Brackett shook his head. "I doubt that very much, Roy. I can imagine what you saw when you watched that news broadcast, but what I saw, was a desperate man, with some deep emotional problems, crying out for help."

"It's a risk."

"It's one worth taking."

Roy shook his head. "You know, most days, you just go through the day and most things are generally routine. But, every once in a while something comes up and you realize how inadequate you really are."

"We don't feel any differently as doctor's Roy. We can perform CPR, give medications, diagnose and treat thousands of diseases; but we're not God. Some people die. People with injuries like Scott Kramer, die. And nothing you did or didn't do was gonna change that."

Roy nodded.

"I know you're tired Roy. I know this has been a lot to take in. You're used to being the one saving those in distress, not being in distress yourself. But, you will get through this; if you don't give up."

"You've given me a lot to think about," Roy said.

"Think about it, Roy. And if you need me, don't hesitate to have Joanne call me," Dr. Brackett smiled at him.

"Will do, Doc. Thanks," Roy stood up and walked Dr. Brackett to the door.

As he closed the door, he turned to look back at this wife, now standing at the bottom of the staircase.

"Are you mad?"

E

"Hey, was that Captain Reagan I saw pulling out of the parking lot?" Johnny asked Dixie, as he entered Rampart hospital.

"He came to see Ashley," Dixie said.

"Where is she?"

"Doctor's lounge."

Johnny hurried down the hallway. "Ash, are you okay?" Johnny asked, as he opened the door and moved to kneel down in front of her. Ashley still sat on the couch, feeling stunned by everything Captain Reagan had told her.

Ashley nodded.

"I can't believe Captain Reagan came here to reprimand you while you're still in the hospital. I'm gonna tell Captain Stanley, he'll…"

"It's okay, Johnny," Ashley interrupted him. "He wasn't here to reprimand me. He told me he agreed with my decision. Kyle's still really angry and one of us will probably have to be transferred, but Captain Reagan said he'd make sure my file reflected that I made the right judgement call."

Johnny felt himself take a full breath. He hadn't realized he'd been half holding his breath since seeing Captain Reagan pulling out of the hospital. Johnny gently touched the bruise forming on Ashley's throat. He'd come so close to losing her.

"I'm okay," Ashley said, resting her hand on his.

Johnny leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. "Let's get you outta here." He helped Ashley to her feet. "You wanna go back to my place? I'll make you breakfast."

Ashley smiled. "Why don't you take me to my new place. I really want to show it to you."

Johnny hesitated, a little worried about seeing her new place and having it thrown in his face again that Jack would be living right next door to her; but he was determined to be on his best behavior today. "Sure."

Ashley gave him directions and Johnny looked around a little bewildered as he pulled into the complex. "These are duplexes, Ashley. I thought Mike said you got a new apartment."

"It's that one, right over there," Ashley pointed out a duplex near the end of the property that backed up to beautiful pond. Johnny pulled into the driveway and took in the light blue structure with a wide white porch that connected the two units.

Johnny jumped out of the Rover and ran around to open Ashley's door. He leaned in the back and grabbed her bag.

"I stopped by 24s and grabbed your stuff."

"Thanks," Ashley smiled at him.

He walked her up the porch and took her keys, unlocking the door and opening it for her to walk in. He followed in behind her. The living room was large and filled with natural sunlight from the big windows that filled both the front and side wall. There was a small dining area that led into a large kitchen. Johnny walked into kitchen and saw a laundry area off to the side that had a back door leading outside.

"Look out back," Ashley said.

Johnny opened the door and stepped out onto a large deck that connected to the other unit. Ashley had already purchased a tall patio table with two chairs. Johnny couldn't help but picture Ashley and Jack sitting at that table drinking coffee.

Johnny looked to the far side of the deck and felt his hand clench. There was already a porch swing set up on that side of the deck. It was the perfect size for a couple to snuggle up on and look out over the pond as the sunset.

Johnny took a deep breath and forced himself to exhale slowly. He looked over at Ashley, the bruise on her neck seeming to stand out even more to him now than it had when he arrived at the hospital. Johnny placed his hand on her neck and gently ran his thumb over a portion of the bruise. "I'm glad you aren't in trouble, Ashley. But, please, please don't do anything like that again."

"I had to Johnny. And I need to tell you, why."

"I'm okay if you don't want to talk to me about it," Johnny said, knowing she'd been reluctant in the past to share her history.

"I want to tell you," Ashley held out her hand and when Johnny took it, she led him back inside to the living room. She sat down on the couch and Johnny sat down next to her.

"My last foster home before I went to the group home was pretty tough. The man used to rent out his foster kids for labor and then he took whatever money we made. I usually was assigned to clean houses, office buildings, that kind of thing. I worked hard and usually the people that I worked for liked me. They used to give me things, secretly, extra money, sometimes the woman of the homes I cleaned would give me clothes that didn't fit anymore, or make-up. One day, Grant, the man for the foster home, found one of my hidden stashes. He accused me of stealing it from him and his wife," Johnny looked surprised.

Ashley grabbed his hands. "I swear Johnny; I never stole anything. Not even a lipstick. Everything I had was given to me."

Johnny moved his hand from underneath hers to on top of hers. "I know."

Ashley looked relieved that he believed her. She took a deep, shaky breath and Johnny knew she was about to get to the hard part of her story. He braced himself for what he was about to hear.

"Grant went crazy. He just started hitting me over and over. At first I tried to stand up to him, but he just wouldn't stop. I lost track of how many times he hit me. I had counted 12, but then he knocked me to the ground and started kicking me. I have no idea how long it went on, but I was aware of the fact there were people standing around just watching him hit me. No one stepped up to help, no one called the police," tears filled Ashley's eyes.

"I remember realizing that no one was doing anything because no one cared if he killed me," Ashley whispered.

Johnny slid over closer to her on the couch, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her against him. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and forced himself to take deep breaths to keep the anger he felt inside from escaping.

"I'm not sure why Grant quit hitting me; I guess he got tired," Ashley continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I must've lost consciousness because the next thing I remember is waking up to Jack carrying me to his car. He had just come from delivering groceries, that was his job, and he saw me lying on the ground. He drove me to a nearby clinic and used the money he'd been making to pay for my medical care. He never did let me pay him back. After that, he talked to the group home social worker and got me placed there. Jack aged out a few months later, but he stayed in the area and kept an eye on me to make sure nothing bad happened to me."

Johnny tightened his hold on Ashley. He wasn't even sure what to say. Having seen his share of horrible things his brain created a vivid picture of young Ashley laying on the ground, a man beating her unconscious. Jack had to have something pretty good inside to have picked up a complete stranger and taken her for medical help. Not to mention being an orphan and spending his own money to get her medical care.

Johnny kissed Ashley's temple. "C'mon," he stood up.

"Where?"

"We're gonna go next door and I'm gonna thank Jack for what he did for you that day."

Ashley smiled, but shook her head. "I moved."

"What?"

"I went to see the landlord at the apartment I moved into and explained my situation with Jack. His wife totally understood and helped me make an arrangement for this place. The landlord's mom lives next door. She was recently diagnosed with diabetes. They agreed to let me rent this place for the same amount of money as the apartment, if I agreed to check on his mom a couple times a week. I'll help check her sugar, put her pills in a weekly pill box, and check for any sores, that kind of thing. I met the mom, she's a feisty 80-year old with great stories, who bakes amazing chocolate chip cookies. It's a great arrangement."

Johnny sat down and looked at her. "I don't understand. With what you just told me about Jack, I get why you don't want to lose him as a friend."

"Jack is important to me. But, Dr. Baker helped me realize that Jack is my past. You're the man I want in my future. I love you, Johnny."

Johnny leaned forward and kissed her. Ashley allowed him to deepen the kiss as he leaned her back on the couch. She wrapped her fingers into this thick, black hair and pressed her body closer to his. They continued the make-out session for several minutes before Ashley pulled back.

"I'll be back in one second," Ashley slid off the couch and disappeared down the hallway.

Johnny closed his eyes trying to calm himself down; he was getting really turned on between knowing that Ashley could've been really hurt today, her sharing the story from her past, knowing she'd moved for him; he wanted to make sure he didn't push her too far today.

"Johnny," Ashley called out. "Can you come here?"

Johnny jumped up, worried that something was wrong. He quickly moved down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Ashley stood near the bed, wearing a black negligee. The sheer fabric did not leave a lot to the imagination. Johnny knew his mouth was hanging open, but he couldn't seem to close it. He kept staring at her.

Ashley swallowed, feeling a bit light-headed her heart was beating so fast. When Johnny didn't move toward her, she clasped her hands in front of her, twisting her fingers together. "Johnny?"

Johnny snapped back to reality. "You look amazing."

Ashley smiled and felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She moved toward him, putting her hands on his chest. She kept her eyes on her own hands as she started undoing the buttons of his shirt. Johnny felt like he was in a dream as she unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders. She slipped her hands under his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head.

Johnny sucked in a breath as she ran her nails lightly down his bare chest to his waist, where her fingers started unbuckling his belt; but when he realized she had yet to meet his eyes, he grasped her hands to stop her.

She looked up at him, but her eyes still didn't meet his.

"You don't have to do this," Johnny said. "I love you, Ashley. And I'm willing to wait until you're ready."

"I want to."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"I'm scared," her words were barely audible.

"Of me?"

Ashley barely shook her head.

"Of what?" Johnny reached forward, taking her hands in his.

Ashley looked up and met his eyes. "What if I'm not any good?"

Johnny had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. He leaned forward and kissed her, running his hands up into her hair. He had to force himself to pull back, she felt so good. Johnny took her hand and led her over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Beautiful, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm gonna physically enjoy this a whole lot more than you do, the first few times. But, it's gonna be amazing. Because we love each. You could never disappoint me; except by doing something you're not ready to do."

Ashley leaned forward and pulled Johnny into a long kiss. When she pulled back, her eyes locked with his, and her hands rested lightly on his chest. "I'm ready," she whispered.

Johnny smiled as he pulled her into another kiss, sliding her back on the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

Johnny rolled over and stretched as he blinked at the sunlight filtering through the window. He tried to remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed and happy and couldn't think of a time. He looked at the clock, it was a little after 2:00 PM. He'd been asleep for just over an hour. He'd had no idea when the tones had woken him up this morning that just a few hours later he'd be making love to Ashley. Johnny closed his eyes and remembered how amazing it had been to join their bodies. Ashley had been nervous and a bit shy in the beginning; but Johnny had taken his time and she'd soon become an active participant. Johnny felt himself getting turned on again, remembering their time together. He rolled back over to find the other side of the bed empty. He frowned and climbed out of bed, slipping on his boxers and before padding down the hall in search of Ashley.

He stopped mid-way down the hall when he heard the shower running in the bathroom. Johnny opened the door and quickly entered the room, closing the door behind him to keep in the heat generated by the hot water. He slipped off his boxers and pulled back a corner of the shower curtain, watching as Ashley poured shampoo into her hand. She looked up to see him standing there.

"Mind if I join you?" Johnny asked, as he was already stepping into the shower.

Ashley smiled as Johnny pulled her into a kiss. She turned so she could put him under the direct spray of the shower head, getting his hair wet. She took the shampoo in her hand and slowly started to massage it through his thick, dark hair. Johnny closed his eyes enjoying the sensation. After several minutes, he tipped his head back, raising his hands to begin rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, as Ashley began soaping up her hands. He sighed with pleasure as she moved her hands over his body, the soap allowing her hands to glide effortlessly across his skin. When she moved her hands lower, he moaned with pleasure.

"Let's go back to bed," Johnny suggested, as the water began to cool and Johnny turned it off, reaching out to grab Ashley a towel.

"As tempting as that sounds, I still have almost a full box of material to go through from the Army for Roy. With moving twice, I am seriously behind," Ashley's eyes darkened as she remembered some of the pictures she had seen going through the first box.

Johnny pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "I'll tell you what; let's give Roy a call and see if he and Joanne want to have dinner. We'll stop over my place, so I can grab some clothes, and when we come back here tonight, I'll stay up as long as it takes to get through the box."

"You're worried about how Roy is coping with the aftermath of the news show aren't you?"

"Roy's gonna take that woman freaking out about him caring for her kids personally. He's even going to feel some responsibility for her hurting herself trying to get to him; even though that wasn't at all his fault."

"Roy is very conscientious. It's one of the qualities that makes him such a great paramedic," Ashley said, reaching around Johnny to get her clothes.

"It's also what causes him to be so hard on himself," Johnny said, as he slipped on his boxers, accepting the fact he wasn't going to get Ashley back in to bed.

"Maybe we should call all the guys and see if they want to meet at Jordan's?" Ashley suggested.

Johnny's mouth instantly started to water. Jordan's was a great new restaurant where they had a huge smoker outside and served the best BBQ Johnny had ever tasted. You could get a huge slab of ribs, cole slaw, potato salad, and a slice of chocolate cake for a price so low, Johnny had gone to the manager to make sure they were not cutting the cost as a "gift", since the first time he and Roy ate there they were in uniform.

"That sounds like a great idea. Why don't you go call Mike and see if he and Tina are free while I finish getting dressed?"

Ashley smacked his butt as she moved past him to get out of the bathroom.

E

Roy pulled into a parking space next to Johnny's Rover and saw Mike getting out of his truck a few spots away. As he got out of the car, Marco pulled into the parking lot. Roy lifted a hand and walked over to open Joanne's door. They moved to the back of the car and waited for the group to join them.

"I think Johnny and Ashley are already at the table. She said they were gonna try to get here early to get us a seat on the patio," Mike said, as he walked up to Roy, his arm slung around Tina's shoulders.

"That's Cap's car, but I don't see him or Beth anywhere. They're probably with them," Roy said.

Marco and Marisol joined them just a few second later. Marco had his arm around Marisol's waist.

"How are you doing, Roy?" Marisol asked, her voice making it obvious it wasn't just a casual question.

Roy shrugged. "Okay."

"We got the order today to pick up Dennis Kramer. He's being charged with a Class A misdemeanor for interfering with an emergency incident scene."

"So, he was arrested?" Joanne asked.

"He will be, once we can find him," Marisol said. "There was no answer at his home and he didn't show up for work this morning."

"What can happen to him?" Tina asked.

"Up to one year in jail, if he gets the maximum sentence."

"I hope he gets the help he so obviously needs," Tina said. "From the news story, you can see he's really starting to decompensate."

"What d'ya mean by decompensate?" Joanne asked.

"It's a medical term for when someone can no longer function because of conditions in their life, usually stress, fatigue or illness. He's obviously losing his grip on what is and is not appropriate and may need some psychiatric interventions."

"Spoken like a psychiatric nurse," Mike smiled at her.

"I just call it like I see it," Tina smiled back.

The group watched as Chet's van pulled into the parking lot. They waited for him and Mary to join them and then the group walked into the restaurant.

Johnny and Ashley had managed to push several tables together so they could all sit together. Captain Stanley already held his place at the head of the table, Beth sitting to his right. Roy sat at the other end at Johnny's suggestion and held out a chair for Joanne. Johnny sat across from Joanne and next to Roy. The rest of the group grabbed seats and the waitress came over to take their drink orders.

The group made small talk while they perused the menu and caught up on day to day information. The women hadn't seen each other in several weeks and a lot had happened in the group. Mary talked about how Lizzie had started seeing Dr. Baker and was making good progress on dealing with everything that had happened with Trevor. Marisol talked about how busy things had been at the police station, but steered clear of any mention of Jack joining the force. Tina gave updates on the wedding plans.

Beth quietly watched as the women talked. She noticed that while Joanne did seem to be actively listening, she wasn't speaking a lot. Beth made a mental note to find an errand in Joanne's neighborhood next week, so they could chat, just the two of them. While Hank was the official leader of the men, and it was clearly understood that his role was to watch out for not only the physical well-being of his men, but also their emotional well-being; Beth was the unofficial leader of the women in their lives. She understood her role was to make sure the women were getting the emotional support they needed to accept their guy's dangerous jobs. She was born for the role. She had a way of casually observing those around her and knew just the right words to say to get them to open up about all the things that were weighing them down.

Beth looked a little closer at Joanne. She should have stopped over a couple of weeks ago. Joanne so rarely needed her intervention. Naturally smart, independent and strong-willed, Joanne was not a woman that needed much hand-holding. In fact, during the rare times that Beth needed a shoulder to lean on, Joanne was the woman she could trust with her insecurities and doubts, when they raised their ugly heads.

But as she watched her now, it was evident the toll all of this was starting to take on her friend. Joanne had obviously tried to cover the dark circles with make-up, but Beth could see them in the evening light. Her eyes lacked the sparkle they normally held and she looked a little pale. Worry lines creased her forehead that had not been there just a few months ago.

Beth looked over at Hank and realized he was studying Roy, much the same way she'd just been studying Joanne. She turned her head and looked over at Roy. He was facing Chet, as Chet seemed to be telling an animated story, his hands and arms moving as he relayed whatever tale he was telling; but Beth noticed Roy's eyes were not really watching Chet, they were slightly downward and seemed to be focusing on the table. Beth also noticed the slight pull of his lip on the right side and realized he was chewing on his lip. Beth had heard Hank say that all he had to do was look at his senior paramedic's mouth to know if a patient was in trouble or not. "If I see Roy chewing on his bottom lip, I know we're in danger of losing a victim," Hank had said more than once.

Beth shifted her gaze to look at Johnny. He was sitting next to Roy, his body turned to give his attention to Chet across the table; but Beth noticed that his eyes frequently shifted to glance at his partner. Johnny and Roy had only met through the paramedic program, but they were more like brothers than just partners. Roy was frequently in the role of older brother, amused by Johnny's antics, but always there to make sure he didn't go overboard. But, Beth knew that Johnny cared deeply for Roy and would give his own life to save his friend. Johnny didn't hold back, when he cared for you, he cared with every fiber of his being. He was someone you knew would always have your back.

Beth felt a smile breaking the serious expression she was sure her face held as she studied the group. She noticed one positive change in the group dynamic; Johnny's hand was grasping Ashley's leg, just above her knee, his thumb slowly moving back and forth caressing her skin. He was sitting very close to her, their hips touching. At least that seemed to be one less thing Hank would need to worry about when it came to his more emotional paramedic. While Hank would be the first one to tell you that Johnny was extremely professional and one of the best paramedics in the State, he also knew that the dark haired young man was more impulsive and passionate and those two traits frequently got him, Beth paused her train of thought, how did Hank describe it, into interesting situations. Beth's smile widened. She knew that one of those "interesting situations" had led to Johnny getting engaged to a woman that turned out to have several out of control children. Luckily for their impulsive friend, the woman had found herself a wealthier sucker. It looked like Johnny might be heading in the right direction with Ashley though.

Beth moved her gaze to Ashley, who leaned back as the waitress began to set down drinks. She had been unsure what to make of Ashley when she first came into the lives of the Station 51 family. Ashley and Mike had faced the tragic death of Ashley's sister when they were just young teenagers and had responded in very different ways. Mike had become more responsible and grounded in rules and careful consideration of potential consequences to avoid people being hurt. Ashley had developed a reckless streak that was probably a reaction to her feeling guilty for living when all the rest of her family was deceased. In the beginning, Beth had thought it would be best for all of them if Ashley just moved on; but over time she'd come to like the young woman quite a bit. While Beth knew that Ashley still had a lot she needed to deal with in her past, she believed that Ashley was honestly trying to learn from her past and use it to become a better person. While strong and independent in a lot of ways, there was a fragileness because of her past that seemed to bring out the best in Johnny. He was more grounded when they were together.

Beth saw Chet stop talking as the waitress set down a beer in front of him. He immediately picked it up and took a drink, setting it down and picking up the glass of water, swallowing several times. He resumed his story telling, as if he'd never taken a break. Beth shook her head. Chet was the proverbial class clown. Chet's practical joking side had taken on a persona of its own. The Phantom frequently showed up to wreak havoc at the station and torment the mark of the moment; which frequently was Johnny, because he reacted more than anyone else in the station. Hank gravitated between being amused by Chet's antics and on the verge of actually disciplining the curly haired linesman, who frequently ignored the line of propriety. Chet was a good guy and cared a lot for all of his shift mates, but he was not one to show his feelings; except under dire circumstances. Hank had relayed to her Chet's behavior when Johnny had been bitten by a rattlesnake. Even he had been surprised how impacted Chet had been by the incident; but Beth wasn't surprised. She had figured out that Chet felt things as deeply and passionately as Johnny, but his past had taught him to hide those feelings behind pranks and jokes, so he was never left vulnerable.

Mary was good for him. She was smart and having raised a child on her own for many, many years had developed a maturity that very few women in their twenties or thirties ever achieved. She'd had some tough times and a rebellious past; but she'd curbed that behavior years ago from what Beth could tell. Beth knew that Mary was worried about Lizzie, her daughter seemed to be struggling trying to adapt to their new home and suddenly having a father in her life. Beth had only seen Lizzie on a few occasions, but she had a feeling the young girl would turn out just fine.

Beth turned her attention to Marco as he laughed at something Chet was saying. He looked over at Marisol and they shared a smile. Beth smiled with them. Marco was similar to Roy, he played the older brother to Chet's more impulsive behavior. Marco was very good at his job; and entirely content in his role. While Chet had taken the Engineer's exam and Beth knew without a shadow of a doubt that Johnny and Roy would one day be Captain's; she wasn't sure what path Marco would take. He enjoyed being a linesmen and gave it everything he had; but he liked being able to simply walk away from the pressures at the end of his shift. Marco played semi-pro soccer and had recently taken a few catering jobs on his days off. He gave his hobbies the same attention and dedication that he gave his job. Beth could not see him striving for a position that would require reviewing employee files, or journals of runs on his time off. Every aspect of his life fulfilled him, and he wasn't one to strive to get more. It was that level of contentment that she knew drew Marisol to Marco.

After Marisol lost her brother to gang activity she had dedicated her life to law enforcement and eagerly taken a role in the gang intelligence unit. Beth didn't know all the details, but Marisol had once told her the position has caused her to make choices between compromising her values and doing what was best for the case. She'd done it hoping to make a difference in a world that had deeply wounded her; but it had taken a toll. When she'd gotten together with Marco she'd left the gang unit and gone to work as a patrol officer. Beth knew she had ambitions to move up, but right now she seemed to be following Marco's lead in learning how to give your job a 100%, but then walk away and give the rest of your life a 100% when off duty. Beth thought it was good for her; Marisol looked happier, more relaxed, then when Beth first met her.

Beth turned her attention back to her husband, who was engrossed in a conversation with Mike. Beth knew Hank thought of Mike as the son he'd never had; although Hank wasn't really that much older than his men. They were at a different life stage though. They're girls were teenagers, and other than Roy and Joanne, none of the others even had kids yet. Well, technically Chet now had a teenager, but he was very new to fatherhood. She thought Mike would be a good dad. He had the seriousness and responsibility to be a good parent, but also enjoyed having fun and had the patience to teach his kids all the necessities of life. She was glad Ashley'd come back into his life. Beth had always known Mike had demons that haunted him; Ashley showing up had helped Mike slay those demons and he smiled more now than he used too. Of course, Ashley didn't get credit for all of that; Beth thought as she looked at Tina. She was a great compliment to Mike. Tina was also very serious in her work and because of an accident in her youth; was also incredibly conscientious and responsible. But, she knew how to laugh and love and it was obvious she loved Mike very much. Beth was looking forward to their wedding in just a few months. She hoped they wouldn't wait long to start a family.

Beth realized that Tina was watching her. Beth smiled as Tina leaned in close and whispered, "Everyone look okay, Mom?"

"How are wedding plans coming?"

Tina decided to let Beth change the topic; knowing it wouldn't matter if she tried to press her. Beth watched out for all the women in the group and held their secrets safely. Even if she was worried about someone, unless she needed something from Tina, she'd never mention a word to her.

"I think I'm almost just to the waiting stage. My dress should be in next week; the shop handles the alterations. The bridesmaid dresses should be in just a few days later. The guys are going in a few weeks to get their tuxedos. I've got the flowers ordered, the cake ordered, and a photogra….,"

Tina was interrupted by a woman screaming at the next table. The guy sitting with her, jumped up, knocking his chair over and grabbing her arm pulling her back.

Roy and Johnny both jumped to their feet, their eyes fixed on the man who was slowing approaching their table. Ashley gasped as the light glinted off the blade of the knife Dennis carried in his right hand.

Chet stood up grabbed Joanne's arm, pulling her up from the chair and getting her behind him. Across the table Marisol leaned down to grab her purse.

"You've ruined my life," Dennis said, his gaze focused on Roy. "You killed my brother, now the police are looking to put me in jail; and here you sit, eating, drinking, laughing." Dennis's tone was filled with disgust.

"Let's talk about this Dennis," Roy said, holding his hands up, and trying to keep Dennis's focus on him. Chet had moved slightly to the side, hoping to get positioned behind Dennis.

Dennis turned to look at him and Chet stopped moving. Dennis looked for a few more seconds and then turned back to Roy.

"I want you to admit what you did." Dennis's voice was eerily calm.

"I did everything I could to help Scott," Roy said.

Johnny watched as Chet began to move again.

Marisol grasped her purse strap and pulled, but the purse wouldn't budge. She looked down and realized the strap was trapped by Marco's chair. She tried to tell Marco to move his chair, but stopped when Dennis's gaze moved in her direction. When he looked back at Roy, she nudged Marco and looked down at her purse. Chet continued to move trying to get behind Dennis. Mary squeezed Joanne's hand.

"You did not! You killed him! You shot him!"

Roy shook his head. "Dennis, Scott was hit by a grenade. I tried to help him."

Dennis looked confused.

Marco moved his chair so Marisol could pull her purse, the chair making a scrapping noise on the floor.

"Stop!" Marisol stopped moving as Dennis looked in their direction, pointing the knife at them.

Dennis looked at them for several seconds.

"You killed Scott," Dennis said, looking back at Roy.

"He died in a war," Roy said quietly. "A horrible war."

Marisol slipped her purse onto her lap, slowly starting to pull the zipper. Chet was almost behind Dennis; Johnny took a step forward to be closer to Roy.

"No! You killed him! You took everything from me!" Dennis screamed. "And now I'm gonna get even."

Dennis raised the knife.

Roy took a step back.

"No!" Joanne pulled her hand free from Mary.

Dennis suddenly pivoted and lunged forward.

"NO!" Roy screamed, as he watched Dennis plunge his knife deep into Joanne's chest.

Joanne gasped, her eyes opening wide as she looked into the eyes of Dennis Kramer, and then they moved to look at her husband. Roy was already moving toward her. She faintly heard him screaming "No", his hand outstretched toward her, like he could stop the knife from where he was.

Dennis pulled the knife out of Joanne's chest, and spun around swinging it at Chet, as Chet lunged toward him. Chet jumped back, barely missing the sharp tip of knife.

Mike was pulling Mary back, moving her out of his way, so he could catch Joanne as she fell back. Mike grabbed her and slowly lowered her to the ground, making sure she didn't hit her head and compound the medical emergency.

Ashley and Tina were already moving around Beth and Hank, trying to get to Joanne. Johnny and Roy were blocked because Dennis was between them and Joanne.

Marisol pulled the gun from her purse. "Freeze! Police!"

Dennis turned to look at her, blood covering the knife and his hand.

"Drop it, Dennis," Marisol ordered.

Ashley grabbed several of the cloth napkins off the table, kneeling down next to Joanne and using them to cover the wound that was gushing blood, she pressed down as hard as she could. Tina grabbed Joanne's feet and put them up on a rung of a nearby chair to elevate them above her heart.

"He has to pay for what he did," Dennis said, looking back at Roy.

"Drop the knife!"

Dennis looked back at Marisol, and then down at Joanne.

"He has to pay," Dennis said, raising the knife and moving in Joanne's direction again.

Ashley flinched at the sound of the gun shot. She looked up to see smoke coming from Marisol's gun and then turned to see Dennis hitting the ground, blood spurting from the gunshot wound in his chest.

Roy stepped over Dennis's body to get to Joanne. He knelt down near her head.

"Roy," she whispered.

"Shhh, don't try to talk," Roy said, brushing the hair back from her forehead. She was already so pale.

Tina stood up and grabbed more napkins, as the few Ashley had grabbed earlier were now soaked in blood. She handed them to Ashley, who added them to the pile. She shifted to her knees so she could use her body weight to put pressure on the wound.

She could hear tables being pushed around behind her.

"Make room," she heard Captain Stanley saying.

She didn't have to turn around to know the paramedic squad had arrived and the ambulance must be close by.

She looked up as Bob Parker knelt down next to her.

"She's lost a lot of blood; the knife nicked an artery, or maybe even her heart because it is spurting. My guess is we're gonna need at least two IVs to get her pressure up," Tina advised.

Parker was already pulling the blood pressure cuff out and slipping the stethoscope around his neck. Sam Davis was hooking up the biophone.

"Rampart, this is Squad 24, we've got a woman, 31 years of age, with a knife wound to her chest. She has lost a lot of blood. Also, be advised, we have a psychiatric nurse on scene."

Parker jotted down the vitals on his notepad and showed them to Davis. "BP is 70/40, pulse is 45 and respirations are 9," Davis read off the numbers, looking at Roy as he said them.

Johnny moved over to help.

"What about him?" Parker asked, jerking his head toward Kramer.

"He's dead," Johnny said, looking at Roy.

"C'mon, baby, stay with me," Roy said, as Joanne's eyes fluttered. "C'mon, Joanne, you gotta stay awake for me."

Joanne blinked a few times and tried to focus on her husband's blue eyes. "Cold," she whispered.

"I've got a blanket in my van," Chet said, quickly heading toward the door of the restaurant. He paused to shove another table out of the way as the ambulance attendance moved a gurney in. Instead of heading to his van, he grabbed the blanket off the gurney.

Parker and Davis were both setting up IVs, putting one in each of Joanne's arms. The left the flow wide open according to Dr. Brackett's orders.

They quickly loaded Joanne onto the gurney. Mary grabbed Roy's arm. "Give me your keys. Chet and I will go to your house and take over for the sitter. I'll take the kids to my house. They can stay there as long as necessary."

Roy slipped his hand into his front pocket and pulled out his keys, handing them to Mary with a distracted "thanks".

Roy moved past a police officer that was talking to Marisol and he briefly wondered when the police had arrived.

Roy held Joanne's hand and walked next to the gurney. Parker was now the one putting pressure on her wound. Johnny followed behind. Ashley and Tina walked behind Johnny. Parker climbed into the ambulance and Johnny and Davis lifted Joanne in, with Roy climbing in as well.

Johnny turned to look at Ashley. "Go, I'll get a ride with Mike and Tina," she said, knowing his question from the look on his face.

Johnny moved to the passenger side of the ambulance, as Davis shut the doors.

"C'mon, let's get you into the bathroom to clean up and we'll have Mike drive us to the hospital," Tina put a hand on Ashley's elbow.

Ashley looked down at her hands that were covered in blood, Joanne's blood, she thought and felt herself start to shake.

"Hey," Tina said. When Ashley didn't respond she raised her voice, "Hey!"

Ashley gasped and looked at her.

"This isn't over yet, hold it together," Tina's voice was firm.

Ashley took a deep breath and nodded. She moved with Tina toward the restroom.

"Do you need us here?" Captain Stanley asked Marco.

"No, go to the hospital. I'll stay with Marisol and as soon as she's done we'll head over."

Marisol overheard Marco.

"Actually, you should ride over with Hank and Beth. I'm gonna have to go back to the station and complete a report. Also, I'll have to meet with Internal Affairs."

"Why do you have to see Internal Affairs?"

"I was involved in a fatal shooting, and I'm off duty," Marisol said.

"That's ridiculous," Marco said, his voice raising. "He had a knife, he stabbed Joanne," Marco's voice got even louder.

"Marco, relax," Marisol put a hand on his arm. "It's protocol. Routine."

"I'll go with you."

"Go to the hospital. I'll be there as soon as I can." Marisol looked at Hank, needing his help.

"C'mon, Marco. Let's go. Chet, you need anything?"

"Just call me and give me an update as soon as possible. We'll be at Mary's."

"Where are Tina and Ashley?" Beth asked, looking around.

"Cleaning up," Mike said, joining the group.

Ashley scrubbed harder, trying to get the blood off her hands.

"The hospital will have better soap," Tina said, handing her a few paper towels.

"It was a lot of blood," Ashley said, looking at the paper towels, instead of Tina.

Tina didn't say anything until Ashley looked up at her. "I know," she said, her voice quiet.


	14. Chapter 14

Roy stared out the window at the parking lot. Dr. Early had been waiting for the ambulance when they pulled up. Dr. Brackett and Dixie were already upstairs scrubbing in for surgery. They had rushed Joanne right up. She had lost consciousness in the ambulance, a couple of minutes before they'd reached Rampart.

Roy's vision blurred and he quickly wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window. The sun was just setting, streaking the sky with beautiful shades of pink and orange, but Roy didn't even notice.

The guys had wanted to sit with him, but Roy just couldn't be around anyone right now. They were sitting down the hall in the main waiting area. Roy had moved to a small corner at the end of the hall. He had thought it would allow him to think, but the truth was his mind was completely blank. Instead of being able to think through all the things Joanne would need when she was released from the hospital, there was a buzzing sound in his brain that blocked out any rational thought. "Does that mean she isn't going to come home?" Roy asked out loud, to his reflection in the window.

"Of course she's coming home," Johnny said, walking up behind Roy carrying a cup of coffee.

"Johnny," Roy said, his voice frustrated.

"Listen, Roy, I'm not gonna stay. I just thought you might like a cup of coffee. But, you can't let yourself start thinking that Joanne isn't going to make it. We have to think positive."

"You weren't there," Roy said.

Johnny instantly knew Roy meant in the ambulance those last few minutes that Joanne was conscious. He said nothing, simply moved over to lean against the window ledge, crossing his legs and resting his hands against the ledge, and looked at his best friend.

Roy turned and copied Johnny's posture.

"She told me she loved me and to make sure the kids knew how much she..," Roy's voice broke; he wiped at his eyes again. "How much she loved them," he finally whispered.

"She was just scared, Roy," Johnny tried to reassure his friend, but he felt his own eyes starting to burn with unshed tears.

"She was so pale, and her blood pressure was almost impalpable. Her pulse was barely detectable in her wrist. We've brought patient's in that were in better shape and they didn't make it," Roy said, trying to prepare himself for the news he was now convinced Dr. Brackett would bring him.

"Joanne isn't them," Johnny said firmly. "Don't do this, Roy."

"Dennis said he was going to get even and he did."

"This isn't even. You didn't kill his brother," Johnny caught himself saying kill, and adjusted his wording to be more positive about Joanne's condition. "You didn't do anything to hurt his brother. You tried everything you could to help his brother. The guy was crazy." Johnny stood up straight and moved in front of Roy. He could feel himself starting to feel desperate. He had to get Roy to stop this train of thought.

Roy looked at Johnny. "Johnny, I really just want to be alone. Thanks for the coffee." Roy turned around to look out the window again. He could see Johnny in the reflection of the window. Johnny stood there for a few seconds, looking hurt and confused. Eventually, he turned and slowly walked away, looking back several times.

Roy rested his head against the window again and closed his eyes. That buzzing sound was back.

E

Ashley moved toward Johnny as he walked slowly back to the group. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. Johnny wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "He's convincing himself that Joanne isn't going to make it," Johnny said, his voice just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Ashley pulled back and moved to sit down next to Tina, as Johnny sat down across from her next to Captain Stanley.

"How bad is it?" Captain Stanley asked Johnny.

"She lost consciousness in the ambulance before they got here. Her BP was really low and her pulse really weak," Johnny said, recalling what Roy had told him.

"Maybe I should go talk to him," Captain Stanley said, standing up.

"He just wants to be alone," Johnny said.

Captain Stanley dropped a hand on Johnny's shoulder as he walked by, heading toward Roy.

Roy still stood staring out the window, not really seeing anything.

Captain Stanley moved over to stand next to him. He slipped his hands into his pockets. "I've been where you are before."

Roy looked over at his Captain.

"Not exactly here, but similar. When Beth had our second daughter, there were complications. The placenta ruptured and she started hemorrhaging. A nurse came out carrying this beautiful little girl; when I asked how Beth was doing, she looked like she was going to cry. I started to ask what was wrong with my wife, she just took the baby and walked away. It seemed to take an eternity to get someone who could tell me what was going on. All I could think about was how I was going to raise two girls on my own. I mean, what do I know about raising girls?"

"And what did you decide you would do?"

"I had decided I'd ask my mom to move in with us."

"My mom's gone, Cap," Roy said, looking down at the floor.

Captain Stanley looked over at him.

"No, absolutely not, NO!" Roy said, standing up straight, and waving his hands. "I cannot live with that woman."

"Joanne's mother loves those kids, Roy. She'll take good care of them, and will make sure they remember their mom."

"And drive me right into the looney bin," Roy said. "I can barely make a week with her."

Roy turned around and faced the window again, running his hands through his hair. He dropped his hands down onto the window ledge and looked down at them, shaking his head. "Is that really my only option?"

"Maybe it will be better now."

"Right, when she'll not only think I was a lousy choice of a husband for her daughter, but will now be able to legitimately blame me for her death," Roy scoffed.

"You are not to blame for this, Roy."

"How can you say that? Dennis Kramer did this because of me. He blamed me for his brother's death and he killed Joanne to get even."

"Joanne isn't dead, Roy," Captain Stanley said, putting his hands on his shoulders and turning Roy to face him. "She isn't dead."

Roy pulled away. "I told Johnny, I just want to be alone right now." He moved back to his spot by the window.

Captain Stanley looked at him for a few minutes and then walked away.

E

Everyone looked up as Captain Stanley walked back over to the group.

"I think I made it worse," Hank said, dropping down into a chair. "I shared what happened after Sarah was born."

Beth reached over and took his hand.

Hank looked at the rest of the group. "I almost lost Beth after Sarah was born. I was trying to get him to understand that I knew what he was going through."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan; what happened?" Marco asked.

"I told him I'd been struggling with how I was going to raise two girls on my own."

"And?" Johnny asked.

"I told him I was going to have my mom move in."

Johnny shook his head, "Roy's mom passed away several years ago."

Hank just looked over at him.

"Oh no," Mike said, catching the direction of where this was going.

Marco and Johnny just looked over at him.

"But Joanne's mom isn't," Hank said quietly.

"Oh no," both Marco and Johnny groaned.

The women looked confused, they had never seen Roy preparing for one of his mother-in-laws visits.

"Roy's mother-in-law hates him," Johnny said. "She thinks Joanne married down. She's constantly talking about how Roy isn't smart enough, isn't rich enough, isn't handsome enough. He'd go crazy living with her."

Ashley stood up.

"Where are you going?" Johnny asked.

"To help Roy."

"He really just wants to be alone," Captain Stanley said.

"We should just give him some time, Ash," Mike agreed.

"Don't worry guys. I can help." Ashley made her way toward Roy.

Roy saw Ashley's reflection in the mirror before she ever spoke. "Ashley," Roy's tone was frustrated. "I really just want to be alone."

Ashley leaned her hip against the window sill. "So you know what you're gonna do if Joanne doesn't make it?"

Roy looked at her, his face showing some anger. "No, thanks for rubbing it in."

"Captain Reagan came to see me at Rampart this morning before Johnny picked me up. He told me that Kyle is refusing to work with me after the incident with that guy," Ashley said.

"I'm sorry, Ashley. I hadn't even got a chance to ask you how all that turned out," Roy turned to lean against the window sill, facing her.

"That isn't why I'm telling you this, Roy."

"I'm still sorry I didn't ask."

"One of us has to transfer," Ashley said, trying to get back to her reason for bringing it up.

Roy just looked at her.

"Everyone loves you Roy. There isn't a person that works for the LA County Fire Department that wouldn't do anything they could to help you out."

Roy gave Ashley a small smile. "I'd do anything I could to help any of them out."

"If Joanne doesn't make it; I'll ask to transfer to Station 51s B or C shift," Ashley said. "I'm sure any one of the paramedics would trade with me. When you're on shift, I'll stay at your house. Uncle Johnny's room will just become Aunt Ashley's room. Johnny's just gonna have to stop getting hurt," Ashley tried to smile.

"You don't have to do that Ashley," Roy said, trying to give a smile at her joke, but he wasn't quite successful. "You and Johnny don't want to be on separate shifts."

"The only reason Johnny hasn't already made the offer to change shifts and watch the kids for you is because he can't stand the idea of not being your partner. We'll be fine. He wouldn't want it any other way; he loves Chris and Jennifer almost as much as you do."

"And when we have joint training sessions?"

"They don't happen very often, and we always have plenty of notice. Beth, Tina, Mary, or Marisol should be able to arrange their schedules to watch the kids. Heck, even Lizzie's old enough to do some babysitting."

Roy thought about it for a few minutes. He shook his head, "Ashley, I can't ask you to do that. You're talking about taking on a family, it's a lot of work and a lot of responsibility."

"I know that, Roy," Ashley smiled. "I'm not going to be doing it alone. I fully intend to enlist Betty, Tina, Marisol and Mary to help with cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, homework help and anything that requires a needle and thread. I do not sew, and I have no intention of learning."

This time Roy managed to crack a smile.

"Okay, say I accept your offer," Roy said looking at her. "What happens if you and Johnny break up?"

Ashley looked a little offended he suggested they would break up.

"Come on, Ash. You guys haven't exactly been getting along great lately."

"We worked out a lot this morning," Ashley said, her voice a bit terse.

"Ashley, look, I'm trying to point out that this isn't a great solution because something could happen and I'd be in a real jam."

Ashley moved over closer to Roy. "Roy, I'm not doing this because Johnny's your best friend. I'm doing it because you and your family mean a lot to me personally. You helped me through so much when I first got here, and I adore your kids. Not to mention Joanne supported me when she really should've hated me."

Roy dropped his head. "I can't stand the idea of losing her, Ash."

Ashley moved over and pulled Roy into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes as the emotions of the evening hit him. They stood that way for several minutes, until they heard someone clear their throat. They turned to look at Dr. Early.

"I wanted to stop by and give you an update," Joe Early said, looking at Roy.

Roy stood there, unable to say anything. Ashley reached for his hand, feeling fear at the serious look on Dr. Early's face.

"Fred Standiford and Bruce Jackson are the ones doing the surgery. They were the surgeons who performed my surgery. They're excellent at what they do. Joanne is sedated, they've started the surgery and have isolated the artery that was damaged by the knife."

"What are her chances, doc?"

"It's too early to try to predict that Roy, but Kel and Dix are in the operating room too. They've got her blood matched and I just personally delivered 8 units to make sure they can keep her blood counts up. She's a fighter, Roy," Dr. Early, said, putting a hand on Roy's arm. "Don't give up on her."

Roy nodded.

"I'll make sure someone comes by to update you again soon," Dr. Early said. "I've got to get back to the ER," Dr. Early patted Roy on the back and headed toward the elevator.

"Come on," Ashley slipped her arm through Roy's. "Let's go update the guys."

Roy let Ashley lead him back to the group of men stretched out in chairs.

"Any word?" Mike asked, as he saw them approaching.

Roy sat down and Ashley moved to lean against the chair where Johnny sat, her arm resting around his neck.

"Dr. Early came up. Joanne's in surgery with two really good surgeons, Dr. Brackett and Dixie. They have her under and have started the surgery. They have extra blood waiting for her."

"Well, that's good right?" Marco asked.

Roy nodded.

"I'm gonna go call Chet and Mary and give them an update," Marco said, standing up and fishing change out of his pocket as he headed toward the pay phone.

"I hope everything is going okay with Marisol," Beth said, watching Marco walk away.

"Do you think she'll get in trouble?" Roy asked. "She probably saved Joanne's life by shooting Dennis; but I can't imagine what it is like having to live with that."

E

"Okay, run it through for me one more time," the Internal Affairs Officer said, leaning back in his chair.

Marisol resisted the urge to sigh. She knew this was part of the process. They made you run through the story multiple times, seeing if there were any inconsistencies in the story. The story should change as you remembered new details and different parts of the evening began to impact you differently emotionally; but the core of the story should stay the same. Marisol always thought it was odd to make trained police officers go through the process because she knew what the investigator was looking for; but as the evening wore on and the reality of the fact she had taken a life sunk in, Marisol found she was thinking less like a cop and more like witness. Scenes from the evening would flash into her mind without warning. The smell of blood and gun powder lingered in her nose; her ears still rang slightly from the firing of the weapon.

"We were having dinner, just chatting and catching up on the last few weeks. I noticed Beth was watching the group, scanning each person to see how they were holding up from all the stress of Roy's being investigated by the Army. Her husband, Hank, was doing the same thing; they make a great team," Marisol said, getting a bit side tracked. The IA officer just watched her, making a few notes on the pad of paper in front of him.

Marisol gave her head a small shake and tried to get back on track. "A woman at the table next to us screamed, I looked up and Dennis was approaching the table, carrying a knife. He was only a few feet away by the time we noticed him. I should have been paying more attention. I should've been expecting him to show up after the incident at the car accident," In each version of the story that hadn't changed, Marisol was beating herself up for not stopping the threat before it had happened. The Internal Affairs officer knew that was typical for a good police officer; they wanted to stop trouble before trouble began. He would insist Marisol speak to someone to help her process those emotions. The station had just hired their first psychologist to help officers deal with these types of issues. It was new to the police force and a lot of officer's resented having to go; but the earliest data showed it was helping.

"Roy and Johnny jumped to their feet," The IA officer turned his attention back to Marisol as she continued her story. "Chet tried to move Joanne back and behind him. I reached for my purse to get my gun, but it was caught under Marco's chair," Marisol could feel the adrenaline surge through her veins again at the realization that she didn't have easy access to her weapon. "I caught his eye and managed to get him to move his chair. That drew Dennis's attention, so I had to stay still for a few seconds until he turned his attention back to Roy. While Roy had Dennis talking, Chet started to move to try to get behind him. I was trying to quietly unzip my purse and was calculating the angle that I needed to be standing out to fire it and not hit Chet, since he was moving into the vicinity where he could become collateral damage," Marisol vividly remembered watching Chet move behind Dennis and mentally screaming at him to stop moving. Very few people realized the power a bullet carried when fired at close range. It was entirely possible that if she had to shoot Dennis the bullet would perforate Dennis's chest and hit anyone standing behind him.

"Dennis was escalating quickly, pretty soon he was screaming at Roy that he'd killed his brother and that he was gonna get even. When he raised the knife, Roy took a step back, we all thought he was going to attack Roy, but he suddenly pivoted and thrust the knife into Joanne's chest."

Marisol took a deep breath, the image of blood spurting from Joanne's chest as Dennis pulled the knife out flashing through her mind. "Chet had moved in closer to Dennis, but when he pulled the knife out of Joanne's chest, he took a swing at Chet. Chet moved back to avoid getting cut. That gave me the clearance I needed. I pulled my gun and identified myself as a police officer. I told Dennis to drop the knife."

Marisol could vividly see Dennis's eyes in her mind. He had looked shocked to see her standing there holding a gun, the fact she was a police officer had registered in his mind, Marisol was sure of it. But, the look on his face had not been one of a man likely to surrender. "I knew in that first second that I was going to have to shoot him; but I hesitated, hoping I was wrong."

The IA officer watched Marisol's facial expressions. He knew she was reliving those few moments.

Marisol realized she was being watched. "Mike moved forward and caught Joanne, helping ease her down to the ground. Tina and Ashley moved to start treating her injury," Marisol continued, just wanting to get through the next part of the story.

Marisol took a deep breath. "I ordered him to drop the knife a second time. He told me that Roy had to pay, but he was looking at Roy. I repeated my order. This time Dennis looked at me, but then he looked back down to where Tina and Ashley were working on Joanne. He said he had to pay again, he raised the knife and he leaned in Joanne's direction," Marisol said, seeing the scene play out in slow motion.

"I fired one shot."

"Where did you hit him?"

Marisol looked at the investigating officer. "In the chest."

"Why just one shot?"

Marisol closed her eyes as she relived the sight of her bullet penetrating Dennis's chest, the blood immediately spurting forward, Dennis's body had jerked back from the force of the bullet hitting him. His eyes had widened as he realized he'd been shot. His eyes had locked with Marisol's for just a second, but then he was falling back, the force of the blow knocking him to the ground. She could see the blood spurting in the air as his heart beat those last few beats.

"I didn't need to fire any more than that."

"You knew he was dead?"

"I knew he wasn't a threat any longer."

"What did you do next?"

"Roy moved toward Joanne. Beth and Mary held their places and Hank moved toward the restaurant; I'm sure to make sure the police and the fire department had been called. Johnny and I moved toward Dennis. Johnny knelt down next to Dennis and searched for a pulse in his neck. I moved to secure the knife. When I looked back at Johnny, he just shook his head and moved to help with Joanne. I knew Dennis was dead, but after Johnny moved I knelt down and checked for a pulse myself."

"Why?"

"I know Johnny would've have worked to save Dennis's life if it had been possible. No matter that he had just stabbed Joanne; it's just who he is. But, I had to know for myself. I had to know with absolute certainty that I couldn't save him."

"And you didn't find a pulse?"

Marisol shook her head. "His eyes were open, I closed them. By then the police were arriving and I moved to give my statement."

"I've read the reports of the police officers that were on scene. I've read the accounts given by the witnesses that were not part of your dinner group and I've now listened to your accounting of the shooting," The Internal Affairs Officer said. "This will all be presented to your Captain, and run by the District Attorney; but my recommendation will be that this be ruled a just action and considered a good shooting. However, I am going to mandate that you visit the station psychologist once before returning to active duty."

Marisol looked at the officer and nodded. She wasn't sure how she felt about having a department psychologist; but she figured it couldn't hurt. Marisol knew she had made the decision she had to make to save other lives, but she still struggled with the knowledge that she had taken a human life that evening.

"You're free to go. I'm sure you want to join your friends at the hospital. I hope Joanne is okay."

"Thanks," Marisol stood up and reached for the door.

"I know this was a justified shooting; but, if it'd been you…"

"Don't do that, Officer Sanchez. Don't start trying to second guess your decisions. It's a sure fire way to have issue on the job. You made a call, it was a justified call; deal with ramifications of that decisions, but don't second guess the decision."

Marisol nodded and headed out the door. She wanted to join Marco at the hospital. She really needed a hug.

E

Chet hung up the phone.

"How is she?" Mary looked up from the table. They were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee.

Lizzie had Chris and Jennifer in the living room with her watching TV. When they had first gotten to their house, they had helped the kids create a "fort" in Lizzie's room and talked up what fun they were going to have with this sleep over. When Chris had asked about their parents, Chet had simply said that they had some business they needed to take care of at the hospital and that the kids were going to stay the night with them.

"She's in surgery. They are giving her blood and she's got good surgeons," Chet said sitting down and looking at Mary. "You know, you were standing right next to Joanne; that coulda been you."

"But it wasn't," Mary said, placing her hand over Chet's.

"I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

"Me. You're the one that puts your life on the line every time you clock in for work."

"I guess we've never really talked about this have we?" Chet asked, looking over at Mary.

She shook her head.

"I love what I do Mary. I'm careful and I have a great group of guys watching my back. But, I'd be lying if I said I was sure I'd always come home, or even come home without injuries."

"I know," Mary said. "I thought about it a lot when I first saw you again and found out you were a fire fighter. I mean, when we were kids, I was the one pushing us to be dare devils and take risks and here you're the one that took the dangerous job. I wasn't sure I could handle it. For me, or for Lizzie."

"But?" Chet asked, assuming she must have decided she could live with the risk.

"But, I decided to take it one day at a time and not borrow trouble."

"Does that mean that tomorrow you could decide that my job is too risky and you can't be with me anymore?" Chet asked.

Mary was quiet for a long time.

Chet pulled his hand back. He sat back in his chair, his mind spinning. He was letting himself get serious about her and here she was telling him that she could dump him at any minute.

"I wasn't sure up until tonight," Mary said. "Watching Joanne get stabbed," Mary shook her head. "I realized none of us are promised tomorrow and we need to take full advantage of every minute we have. I'd rather go through the heartbreak of losing you to a job you loved than losing you because I was afraid to take the risk. I mean I end up heartbroken either way."

Chet leaned forward and kissed her. "I love you, Mary."

"I love you too, Chet."

E

Ashley rubbed her eyes and looked toward the clock on the wall opposite of where she sat. It took a moment for her eyes to focus; it was almost midnight. Joanne had been in surgery for over four hours. Ashley looked around the room. Hank sat on a two-seater bench, his head dropped forward in sleep. Beth had her head in his lap and was curled up on her side trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. Marco had just stretched out his legs, slid down in his seat and rested his head against the back of the chair. His mouth hung slightly open as he slept. Marisol sat in the chair next to him, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes were closed, but Ashley would have bet money she wasn't asleep.

Mike was sitting on the floor, he back against the wall, his eyes closed. Tina sat between his legs, leaning against his chest. She also appeared to be asleep. Roy sat in a chair a few feet from her. His arms resting on his legs, his head down as he stared at the ground.

Ashley sat up a little straighter, grimacing at the tightness in her back muscles. She stood up and walked over to the window, where Johnny sat on the window sill, his back against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him. His head was turned to face out the window, but his eyes were closed. The opened as Ashley approached. He immediately turned to check on Roy, but saw he was still just sitting there.

Johnny reached out and pulled Ashley close to him. "Doin' okay?"

Ashley nodded. "It's been over four hours," she whispered.

"I know."

"I can't believe just this morning we were making love and now…"

Johnny swung his legs down so he could easily face her. "I know." Johnny pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Ashley let her head rest on his shoulder.

The ding of the elevator stopping at their floor and then the whoosh as the door opened had everyone looking toward the elevator and quickly getting to their feet and Dr. Brackett and Dixie stepped off the elevator and started heading toward them.

Roy moved toward them, and everyone moved to stand behind him. No one said a word, their presence simply conveying the message that no matter what they were here for Roy.


	15. Chapter 15

"Roy," Dr. Brackett said, his eyes meeting Roy's, then moving too quickly sweep over the group and lock back with Roy's blue eyes.

Roy wanted to say something, but he found his mouth felt like it was full of cotton and his throat like he had swallowed a handful of sand. Instead, he just stood there, trying to read the taciturn doctor.

Dr. Brackett continued to stand there for a moment. Dixie moved forward and put her hand on Roy's arm.

"She's alive," Dr. Brackett finally said. Roy felt his knees buckle slightly, but he caught himself.

"Oh, thank God!"

"We are a long way from out of the woods, Roy," Dr. Brackett cautioned. "We're having trouble stabilizing her. Her pulse rate and blood pressure are fluctuating wildly, she's running a temperature already and she isn't showing any responsiveness to pain stimuli yet, even though I would have expected some by now."

Roy looked at him.

"What does that mean?" Marco asked, looking at Roy and Johnny's somber face and then looking back at Ashley who had tears in her eyes.

Roy looked at Marco, but Johnny is the one who spoke. "It means she's still in a lot of trouble, and we're not over the rough part yet."

"She's a fighter, Roy. Don't give up on her," Dixie encouraged him.

"Can I see her?"

"We're getting her situated in the Critical Care Unit. You can see her in a few minutes," Dr. Brackett said.

"I'll come get you when she's ready," Dixie said, before turning to follow Kel back to the elevator.

"I'm gonna go wash my face," Roy said quietly as he moved toward the restroom. He needed a few minutes alone to process what he'd just heard.

Roy pushed open the door and sighed with relief when he realized he was the only one in the restroom. He moved over to the urinal and took care of business. He zipped up his pants as he moved over to the sink. Roy kept his eyes down as he washed his hands. When he turned off the faucet, he allowed himself to look in the mirror.

Roy took in his disheveled hair, his blood shot eyes from fighting tears several times throughout the evening and the paleness of his skin. "It's only been a few hours DeSoto and in the best case scenario you're looking at months of healing and rehabilitation time. You'd better pull yourself together," Roy spoke to the image in the mirror.

He turned the water back on and placed his hands under the cold water. He splashed water on his face several times, reaching for a paper towel he quickly dried his face. A quick glance in the mirror told him the action had made little difference.

Roy crumbled up the paper towel and tossed it into the garbage can. He forced himself to straighten his spine, noticing the twinge of muscles that had been slouching for quite some time. He took a deep breath and pulled the door open, stepping back into the hallway.

Eight pairs of eyes turned to look at him and Roy found himself having to mentally fight the urge to flee back into the restroom. "Look guys, I appreciate you staying with me. But, Joanne's outta surgery now and there's nothing you can do here tonight. I think you all should go home and get some sleep."

No one moved.

"Look, I'm serious. We're gonna need a lot of help later, getting the kids to school, getting Joanne to therapy, cleaning the house. Go home, get some sleep."

The elevator dinged and everyone turned to look as the doors open and Dixie stood looking at them. "C'mon, Roy. I'll take you to see Joanne."

Roy moved toward the elevator, but turned back just as he was getting ready to step in. "Go home. Junior, that's an order," Roy said, looking pointedly at Johnny. He stepped in the elevator and the group watched as Dixie leaned forward and pushed a button. The doors closed.

"I'm not leaving," Johnny said, looking at Captain Stanley.

"I wasn't about to order you too, Johnny. But, I think Roy is right too. He and Joanne are gonna need a lot of help, while she's still in the hospital and when she first gets home. We need to start thinking long-term."

"I can make a list of all the things Joanne probably did for Roy, the kids, the house," Beth offered.

"And I can make a list of all the school activities, days off, conferences, etc. that are going to come up for both Chris and Jennifer in the next couple of months," Marisol offered. "Officer Jenkins' wife is a school teacher at their elementary school. I can use her as a resource."

"I can take all that information, incorporate the guy's work schedules and come up with a schedule for covering all the items, including overnight child care for the next couple months," Tina looked around at the group.

"Can you get me transferred to B or C shift at 51?" Ashley asked Captain Stanley.

"I think that may be a bit pre-mature."

"Captain Reagan told me today that Kyle is refusing to work with me anymore. It's most likely that I'll get transferred. At least I can use it to help Roy."

"We can look into the idea of a temporary assignment given the circumstances," Captain Stanley said slowly. "I don't want to consider a long term assignment at this time. But, we can probably convince Chief McConnike that a short-term assignment to help out Roy is a good idea."

Ashley narrowed her eyes. Why would Captain Stanley think her working at Station 51 on a different shift than Johnny was a bad idea? She knew now was not the time to ask that question, so instead she simply nodded.

"I'll call him in the morning," Captain Stanley said, looking at his watch. "In the meantime, Roy is right, we need to start getting some sleep and preparing for all they need in the future. Mike, Tina, Marco and Marisol, head out and get some sleep. Beth and I will stay with Johnny and Ashley for a few more hours. Beth can use that time to generate a list of all the things that Joanne usually does around the house, and for the kids and Roy. On our way home, we'll tape it to your door Marco. You get it to Marisol some time tomorrow. Marisol, do you think you can get all the school information tomorrow?"

"I'll call Ed tonight and ask him to drop off the schedules and any information his wife can get me on his way to the station in the morning."

"As soon as you have that information all together, you guys get it to Mike and Tina," Captain Stanley looked over at Tina. "You already know our schedule for A shift; I'll let you know Ashley's shift as soon as I talk to the Chief."

Tina nodded. "If I get everything by tomorrow evening I'll work as long as it takes to get the schedule for at least the next month together by the next morning. Mike can bring it to the station."

"Okay, everyone, we've got a plan. The four of you head home and get some sleep. I'm gonna go call Chet and give him an update. Once he drops Chris and Jennifer at school tomorrow, I'll have him come relieve us so we can get some sleep," his eyes met Johnny's.

When Johnny went to protest, Captain Stanley held up his plan. "Long term plan, Gage. We all have to get sleep and eat or we'll be useless to help Roy. We'll make sure at least one person, preferably two are here at the hospital with Roy at all times. But, when it's not your shift, you will go home, sleep, eat and spend time taking care of yourself; and that is an order."

The group nodded at Captain Stanley's firm tone. "Yes, Cap", the guys and Ashley all muttered. Beth bit her lip to stop from smiling. That was her husband, taking the lead and watching out for his men. She couldn't help but think how sexy he was at that moment.

E

"Why don't you and Beth go find Roy and see where Joanne is at," Ashley suggested, as the gang dispersed. "Captain Stanley and I will go find coffee for everyone."

Johnny nodded, just wanting to go check on Roy.

Beth looked briefly at Ashley, but then gave Hank a kiss on the cheek and followed after Johnny.

Captain Stanley slipped his hands into is pockets and started walking toward the cafeteria.

"Why don't you want me at Station 51?"

"It has nothing to do with you being at 51."

"Then, why are you so reluctant for me to transfer to 51 on B or C shift. I'd be able to get the kids to school before I relieved Roy from his shift and I can stay at his house when he and Johnny are on shift. It'll allow them to stay partners and Roy to know the kids are well taken care of."

"And what about you and Johnny?"

"What'dya mean?"

"Look," Captain Stanley stopped walking and turned to face Ashley. "Obviously, you and Johnny have gotten past whatever bump you were going over the last few weeks; but let's say for one minute, I approve a permanent change for you to go to B shift. For 24- hours, you are living at Roy's house, taking care of his kids, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, doing laundry, everything a wife would do. Then, for the next 24-hours, you're on shift. Johnny's probably at Roy's helping out, hearing the kids talk about you, taking care of them, making their lunch, teaching them to cook, clean, helping with homework. All the things Johnny hears them talk about in regards to Joanne now. Then, you're off for 24-hours. You're gonna be exhausted, taking care of a family and then working as a fire fighter is tough. But, you're gonna have to go spend some time with Roy. You need to fill him in on what happened when he was on shift. You need to plan for the next week, talk about meals, house repairs, issues with the kids. How long do you think that lasts before Johnny starts to see you more as Roy's wife than his girlfriend? Do you really think you can play wife to Roy and not have it affect how things go between you and Johnny?"

"I wouldn't be playing wife to Roy," Ashley protested.

"What do you think a wife does Ashley?"

When Ashley didn't respond, he continued. "She runs the family and the house. I may be the Captain at the station, but Beth is the Captain of the home. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the girl's schedule, let's me know which appliance we need to start saving to replace. She keeps track of doctor's appointments, and when I last called my brother. Birthday cards, presents, social events, you name it. That's a lot of what you are looking at taking on for Roy; if the worst happens."

"A wife is more than that," Ashley said, her eyes down, and her cheeks growing slightly pink as she thought about her and Johnny wrapped in each other's arms this morning.

Captain Stanley decided to go with a different track. "Let's say that Johnny manages things just fine. But, he's still on shift one day, you're on shift the next day, and the third day, you have to spend some time with Roy and his family, so you have a few hours together every third day. It's gonna be tough to build a relationship with that kind of strain. If you and Johnny can't make things work and the relationship ends, do you really think none of you are going to wonder if it's because you were helping Roy? Do you think Roy isn't going to wonder if it isn't his fault? How do you think that changes the dynamic between Johnny and Roy?"

"I never thought about it," Ashley said.

"That's my job," Captain Stanley said, starting to walk down the hall again.

"So what do I do? I want to help Roy?"

"We pray that Joanne makes it through this and Roy only needs short-term help and we spread that out as much as possible," Captain Stanley put his arm around Ashley's shoulders. "You may not be on A-Shift, but we told you before, you're A-Shift family."

They grabbed cups of coffee and headed back toward the ICU.

E

Mike closed the apartment door and double checked the locks.

Tina moved up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his back. She rubbed her cheek against the rough fabric of his shirt. Mike dropped his arms over hers and just stood there for a moment.

"You always think it's gonna be one of us lying in the hospital fighting for life. I never think about what it would be like to be the one waiting to find out if the person you love more than anything in the world is going to die."

Tina said nothing, just tightened her grip on Mike's waist.

"I don't know how I would make it if something happened to you," Mike whispered.

Tina loosened her grip so Mike could turn to face her. "I think about it," Tina whispered. "Not a lot, but some nights when you're on shift, and it's really quiet, suddenly the sound of sirens can be heard in the distance and I can't help but wonder, is this the night the phone rings with news the future."

"Your job is dangerous too. You've already been attacked by a patient."

"It's not the same as yours. My danger came at me; you rush toward yours."

"Do you want me to resign?"

Tina pulled away. "Don't say things you don't mean."

"I mean it. I love you, Tina. I see what this is doing to Roy and I don't want to put you through that. If you want me too…" Mike paused, knowing what he was about to offer. "I'll find another career."

Tina moved forward and hugged Mike hard. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply. "I love you, Mike. I love that you love me enough to offer that. And I love you enough, that I would never ask you to do that. You love being a fireman. You love the action, the adrenaline rush, you love helping people and bonding with the men like family," Tina shook her head. "You wouldn't be you, if you were anything else and I wouldn't change you for anything in the world."

Tina took Mike's hand and moved them to the couch. She sat down and tugged him to sit down next to her. "I know there is a greater risk of something happening to you because of your job. But, no one is guaranteed tomorrow, look at Joanne. The days I get with you, the real you, are worth the risk."

Mike leaned forward and kissed Tina, pulling her closer as he deepened their kiss. Tina slipped her arms around Mike's neck and let him slide her down on the couch so his body could cover hers. She felt desperate to feel close to him.

Watching Roy had been incredibly tough on Tina. As a psychiatric nurse she'd watch the grief and guilt overwhelming Roy several times throughout the night. The coping mechanisms he'd learned as a paramedic helped, he was able to occasionally pull back and get some professional distance, but since it was his wife, those moments didn't last very long. Tina hadn't been able to avoid imagining what it would be like if it was Mike fighting for his life. Looking at the group in the waiting room, Tina knew it would be those same people that would be sitting with her if she was waiting to hear about Mike's fate. It had been terrifying and comforting at the same time. She hadn't been able to resist making sure she had one hand on Mike at all times, physical assurance that he was safe with her.

Mike slipped his hand under Tina's shirt, her skin was soft and warm. He deepened their kiss further, pressing his body against hers. He had noticed that Tina had constantly kept a hand on him throughout the evening. He assumed it was because she needed reassurance that he was safe. He'd seen too many family's victims mourning to not recognize the signs. He had to admit, he felt them too; if she hadn't touched him, he would have been touching her. Watching Roy had been tough. He'd seen Roy face scenes that would give even the toughest of men nightmares; and nothing had ever affected him like waiting to hear word on Joanne. Mike needed the reassurance that he and Tina were both alive and well.

He pulled back and stood up, reaching for Tina's hand. She allowed him to pull her to her feet and lead her into the bedroom. She knew he was feeling the same thing she was; a desperate need to be as close to each other as humanly possible. "I love you," they whispered in unison, as Mike joined their bodies.

E

Roy leaned his head against the edge of the bed and forced himself to close his eyes. He'd been starring at the monitors hooked to his wife for the last half hour; his heart stopping every time the numbers monitoring her heart rate dropped to a dangerously low level, but then racing in sync with hers when the beats became erratic and crossed over the 100 mark. He fought the desire to open her eyes and look at the monitors again. He tried to focus on his breathing, but all he could hear is humming of the ventilator that was breathing for Joanne.

Roy squeezed his eyes shut tighter as the urge to look at the monitors began to overwhelm him. He couldn't keep watching those numbers; each change was like a knife stabbing his own heart. He moved his hand up, slipped it under the covers and covered Joanne's hand with his own. "I'm so sorry, Honey. This is all my fault. I should have just pleaded guilty and let them put me in jail. It would have been so much better on you than this."

Roy's mind played back to when Johnny called him to ask if he and Joanne wanted to meet them for dinner. They'd been having an argument. Roy couldn't even remember about what now. Probably something incredibly stupid. They'd been arguing about stupid items a lot the last few days. He knew it was because of the stress hanging over them with the trial.

Roy had hung up the phone with Johnny and turned to face Joanne. "They want us to have dinner at Jordan's tonight."

"They?"

"Ashley and Johnny."

"So, what, they're talking again, or we're gonna be ref's in the latest battle?"

"Like this one," Roy had muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," Joanne said, shooting Roy a dirty look.

"Do you want me to call and tell them we can't go?" Roy's voice held the frustration that he felt.

"So I can be the bad guy?"

"So you don't have to go," Roy shot back.

"Maybe I just won't go and you can go without me. It'd be nice to get a break from our stimulating conversation."

"I couldn't agree with you more," Roy said, grabbing a beer out of the fridge and heading outside. "I've got to change the oil in the station wagon."

Joanne watched him go. As he was walking out the door, a sponge hit the wall right near his head. Roy turned around, giving her a dirty look and slammed the door as he exited the house. He wasn't sure what Joanne had done next, but when he'd come back the kitchen had been spotless and she was upstairs scrubbing the bathroom floor. The one good thing about an angry Joanne was the house was spotless.

Roy had leaned against the door frame of the bathroom watching Joanne briefly. He couldn't help letting his eyes wander toward her butt, that was stuck up in the air as she reached forward to wipe the floor around the toilet. She had an amazing butt.

"I'm sorry. Please come tonight."

"No." Joanne's one word answer had been terse, at best.

"Please."

"No."

"Look, it'll do us good to get outta the house and see some friends."

Joanne continued to scrub the floor.

"Jo, c'mon, don't be like this."

Joanne stood up, turned and faced him. "Be like this," her tone was angry. "Like what, Roy, tell me how I'm being." Joanne put her hands on her hips.

Roy sighed and turned away.

He went back outside and sat on the deck, killing time before he had to leave for dinner.

"Are you ready?" Roy had looked up to find Joanne standing there, she had changed her clothes, styled her hair and put on make-up.

"Are you going?"

"Obviously," Joanne said.

Roy stood up and walked over the car, Joanne following behind him. They hardly said a word to each other on the drive to the restaurant. Roy had gotten out of the car and moved to go open her door. Mike and Tina were parking just a few spots over from them and Roy didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they were fighting. But, Joanne opened the door on her own and got out. Roy watched as Mike and Tina moved over to join them; he didn't think they noticed the action. He and Joanne waited for them to join them. Marco and Marisol had joined them in just a few minutes and they had all walked in together.

Roy had hung slightly behind the group as they walked in. Mike had kept his arm around Tina's shoulder, Marco and Marisol had been laughing and whispering at some private joke. As they entered the restaurant he had noticed Captain Stanley sitting at the head of the table, he and Beth were holding hands. It didn't take more than a glance at Johnny and Ashley to know things had improved between them, he had his arm around her waist and she was pressed up close to him. He'd actually been whispering something in her ear that had her blushing slightly when they walked in.

Johnny had indicated that Roy should sit at the end of the table. Roy pulled out the chair next to his for her. As she had sat down, he'd whispered, "Sorry," in her ear. Joanne had looked up at him and raised her hand to cover his hand that rested on her shoulder. She had said nothing, but he knew by her look that she was sorry too.

"We never got to make-up properly," Roy whispered.

He opened his eyes, but forced his gaze to stay on Joanne's face and not the monitors. Her auburn hair stood out starkly against her pale skin. Her eyes were closed, her long lashes resting softly against her cheek. Roy let his gaze wander to her mouth, they fixated on the tube that ran into her mouth and down her throat, tape holding it in place. He quickly forced his eyes to close again.

"Please wake up, Joanne."

E

Johnny looked up at the sound of steps coming down the hallway. He stood up when he recognized the person walking toward them in a military uniform.

"Captain Johnson," Johnny said, as he stood to his feet.

"I heard about Joanne. How is she?"

"Critical condition," Johnny said.

"I'm sorry this happened."

"Well, at least Roy can put the case behind him now and just focus on Joanne."

Captain Johnson looked over at her. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, Dennis Kramer was obviously mentally ill. He stabbed Joanne."

"Dennis Kramer wasn't the plaintiff in this case, Miss James," Captain Johnson said, looking at Ashley.

"What does that mean?" Ashley looked confused.

Captain Stanley stood up. "Dennis Kramer isn't the one bringing the case against Roy. The United States Army is."

"So Roy still has to go to court over this?" Johnny said, looking from Captain Stanley to Captain Johnson.

"I just came by to tell him we go to trial on Monday."

"That's in three days," Beth said, standing up and moving to stand over next to her husband.

"Given the circumstances, don't you think you can get that delayed," Captain Stanley said.

"I already tried. The request for a continuance was denied."

Johnny ran his hands through his hair. "This is unbelievable," he said, his voice rising. "A maniac accuses Roy of killing his brother that we all know could not be true. Then, this same nut job stabs Roy's wife and you're putting Roy on trial!"

Ashley put her hand on Johnny's arm. "Johnny, relax."

"No!" Johnny jerked away. "They're trying to put Roy in jail at the word of a guy that just stabbed his wife! This is ridiculous!"

"Sit down, Junior," Roy said, walking into the hallway.

"Roy, do you know what he's saying?"

Roy nodded, "I heard him."

"I'm sorry, Roy. I tried to get the case dismissed. When that didn't work I tried for a continuance," Captain Johnson shook his head. "We go to trial on Monday."

Roy looked back toward where Joanne lay in the ICU. "I didn't want Joanne to have to sit through the trial anyway."

E

"Are you okay?" Johnny sat down next to Roy, he only glanced briefly at Joanne and then turned his attention back to his friend, whose eyes never left his wife.

"I need you to promise me something, Johnny."

"Anything, Roy."

"If I get convicted, and Joanne dies, promise me you'll raise Chris and Jennifer."

Johnny stared at Roy, his mouth hanging open.

Roy turned to look at him. "Promise me."

"What about Joanne's mom?"

"Joanne and I updated our will a few months ago. We named you as the guardian for the kids. Promise me, Johnny."

Johnny heard the fear and desperation in Roy's voice. "I promise."

The two men turned to look at Joanne, both lost in their own thoughts.


	16. Chapter 16

Roy crawled into bed, convinced he'd never be able to fall asleep. Captain Stanley and Dr. Brackett had ganged up against him. Dr. Brackett had informed Roy that he wanted to run some tests on Joanne and was not going to allow any visitors in her room for the next eight hours. Captain Stanley had then ordered Roy to go home and get some sleep. Chet had just gotten to the hospital after dropping the DeSoto kids at school, so he had driven Roy home. Roy could hear him in the next room, he was cleaning the kid's rooms. Joanne's mother was on her way and Roy had mentioned he'd need to clean the kid's rooms so he didn't hear about how they were letting their kids run wild. Chet had told him to sleep that he'd take care of it.

Roy lay on his back staring at the ceiling. How could Dr. Brackett and Captain Stanley honestly think he was going to sleep with Joanne in the hospital and his trial starting in just a few days. Roy rolled to the side and pulled Joanne's pillow close to his face, it smelled like her shampoo. Roy closed his eyes and took several deep breathes.

E

"Roy."

"Roy."

Roy stirred at the faint sound of someone calling his name. "Hmmm."

"Roy, dinner's ready. You should come eat."

Roy's eyelids fluttered. He raised his hand to rub his eyes, and then covered a yawn. He opened his eyes and then blinked a few times as they focused on the figure standing in the doorway. "Helen," Roy rolled over and stood up, facing his mother-in-law.

She took in his wrinkled clothes and unshaven face. "Why don't you take a moment and grab a shower and shave," she suggested. "I'll keep your dinner warm. The kids are really wanting to see you."

"Did you tell them about Joanne?"

"No. I thought that was your place."

Roy nodded.

"I'll see you downstairs."

Roy watched as she turned and headed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Roy rubbed his eyes one more time and then moved to the dresser to grab some clean clothes. He headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower, shaved and dressed in clean clothes. He went to open the door, but paused with his hand on the handle. He was going to have to face his children and tell them what happened to their mom. How do you describe that kind of violence to kids?

Roy opened the door and made his way down the stairs.

"Dad!" Chris came running at him from his spot at the dining room table.

"Daddy!" Jennifer was only a step behind him.

Roy bent down so he could wrap his arms around his kids and pull them close. He closed his eyes while he hugged them close.

"Where's mommy?" Jenny was the first to ask.

Roy led the kids to the couch and sat down, pulling Jenny onto his lap, and Chris to his side. He kept his arm around Chris's shoulders. He watched as Joanne's mom sat down in a chair across the room.

"Is Mom okay?" Chris asked, the fear showing in his eyes.

"Guys, your mom's been hurt. She was hurt pretty bad. She's being taken care of by the best possible doctors."

Jenny started to cry. Roy pulled her closer and kissed her head.

"I want to see mommy," Chris said.

"I'm sorry, buddy, they won't let you into the hospital."

"I went when Jenny was born," Chris protested.

"I know Chris, but this is different. They won't let you in where mommy is right now."

"Is mom going to die?" Chris asked.

"NO!" Jenny screamed.

"Chris," Roy raised his voice.

Roy took a deep breath. "No, no, mommy is not going to die," Roy said, with as much conviction as he could muster. He lifted Jenny's head from his chest. "Mommy is going to be fine, do you hear me."

Roy hugged them both closer and looked across the room and met Helen's eyes. She said nothing, simply stood up and moved into the kitchen.

"Your food is gonna get cold kids, come and finish eating. Roy, I've got your plate ready."

Roy stood up and led the kids into the dining room. He sat at the table, encouraging them to eat.

"You're not eating," Chris observed.

"Well, that's because he's too worried about you not eating," Helen said, sitting down.

Roy took his cue and started eating his dinner. The first few bites were like swallowing saw dust, but eventually he began tasting the food and his stomach finally managed to get the signal to his brain that he hadn't had anything to eat in almost 24 hours. Before he knew it he'd eaten everything on his plate.

"Do you want more?"

"No, thanks. It was really delicious, but I need to get back to the hospital."

"Your friend Johnny called while you were sleeping. He'd said he'd come by at 6:00 PM to get you. He also said to tell you that Tina and Ashley are taking the night shift. I am assuming you know who they are and what that means."

Roy nodded. "I'm on shift tomorrow. I'll need to be in early to get some sleep before going to work at 8:00 AM."

"You're gonna go to work?"

Roy looked at her. "I have to."

"Is the money really that tight?"

Roy shook his head. "My sanity needs it," with that Roy headed upstairs to get his wallet. The clock on the wall telling him that Johnny would be there any minute.

Helen watched him trudge up the stairs and turned back to the sink and began washing the dishes.

E

"Any change?" Roy asked Dr. Brackett as he and Johnny walked into Joanne's room.

Dr. Brackett looked up from Joanne's chart. "She's stabilized. She still isn't responsive to pain stimuli or verbal commands, but stable vitals are a step in the right direction."

Roy couldn't help the frown that crossed his face.

"Roy, we talked about this, this is going…"

"To be a long process," Roy finished for Dr. Brackett. "I know. I just want her to be making faster progress than she is."

"I'm just glad she's making some progress," Johnny said.

Dr. Brackett continued looking at Roy.

"What?" Roy asked.

"I got subpoenaed today."

"Captain Johnson told you he was going to put you on the witness list," Roy said, perplexed why Dr. Brackett seemed so concerned by the subpoena.

"I was subpoenaed by the prosecution," Dr. Brackett clarified.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. They must have something they think I can say that is going to help them with their case against you that is more valuable than what I can say to help you."

Roy frowned.

"Can't you ask Captain Johnson what it is?"

"I've called and left him a message," Dr. Brackett said.

Roy bit his lip.

"There isn't any point in worrying about it until Captain Johnson calls back," Johnny said, trying to keep Roy from having one more thing to worry about.

"Easier said than done," Roy retorted.

Johnny shrugged. "Just sayin'."

Roy sat down in the chair next to Joanne and gently picked up her hand, placing it in his and then covering it with his other hand.

"Do you want any coffee?"

Roy shook his head. "No, I slept most of the day, I don't want anything else that is going to keep me from sleeping tonight since we're on shift tomorrow."

"You're gonna work?" Johnny and Dr. Brackett said in unison.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"It's surprising," Johnny said. "I figured you'd be requesting a replacement so you can be here with Joanne."

"Then why'd you arrange for Ashley and Tina to be here tonight?"

"So you could get some sleep and spend some time with the kids," Johnny explained.

"I don't think my sanity can survive sitting around and doing nothing but worrying about Joanne and the trial. I'd rather be able to concentrate on work."

Johnny and Dr. Brackett exchanged looks.

"What?" Roy said again, his exasperation evident.

"I'm not sure you're in the best mental state to be working, Roy," Dr. Brackett observed.

"And this isn't a job where you can be slightly distracted," Johnny added.

"I know what kinda job this is," Roy said, standing up, his voice rising. "Are you worried I'm gonna get you killed too, Johnny?"

Johnny and Dr. Brackett exchanged looks and then looked back at Roy.

"You didn't get Joanne killed, Roy," Dr. Brackett said, his voice calm and soothing. "She isn't dead and this isn't your fault."

"He's right, Roy. This is not about you. It's about Dennis Kramer and his issues. His problems, his delusions," Johnny added.

"If I'd just pleaded guilty none of this woulda happened."

"You don't know that for certain, Roy," Dr. Brackett said.

"Yeah, yeah I do," Roy said, sitting back down and taking Joanne's hand again.

Dr. Brackett rubbed his head. He had a choice to make. He had the authority to sit Roy out and tell him he couldn't work. In his professional judgement that was the right thing to do. But, this was Roy DeSoto and Dr. Brackett hated to have to make that call.

Dr. Brackett looked at Johnny and motioned for him to follow him out into the hall.

Roy scowled as he watched the two of them step out of the room. He knew they were talking about him. "I don't care what they say," Roy mumbled to Joanne. "I know this wouldn't have happened if I'd just plead guilty and let them take me to jail. And I know I can't just sit here all day watching your monitors and thinking about the upcoming trial. I'll go crazy."

Roy felt his heart skip a beat, he coulda sworn Joanne just squeezed his hand.

Dr. Brackett turned to face Johnny. "I don't want to turn this into an order, but Roy cannot work tomorrow. He is not in the proper mental state to effectively treat patients and stay safe."

"I can watch him," Johnny said, wanting to protect his partner.

"No, Johnny, you can't. Because then I have two paramedics in the field not giving their full attention to the patient and putting themselves in harm's way in a fire. I can't imagine Captain Stanley is planning on letting Roy work tomorrow."

Johnny looked down at his feet, digging the toe of his left shoe into the linoleum.

"Johnny?"

"Captain Stanley already got a replacement for Roy. I'm working with Dwyer tomorrow."

"Why didn't you say that to Roy?"

"I can understand where he's comin' from. I wouldn't want to sit around…," Johnny stopped mid-sentence when they heard Roy calling out for them.

"Dr. Brackett, Johnny! Dr. Brackett!"

They entered the room. "Roy, what is it?" Dr. Brackett's eyes instinctively went to the monitors.

"It's Joanne, she's squeezing my hand!"

Dr. Brackett moved over near the bed and watched as Joanne's hand flexed, and her fingers tightened around Roy's hand.

"Joanne, it's Dr. Brackett, can you hear me?"

The group waited a few seconds.

Dr. Brackett reached under the covers and tugged at Joanne's Achilles tendon.

Joanne moaned and moved her leg slightly.

Dr. Brackett looked up and smiled at Roy. He leaned over and pushed the button to call a nurse. A few seconds later Dixie entered the room. "You rang?"

"We've got a response to pain."

Dixie smiled. "Well it's about time."

She moved toward the head of the bed and eased the covers back a little bit to make Joanne a bit cooler. Dr. Brackett took her other hand and gave it a squeeze. Joanne responded by squeezing his hand in return.

"That's good, Joanne," he said in his deep voice. "But, now I need you to open your eyes."

He waited a few seconds. "Come on, Joanne, open your eyes. I need you to open your eyes," Dr. Brackett used his best commanding voice.

Joanne's eye lashes fluttered.

"C'mon, Baby, open your eyes," Roy pleaded.

Joanne's eyes opened briefly and then closed, but a few seconds later she opened them again, and blinked at Roy.

When she tried to talk, Dr. Brackett put his hand on her arm. "You won't be able to talk yet, Joanne," he said. "We've got you intubated to help you breathe." He looked at the monitor that indicated her oxygen level was 92.

"If you want, we can try to unhook the ventilator to see if you can maintain your oxygen level. If you can, we can remove the tube. It's gonna hurt a little to breathe the first few breaths you take. Do you want to try?"

Joanne nodded the little bit she could move her head.

Dr. Brackett nodded to Dixie. She leaned forwarded and disconnected the ventilator tube from the tube that ran into Joanne's mouth. They waited several seconds while Joanne struggled to get the air into her lungs on her own. After several minutes, her oxygen had dropped to 88, but was holding steady.

"Okay, Joanne, it looks like your oxygen level is staying in the acceptable range. If you want, I can remove the tube."

Joanne tried to nod again.

Dixie gently removed the tape that was holding the tube in place.

"Okay, Joanne, I'm going to count to three and then I want you to blow out really hard, like you're trying to blow out birthday candles."

Joanne kept her eyes locked on Dr. Brackett's. She was afraid to look at Roy because if he looked the least bit nervous she knew she would panic. She was already so scared. She felt Roy squeeze her hand though.

"One, two, three."

Joanne did her best to blow really hard, as Dr. Brackett pulled the tube.

Joanne gagged and then coughed several times. Johnny quickly poured her a glass of water and held it out to her. Roy took the cup and helped Joanne take a tentative sip. The cool water actually hurt her throat a little bit and she grimaced.

"It's normal for your throat to be sore," Roy said. "You'll want to keep your voice at a whisper for the next day or so."

Joanne looked at him, "I love you," she whispered.

I love you, too," Roy leaned forward and gently kissed her lips.

"Careful, there, Roy, we don't want to take her breath away," Dixie warned.

Roy eased back from the kiss and smiled. "She takes mine away every day."

The group enjoyed a moment of silence.

Dr. Brackett cleared his throat. "I hate to be the kill joy, but Joanne still needs lots of rest. I think it's best we let her relax."

"I'm gonna stay," Roy said. "Johnny, can you let Captain Stanley know I'm gonna need a replacement for the next few shifts?"

Johnny simply nodded and placed his hand on Roy's shoulder. "I'll call all the guys and spread the good news."

"Thanks."

Johnny leaned over and kissed Joanne on the cheek. "No more scaring us like that young lady," Johnny scolded her, while giving her a full crooked smile.

Joanne winked at him.

"I'll be back to check on you shortly," Dr. Brackett said, following Johnny and Dixie out of the room.

E

Johnny called Joanne's mom first, and she let him tell the kids. Jenny and Chris squealed with delight.

"When can she come home?" Chris asked.

"It'll still probably be a while buddy," Johnny told him. "But, we might be able to sneak you in here in a few days."

"Cool, thanks Uncle Johnny."

Johnny called the rest of the gang and they started making changes to the hospital schedule. Now that Joanne was awake they knew Roy would want to spend as much time as he could at the hospital, which meant they could divert more of their energy to helping with the house, kids and anything they could do with the trial.

He peeked in the room at Roy and Joanne before he left. Roy had crawled into the bed with Joanne and they were both sound asleep. Johnny closed the door quietly and headed out. He knew he should head home and get a good night sleep, but he realized he very much wanted to go be with Ashley. Watching Roy with Joanne made him crave that same type of love.

Ashley opened the door a few seconds after his knock. She stepped back to let him in. Johnny pushed the door closed and pinned Ashley between his body and the door. He pressed his lips to hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I need you," Johnny whispered.

Ashley allowed him to take her hand and lead her back toward the bedroom. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he began to make love to her. When they were finished, Johnny rolled over on his back and Ashley slid over resting her head on his shoulder, his arm around her. She ran her fingers lightly over his chest. It wasn't long until his soft snores told her he was sound asleep. She lay there for a few more minutes, thinking about Roy and how hard it had been for him to wait for word on Joanne. Ashley knew the scary part was over, Joanne was awake, but they were a long way from things being normal. How would she handle it if Johnny were ever seriously hurt? She'd lost so many people in her life already, maybe she was a jinx and she was putting Johnny in danger by letting him love her. What if she was hurt, would Johnny still be able to love her if she was bound to a wheelchair and unable to make love to him again?

Ashley rolled away from him to make sure the alarm was set so he wouldn't be late for his shift. She felt his strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her back toward him. "Don't go," he whispered.

"I was just setting the alarm," she whispered, snuggling back against him.

Johnny's hands slowly caressed her stomach and side, as he appeared to start to fall back asleep. It wasn't long though before his hand started to move up higher to caress her breasts and then down lower, slipping between her legs. Ashley moaned in pleasure and let her hand drift lower down his body. She found him already hard again. She opened her eyes to find him watching her, his dark eyes pools of desire. This time she straddled him, joining their bodies. She moved them in a slow rhythm wanting the connection to last as long as possible. Johnny reached up and slipped his hand behind her head, pulling her down for a kiss. "I love you, Ashley. No matter what."

Ashley closed her eyes and let his words sink into her heart. Maybe, just maybe things would be okay, she thought.


End file.
